Cain's Candy

    

     Given a choice between Nerds Gummies, a chocolate bar with almonds over any kind of fish, I'm all about that protein in the almonds smothered in chocolate than the nastiness of that fish smell in my breath and in my home. Candy is great when the days are long, the nights are lonely, and the tears keep falling.  Even though it may brighten my mood slightly, that sweetness and pleasurable feeling I get from the candy is about as nutritious to my emotional health as the empty calories are to my body.  Now, being an older single mother, candy is just another one of the things I've had to give up, along with the hope of ever being deliriously happy, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make as an "Abel," even if it means the death of my hope of ever being a wife, again.   

      As a single mother, who needed to stay home so that I can be available 24/7 for the last of my eight children, it is by the Grace of GOD, their father is still providing, at least for now. It was the arrangement we made several years ago so he did not have to raise his children.  So far, it's the only promise he's kept.  I don't know how long that will last, but I do know that his offering to us is his blood money so he some how feels like he's contributing.  In other words, it is his guilt offering. He  wants nothing to do with being a husband, father, protector or GODLY influence anymore. One thing I've learned through this hell I'm living as a rejected wife is that an authentic man of GOD never walks away from his true responsibility as protector and spiritual leader. 

     The husband/father role is as the priest of the family, it's his job to care for the flock, and the wife/bride, represents the church. A man who walks away from his own church is like a Cain in the Bible.  I married Cain and not Abel, but what did I know  about the Bible when I married him forty years ago? I knew there was a Bible in existence, but I did not even know that there were two parts to it. I was raised as a Roman Catholic in the northeast. I went to mass every week, CCD classes, and I got confirmed when I was fourteen. After that, my mother said I didn't have to go anymore, so I didn't. That is the typical Roman Catholic in New England, we believe in drive-thru mass. Stop at the box, pick up your wafer, throw some change in the offering basket, and away you go, until next week. So, let's start at the beginning, huh?

     In chapter 4 of Genesis, we are introduced to only two sons of the first husband and wife. In this account, many of us are somewhat confused about why GOD accepted Abel's offering but rejected Cain's. I have heard so many speculative reasons why GOD accepted Abel's, but not Cain's. The reasoning of Flavius Josephus offered in his historical writings, The Antiquities of the Jews, seems to be the best. There is no better way to describe what he said other than quoting it exactly, so pay attention, this is some really good stuff:

"Now the two brethren were pleased with different courses of life: for Abel, the younger, was a lover of righteousness; and believing that GOD was present at all his actions, he excelled in virtue; and his employment was that of a shepherd. But Cain was not only very wicked in other respects, but was wholly intent upon getting, and he first contrived to plough the ground. He slew his brother on the occasion following---They had resolved to sacrifice to GOD. Now Cain brought the fruits of the earth, and of his husbandry; but Abel brought milk, and the first-fruits of his flocks: but GOD was more delighted with the latter oblation, when he honored what grew naturally of its own accord, than He was with what was the invention of a covetous man, and gotten by forcing the ground; whence it was that Cain was very angry that Abel was preferred by GOD before him; and he slew his brother, and hid his dead body, thinking to escape discovery."

      Basically what Josephus is saying is that Cain's offering was given out of force and greed of wanting to get back from GOD. Cain's work involved toiling the earth with greed, planting and harvesting without limit, in other words, enough was never enough for Cain. Whereas, Abel's giving was out of his heart, from the life GOD gave in his flocks. Abel was patient enough to wait for life to be brought forth, naturally, rather than to force it by his own means. Abel also gave a blood offering to cover his sins, which gave his sacrifice much more weight and depth of his heart toward GOD. Cain could have given his offering with a sacrifice of blood, and it would have been just as acceptable in GOD's sight, however, Cain's offering was carnal in nature.  It was the work of his own hands. It was what he thought best, not what GOD required or wanted of him.  Let me speculate as to what was in Cain's heart.  It was worship and sacrifice that he was comfortable giving, something that did not require much sacrifice on his own part.  

