Take it to the proper place, Facebook!

      Everyone says never to air our dirty laundry publicly on Facebook or social media, but I think GOD disagrees.  Usually what man thinks, GOD is thinking the exact opposite, but with a twist of Omniscient Wisdom mixed in to it.  Some of us need to process our thoughts and pains and we think out loud. I used to be a journaler until arthritis made holding a pen so very unpleasant.  Age does that, it makes our thoughts clearer and our penmanship more difficult to decipher to even ourselves.  Do we have examples of journalers in the Bible?  I dare say yes, at least 150 times if not more. The book of Psalms is the writer publicizing his agonizing and invigorating thoughts for the readers to digest into their own lives. The Psalmist is processing his pain and the confusion into eloquent words until by the end of the Psalm, for the most part, he has acquired valuable wisdom from Above. Unfortunately, with much of that wisdom came even grievous sorrows, ah yet, to pull out his pen and start all over. 

      The book of Ecclesiastes is the work of the wealthiest and wisest king of Israel, in which he is griping about how meaningless life is.  All the way through it, Solomon is trying to process the intense Wisdom from Above, because he was given more than a flawed human would be able to bear and carry.  Let me tell you, it's true, the more you know, the more you wish you didn't know. By the time he gets to the twelfth chapter, he is able to put all his complaining and moaning together and come out with timeless wisdom that for 3,000 years we have benefited.  David and Solomon are gone, happily in Paradise, but they are still bearing fruit down here.  

     That my goal in life.  I want to bear fruit when I'm up in heaven, not while I'm down here. I know myself pretty well, and GOD knows me better.  I would not do very well with success. Failure, on the other hand, I excel at, and I am able to take it all in stride as I am quite used to it.  Failure is  safe, especially in obscurity.  It's in the failure that we learn the most about us, other people, life, and our Savior and GOD.  People give me a hard time about all the stuff I put up on my Facebook page, but what they don't realize, those are the little 2 am sessions are lessons of wisdom I get usually when insomnia from menopause takes control of my sleep schedule. It seems I sleep like a cow grazes, a nap here, a nap there, sometimes even standing up.  Those early Facebook posts are how I process the pain and lessons of the past twelve years.  Thank goodness for the delete buttons that I can just move those thoughts from Facebook to a blog post and delete the rough draft on my social media.  I always ask GOD the big questions during those, what I call, toddler temper tantrums, because to Him, I am that.   So, while I was having my little fit,  one of those deep questions.  "WHY ME?"  Not very original, but usually the question is "WHEN will this end?" to which there never is an answer.  So, I decided to go with a different approach today.   There are so many players involved in the causes of my broken heart and tears, and none of them are crying over it.  I happen to have a very deep and sensitive heart that holds on to things like GOD does, and I can never let it go, like memories, people I've loved, the things that hurt Him the most hurt me just as much.  GOD is the Author of our story so if someone has crushed us by doing us bad, it was GOD who took that bad thing to use it for good.  You could say He brought those waves into our storm, playing "devil's advocate,"  if you'll pardon the expression.  

     We all know the story of Job, and how GOD wagered a bet with the devil, knowing full well that He would win that bet, but the devil challenged GOD anyway, because he is evil and wants to do nothing but harm to YHWH's beloveds.  The Most High gave him free reign up to a certain point to wreak havoc in Job's life.  If you notice, he used weather, armies, and people partying to do all this damage to Job.  Then, when given another shot at it, GOD let him use sickness, and the devil messed him up good.  He was unrecognizable by his friends when they finally did come to his "aid."  The book says that they sat quietly with Job, not saying anything, which some people say was merciful.  I have a different perspective.  I'm going to guess they were processing all the bad that happened to Job and plotted in their minds just how they were going to explain this to him, putting all the blame on him, because, by golly, for it to be random, meant it could happen to them, so they had to place the blame somewhere.  They placed on a person, while Job the entire time placed blame on God, where it should have been placed.  

