THIRTEEN YEARS~REASONS WHY I AM MY MOTHER, TODAY!
These are the major traumatic events the enemy of ELOHIM has inflicted upon me that have turned me into who my mother was during the worst years of our lives, 1978-1981.
December 2008 ~ Two days before I delivered my eighth child, my first born, who was engaged to whom we thought was prince charming's brother, informed me with the most evil intentions, that she was moving out. I looked straight into the eyes of the devil-incarnate and saw the most evil person I've ever encountered. He truly was a demon, posing as prince charming who came to rip my happy family into shreds. What was supposed to be a joyous time, sent me into the worst post-partum depression I've ever had, not for the usual six months, but for over a year. Having lost my eldest at 21-years-old, I don't even remember 2009.
2010 ~ In my anger w/GOD, over the loss of my eldest, I walked away from Him. I fell back in love with my husband of 25 years, and we had a second honeymoon for 62 days. Then a freak stoke ended that. The best neurosurgeon at University of Kentucky Hospital could not explain why my 49-year-old husband just had a stroke one day. The hell started all over again, and in one day he went from my prince charming to my depressed patient husband that I had to nurse back to health. He was never the same after that. Depression hit both of us like a runaway locomotive. He was mad at God even more than me, then.
2010-2011 The nine of us lived below the poverty level while everything that could break or rot in our house did just that. Of course there was barely enough to pay the bills, repairs were out of the question.
2012 ~ YHWH called me back in a REALLY big way, and I started on the next phase of my life, post-childbearing. This was the year I seriously started working for the LORD as a writer, and it was the year the devil sent legions of his minions against me. He hasn't ceased since.
2013 ~ My first real failure as an inspired but beginner author.
2014 ~ While working on my true work of art straight from the LORD, the LOVE'S MUSES series, dual cancers struck both of us in the same year, and the death of my marriage began. During my cancer treatments, my husband of twenty-nine years told me to go find another husband because he was going to divorce me.
2015 ~ I spent most of the year trying to save my marriage, and I could not save it. My husband was hell-bent on destroying his family. I pleaded with GOD to save it, but He chose not to. My husband told me to go find another husband, and in December - I met a contemporary version of Amnon, from the 2 Samuel 13, just when I was the most vulnerable.
2016 ~ My husband moved out, and the trauma of cancer and impending divorce sent me into a rushed ill-fated relationship with the this Amnon. In August, we got our eldest back, but lost our second born. His wife, became jealous over our first born's return, and she was hell-bent on hurting all of us, using our only grandchild in the process. My first-born son cleaved unto his wife and completely dumped his entire family. We not only lost our first son, but we lost our first grandchild.
2017 ~ I caved into my carnal flesh from all the depressing things that had happened over the previous four years, and Amnon dumped me, right after I caved. That's when the LORD began the excruciatingly painful work of crucifying my flesh. My covenant husband took up with another woman. The next two years, I suffered the trauma of both men whom I loved having stomped on my heart, until there was nothing left but flesh that lay on the ground.
2018 ~ The year of Q, when we were all awakened to the ugly truth. This was the year when the truth was revealed about the deep state-New-World-Order Cabal and most of us patriots were traumatized at just how UGLY the past 55-years had been since our own government assassinated its own POTUS. I lost any friends I had left, and I left the church, because it betrayed me like none other. I also learned that there was a long list of women who suffered from this contemporary Amnon's carnal appetite. I was just the flavor of the month in 2016.
2019 ~ Despite his failings, and whom I thought was going to be my next husband, this "man," came back into my life. During the week my mother lay dying in a hospital bed, while seeking some kind of comfort, I vowed my entire body and life to this man for the rest of my life. Two days after my mother died, I found years' worth of emails that she had written to all her friends and my siblings where she completely ripped me and my children apart for no reason other than she had this love/hate thing with me that I never knew. Going to her funeral was the darkest day of my life. And just like Amnon, who hated Tamar he dumped me the week after my mother died.
2020 ~ C-O-V-I-D Need I say anymore? Divorce papers served right in front of my friends at the food pantry in which I served for two years. Like most of the world whose families were ripped apart by the trauma of C-O-V-I-D, my eldest became estranged again. She fell for all the con-job inflicted on the entire planet, and I lost her again, but this time I was denied access to my 2nd grandchild.
2021 ~ My covenant husband got his civil divorce. I refused to sign or cooperate. Three more of my offspring became estranged from me, coincidently right after the divorce -- hmmm! From July on, I became bed-bound with a debilitating degenerative disk disease. Praise GOD, I was blessed with major neck surgery, which put me on the one-year path to wellness, but limited my ability to move and took away my ability to work.
2019-2022 ~ I've sought for vengeance from GOD on my (covenant) husband and on the re-incarnated Amnon over the trauma they both caused to my dying heart, and yet have been denied it. I guess that's really all up to Him and not me.
I don't have any answers except that nothing that has happened to me has been outside the permissive or even perfect will of GOD, because we can't even fathom what He thinks is as good purpose, because to us, it seems just unjust, unfair, and outrageous at times.