      I'm going to assume if Cain were in today's church, he'd be the guy sitting up in the back balcony of the mega-church, getting his ego fed  and incognito to some degree.  When the time of the offering came, he would drop his minimal amount, the least he could give out of compulsion, not out of thanksgiving, because he's been taught, if he drops a check in the basket, GOD will provide for his needs. In his mind, his life, however, is his own, because GOD gave him the gift of free will, and by grace he is saved for believing, and that's enough.  In his mind, GOD has no business getting into his business. He expects GOD to give, and as long as GOD keeps giving, he'll keep making his appearance in that balcony seat, and dropping that check in the basket, but once the supply that he feels was adequate becomes not to his heart's desires, and/or  GOD starts letting things fall apart, well, that's the end of his giving. If being a "Christian" is going to start hurting, financially, emotionally, or spiritually and interfere with his happiness, well then being devoted is not worth the pain.  Isn't that what the prosperity Gospel teaches us, give to GOD and He will give back to us?  So, are we giving of ourselves to be a sacrifice, or are we paying our dues to get what's coming to us? 

    In my middle-aged years, I was getting about as much candy and sugar as I was getting love from my husband. My husband used to complain about how GOD was letting all these bad things happen to us and that He wasn't doing anything good for us.  We both went in opposite directions, I went down on my knees begging for relief, whereas my husband just shook his fist at GOD.  I'm still on my knees seeking relief from GOD, but my husband sought relief and refuge in the arms of another. 

    A few years back, I bought a new laptop, because my estranged husband, gave me the money to buy one. I think that was his guilt, because he knew what evil he had planned up his sleeve.  When I got home from the store, I never even opened the box. The thought occurred to me that to type a blog or work for GOD with the money he let me have would be the same as Cain's offering. It was blood money.  My husband broke the vows he made to GOD ten times, i.e., two wedding ceremonies, including a Covenant marriage ceremony, and eight baby dedications. He even went as far as to tell me that GOD wanted him to be happy and live on his own. That is his truth, but not what Jesus said we should do. Never once did Jesus ever tell us to seek our own personal happiness regardless of the damage it would do to others.  Like Jesus,  I am devastated at his attitude and way of life, now. He considered himself blessed of GOD with an inheritance and a lump sum of money he received a few years back.  He thanked GOD for it, then bought himself a civil NO-FAULT divorce.  Maybe the money came from GOD, but Cain used it for the devil's purposes. With that money, he basically told GOD, "I don't want the wife you gave me, I don't want the children you put under my care, I just want the money my aunt left me, my  girlfriend, and to be left alone."  

    I did not even get a human lawyer to defend me in Zoom divorce court.  Three decades of devotion, and he divorced me in a Zoom court on the same day he asked me to marry him thirty-six years earlier.  I know GOD had everything to do with that date being the court date, because GOD was making a point to me.  "I was there when he asked you, I AM  here now as your Counsel!"  I'd much rather have the life and provision GOD is offering me, and I'll offer it all back up to Him, even if that means living in poverty, again. Cain's candy" isn't worth the "diabetes" of my spiritual life it would cause.  Is there a "Seth" for me later in life like there was for Adam and Eve?  I do not know, I only know that I'll reject "Cain's" offerings for the rest of my life, even if I have to sacrifice and do without.  We really need to consider what we are offering GOD.  I think Genesis 4 proves that offerings with the wrong motive behind them is rejected by GOD, but some are too blinded by their own carnal nature to understand or even admit to themselves that their offering and they themselves have been rejected by GOD, because they have created a God in their own image, one they can accept instead of the One who needs to accept them. 

 Prepare to be offended.

If you have ever read any of my blogs, you know that I am a straight shooter who doesn't hold back, even if that means offending some with the truth.   I got a good one for you today!  My view on abortion is definitely not what the typical church person says about it.  In fact, I have quite the different take on it.  In order to explain my view on abortion, I have to give credit where credit is due, the beginning of abortion. So, hang on to your hat, because here it comes! 

Birth control is the mother of abortion. For all you Christian families that use birth control, contributing your 2.5 children to the world's population, take a deep breath and absorb that for a minute.  I cannot quote the actual  source from which book and author I read this, however, I found it profoundly true. Back in my child-bearing age, I read a lot of books on the quiverfull movement, enough to stop using birth control.  My conviction did not come from those though, it just pointed me in the right place, the Bible. I was anti-birth control, long before that family everyone loves to hate made it to the big screen on TLC. Whenever GOD speaks of blessings and honor in the Hebrew Scriptures about any particular person, it always included the bountiful family size.  A man and a woman were considered honored of GOD by the amount of children GOD gave them.  A woman, on the other hand was considered cursed of GOD for a barren womb.  Now, it seems, we prefer a barren womb.  