  

     This is not the lesson you would hear in a Sunday sermon, I can guarantee that.  So, when I asked GOD, the why me question, why am I the only one crying when there are multiple actors in this tragic literary story of my life, and like always, the answer came before I could finish the long e vowel sound in me.  He said, "Because, Kristina, you know how and where to process all this pain. They don't. "   GOD doesn't speak audibly to us, but He will put the answer in our head in a manner of thought, usually before we finish asking the question.  If the answer is bathed in Wisdom, something you wouldn't have thought of yourself, or the perfect answer, then, it's likely from GOD.   So, then I asked GOD, "Okay, I'm taking my griping and complaining to the right source, You want me to come to You, I get that, but I have to teach it to other bruised reeds, so You are going to have to show me and example in the Bible." And of course, before I finished the L sound in Bible, immediately John-the-Baptist pops into my head.  

     The poor dude was thrown in prison for doing what?  He was preparing the way for the Messiah, he was teaching about repentance, and he had the nerve to approach Herodias and Herod with what they were doing wrong. Well, that was gutsy, but it got him thrown in a dungeon for a set amount of time of which we are not informed.  After a while, hunger and fatigue started to get to him, and before you know it, he is starting to doubt the Lamb of GOD who takes away the sins of the world, when he was the one who gave him that title.  He saw the Holy Spirit come down on him, that was his cousin, the one that he experienced while still in his mother's womb who caused him to leap for joy. Now, he's starting to doubt?  Tell me, did he start griping to his disciple or guards or other prisoners with his doubt?  No, he went straight to the source and asked the Son of GOD himself, by way of messenger.  Did Jesus reprimand him for doubting?  Of course not, he gave him the answer that he needed to hear to comfort him while literally "dying" in prison.  

         So, I got my tears and frustration out on the Playwright to the story of my life. I sat there and griped and complained about how the waves were leaving me water-logged with no shore in sight, and here comes Yeshua, walking on water with the lesson I needed to calm the seas, and stop the tears.  It was wisdom from above that most people would not hear from a shame-inducing, holier-than-thou pew warmers who would never have gotten themselves in that kind of mess, hence they assume siliently to themselves that it was the bruised reed's fault.  As Job and Naomi right proclaimed, it wasn't always the broken person's fault, but it was in GOD's plan for their lives.  So, when am in suffering from another case of insomnia, because my arthritis has gotten so bad, instead of writing the question and answer session I've had with GOD  in my journal, I post it on Facebook.  Before I know it, I've posted a multi-paragraph post, and I realize that it's another blog post, so I copy and paste.  That my friends was how GOD's servants did it in the Bible in the wisdom books such as Psalms, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes, and that is why GOD gave us the book of Job.  I think that the friends of Job are a type of church people who need to blame the sufferer, lest such an unfortuante turn of events happens to them. 

   

  If Two Sparrows are Worth One Penny, What is a Hawk Worth? 

Another recycled and revised blog post)

      I never knew how much GOD hated divorce until it happened to me.  I never saw it coming, either.  I was married for 28 years when my husband first brought up the word divorce, while I was going through cancer treatments.  Yeah, I just have to throw that one in there in every post, just to rub it in a bit more.   We had been having a terrible time in our marriage for a few years before he brought it up, but I figured GOD would come in with the fix.   Our life became so difficult with job loss, dual cancers, adult child estrangements, financial oblivion, that something had to give.  I didn't know it would be my marriage.    In this fiery furnace of affliction, as we were being scorched by the flames, we went in two different directions.  I looked Up to GOD for help, he looked away.  I drew closer to GOD, he drew further away.  He disgruntledly blamed GOD for this misery, and I knew GOD had a good purpose in it.  That was the beginning of the end.  We both survived cancer in the same year, but our marriage did not.  That was around the time when the Holy Spirit whispered in my spirit that GOD was taking my husband out of the home, because he failed as a spiritual leader, as a father and as a husband.  Of course, I did not believe Him, but a year and a half later, my husband moved out.   He officially moved out January 2016, and even then, I refused to believe a divorce would happen. It took him five more years before he did file, and serve me, unexpectedly.  He got a big windfall in the form of an inheritance, and he chose to spend it on a divorce lawyer.  I would not file, because we both made our vows to GOD ten times, two wedding ceremonies and eight baby dedications.  If there was going to be a divorce, it would be on him, not me.  In fact, I wouldn't even look at the divorce papers, as soon as they came I tucked them neatly under his windshield wipers with a not-so-nice note.  I refused to get a lawyer, he said I didn't need one, yeah, right, but I knew my Lawyer was the One who wrote the Law. I ended up getting everything, he got to keep his little windfall.  Big deal.  

     We get along, for the most part, because as a full-time mother to our bottom two children, I won't bite the hand that feeds me.  One year on my birthday,  I lowered myself to ask him to take me to dinner, because for the last nine years, no one has taken me out for my birthday.  He said he'd give me an answer on my birthday, hoping that I would not ask again. His passive aggressiveness in an art form after all these years of avoiding things he is uncomfortable dealing with. When I disappointed him and asked again on that day when he came over to drop off one of the children, he told me that he was uncomfortable doing that.  In other words, he did not want to be seen with me in a restaurant, because he was almost boasting about having an "ex-wife." He joined the world in an acceptable almost favorable practice that is unacceptable to GOD.  Needless to say, I did not handle it well, and  I cussed him out, kicked him out of my house, yelling at him that it isn't always about him, sometimes it is about someone else.  He has no clue how to make someone happy, nor does he ever want to, because he is incapable of feeling what anyone feels. Only his feelings matter. 

   While cursing him, wishing him dead, I took my usual temper tantrum, shaking my fist at GOD, yelling at Him, and swearing that was the last straw, I swore there was nothing GOD could do to ever get me back as a totally devoted servant writer for Him.  My usual practice was blaming GOD for things other people did to me. I  was never going to open my Bible, write another encouraging Tweet or Facebook post, and least of all, another blog post.  I even deleted everything.  Thank GOD for the recycle bin, eh?  I don't know when it happened, but shortly thereafter, unbeknownst to me, GOD dropped a dead hawk in my front yard.  I live in the city.  I've never seen a hawk up close, let alone a dead one.  You would think you would find one out in the country, but not a mile from downtown.  There it was, dead as a doorknob with no explanation.   I knew that this had to be something from GOD. How often does a hawk fall from the sky and die on one's front lawn on their birthday, right after their "former" husband just failed another test from GOD?   Needless to say, I had to open up my Bible to find where a hawk is mentioned in the Bible, and there it was.  It's an abominable bird, an unclean bird that we are to never touch.  Wow!  Now that was pretty powerful.  What my former husband did is an abomination to GOD, making him a spiritually  unclean man, because he bailed on his vows to GOD, without cause. Jesus told us marital infidelity is the only legitimate cause for divorce, and well, he could not put adultery on his divorce papers. He had to go with a no-fault civil divorce.  No-fault, the irony of those words.  It is a way to go against GOD with man's civil laws, thereby convincing himself that is okay and acceptable.   He has no fear of what that means in terms of GOD's punishment.  There is a sin unto death that one can commit when their heart grows so cold against the LORD, that He has no more use for them down here, and they are doing more damage than good.  No one knows when that will happen, except GOD.

     I'm not going to deny it,  I expected widowhood to come then, and then again  in 2017, 2018, 2019, and I finally considered myself to have been wrong about that notion in 2020.  Our days are numbered, GOD has the number planned out before we are ever born. Scripture is clear that every day was written in His book before one of them began.   (Psalm 139:16)  January 30, 2022 was the day for that poor hawk.  That was the day GOD said to him, "Sorry, unclean animal, but your time is done."   Is there a correlation?  I have no idea, but it's a scary thought for me and my children. The adult children have followed in their earthly father's footsteps and have turned their backs on GOD, also, somne even on me. After all, nothing says, "I hate your mother so much, that I don't even want to be related to her after 37 years." If they don't see him being punished for turning his back on GOD, then they can get away with it also, or can they? This is something we humans cannot understand, because GOD promises to protect and defend us.  I'm convinced even if he was "disciplined" by GOD, neither he nor my adult offspring would see it as such. The human rebellious spirit has indemnible ways of writing off bad things that happen, without attributing it to it being the consequences of sin.   Because my former husband and I had a Covenant Marriage ceremony in 1990, in GOD'S eyes we are still married regardless of what a civil judge says. After all, man answers to God's Laws, not God answering to man's laws. 

   Right now, I consider myself a "married widow," a woman trapped in a dead marriage, based on what Romans 7 says. GOD will never go against His own Character or Word. There won't be another husband for me, because to GOD, I am still married.  It's a dreadfully lonely life, and one I am having a hard time dealing with, and my relationship with GOD is suffering for it. GOD understands when we wrestle with Him, because my life is not proof of GOD living by His own Word.  He promises justice and vindication for His devoted servants, and I've had neither.  He says that it's not good for man to be alone, (and even worse for the weaker sex), yet, He has chosen this life for me.  I'm not feminist, believing myself better or more capable than a man. I would love another husband to guide, lead, and tell me when to shut up! I know that I operate based on my emotional state, that is how many of us are built, as nurturers. What I do know is that if it takes GOD dropping a dead hawk on my lawn on my birthday right after being dissed by my husband, again, to let me know that He is watching and He is taking care of my situation on His time in His Way, but He is going to comfort me and let me know that He is here, every lonely mintute of the day, then, well, I have no right to complain. So, instead of asking for vindication and a new husband, I've settle with asking GOD to help me stop complaining and be content with His ordained will, and until that is accomplished, I'm sure that neither vindication nor a new husband is in the immediate horizon of my life. 

DO SOLAR ECLIPSES PREDICT EARTHQUAKES?

THEY HAVE IN THE PAST.

Tornadoes come with moments to days' warnings. Hurricanes have weeks' worth of warnings of their impending landfall, but what kind of warning do earthquakes have? None that we know of, right? Is it possible that GOD gives us warnings based on history? Ecclesiastes 1:9 tells us what has been will be again, and there is nothing new under the sun. That being said, in 1806 there was a total Eclipse draped across America, then again in 1811. Those two eclipses intersected just like the 2017 and 2024 eclipses intersected each other. What is worrisome is where they intersect, the center of the country near the New Madrid Fault Line. The Great Comet lit up the skies near the time of the eclipse in 1811, and very soon we will see The Devil's Comet in our night skies. Could GOD be warning us that the plates under the New Madrid fault Line, which are well overdue, are about to move, hence bringing on an earthquake similar to the tremendous earthquakes of 1811-1812? One of them was so powerful as to reverse the course of the great Mississippi River, causing it to flow upstream for a few hours and completely demolishing a town, causing it to fall into the Mississippi River. 1811-1812 New Madrid Earthquakes Please do some research on this forgotten national tragedy. Can you fathom what an 8.0 earthquake would do to our huge metropolises like Louisville here in Kentucky or Nashville in Tennessee, which is even closer to the fault line?

What is even more troublesome is there is a Scripture that could be describing this time we are living in. (“For thus says the LORD of hosts: 'Once more (it is a little while) I will shake heaven and earth, the sea and dry land; and I will shake all nations, and they shall come to the Desire of All Nations..,  8 'The silver is mine and the gold is mine,' declares the LORD Almighty. 9 'The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,' says the LORD Almighty. 'And in this place I will grant peace,' declares the LORD Almighty.”) There is a plan to bankrupt the central bank which hold's the nations of the world in endless debt, enslaving us much like the Hebrews were enslaved in Egypt 3500 years ago. Including in the plan to save America is to bring an end the Federal Reserve, returning us back to our own national bank and gold-backed currency. We are in a serious battle of good vs evil right now, and nothing we see on TV or the Internet can we believe. It is a well-planned covert military operation to take back America from the deep state and world-wide cabal.

It also concerns me that two cities named Nineveh were in the direct path of the darkening of the sun from the moon's eclipsing the sun. We know from history that the ancient city of Nineveh experienced a total eclipse then a massive earthquake before Jonah arrived to pronounce judgment upon that city. and that was why they were so quick to repent and seek GOD's mercy. A city of 120,000 people, including their livestock fasted for days to entreat GOD to not destroy them. One other thing that occurred to me tonight is that my number 5 child and her husband were just transferred a mere 700 miles away from their tower apartment in Louisville. It also had a multi-level parking garage, and can you just imagine what could happen to a 600-unit apartment building and the multi-level parking garage if an 8.0 earthquake struck 200 miles southwest of them? Maybe it's too much to think that GOD was protecting my daughter from impending disaster, but it is something to think about, and I hope you will.

I'm not prophesying or predicting, I'm only taking notice. Scripture speaks of earthquakes, and Haggai 2 speaks of one consistent with gold and silver. We cannot predict, but we can take notice. Future proves past, in other words, world events happen, then we find in Scripture where GOD said He would do that exact event. Too many circumstances seem to point to a devastating earthquake right here under our feet. I've done a lot of research and I'm quite concerned. We won't get any physical warning of such a geological disaster, but maybe GOD gave us a sign in the heavens. History, and Scripture, adding in the current events, an election year, all add up to too much probability. It is definitely something I think we need to pray about and be concerned about.