Children have become something that we put on our trophy  shelves to brag on, or live vicariously through them.  When the size of our families became something we controlled in comparison to our bank statements, sadly, it seems the bank statements won out.  The Word of GOD calls children a blessing, a gift from GOD.  Back in the day, a family with a quiver full was what parents pursued and hoped for, but, these days, our contemporary society sees children as a burden if over the 2.5 average. I know that each time that pregnancy test popped up positive, I was elated, but my husband never was. I should have seen that as a sign, but he "went along" with the idea that children were a gift from GOD.  He "went along" with a lot of things said in church, but when the rubber hit the road, he split on a different road.

These days, we apply for debt, larger and larger, and avoid what GOD calls a gift from Him.  Even though, I still fully agree with my bold statement, far be it from me to advise any wife to use or not use birth control.   That is GOD's decision, and He gets what He wants and with whom.  Maybe He hasn't convicted most Christians because He knows He cannot trust them!  Just a thought.   But go with me for a moment.  

It wasn't all that long ago that birth control was illegal, and I'm not just referring in the Roman Catholic Church.  If you do a little history research on this, you'll find that statement to be true.   My mom  was a good Catholic, coming from a long line of them, and had six children. This was for a different reason, which I will write about some day.  Her grandparents popped out quite a few, also.  In my small town,  population, 30K or less, with two Roman Catholic churches, there were a great many families with five or more.  The neighbors across the street had nine, catercorner one way had six, and catercorner the other way had five.  On that small dead end street with only six houses, we filled up an entire school bus practically.  There wasn't a time of day when there weren't a dozen or so children out in the street playing.  It was a wonderful existence, because children were valued.  

A few years back, I heard a state rep say, "If we don't kill them now, we'll kill them later,"  when debating abortion in his state legislation.  He went on and on about how there are many children who just aren't wanted.  Only a demon living inside someone would say such a horrendous thing.  I then went to the gym and listened to my book on my kindle which spoke of how sacrificing children in a fire to a mythical god was considered completely normal.  The devil knew that would never fly these days, so what did he do but switch tactics and realized birth control was the answer.  He decided to make birth control not only acceptable, but preferred. 

 Again, I'm not advising women to throw their birth control apparatus out the window. The last thing this world needs is parents who don't want children.  My family is suffering from that now, being that their father never truly ever wanted any, and in the end, he ended up abandoning them.  What I'm saying is that abortion got its start from when birth-control became every day normal and accepted, to prevent unwanted children.  You see, children are just as much unwanted in Christian homes as in non-married, non-Christian homes, and you cannot deny it.  Two or three at the most is acceptable, but GOD-forbid we sacrifice our lush lifestyles, our big bank accounts and our big luxurious houses for more children in the home!  Christians apply for debt, but turn down what GOD says are gifts, rewards, our heritage.  We'd rather have the bigger bank account, or larger the estate, and less children to fight over the estate.  "Be fruitful and multiply," GOD said multiple times.  It was a command, not a suggestion.  The Christian church thinks that was through evangelism, which in my opinion is what is killing the church.  Man does everything wrong that GOD instituted, and evangelism isn't the exception to the rule.  

The question I was asked every time the rabbit died was, "How will you afford college?"  (If you don't know that euphemism, it's because you are too young.) My answer was the same. "If GOD wants them to go to college, He will do it, but it's our job to raise them to that age, only."  Now we know thirty years later that college turned out to be indoctrination stations.  I lost two of my children to the prodigal road at Christian colleges.  After that, I stopped pushing college and let GOD do His job.    I won't be leaving a huge bank roll to my children, just a legacy of loving Jesus and loving them, and giving them as many siblings as my body could pop out, at the risk of losing my life with seven cesarean sections. We lived below the poverty line for too many years, yet, the lights were never turned off, the roof over our head was replaced twice and the mortgage always got paid, even if it meant no big family trips to the latest jet-setting destinations.  Unfortunately, my offspring learned from their father, not their Godly mother. Sadly, I won't have a dining room table full of grandchildren running around it.  My point is still the same.  BIRTH CONTROL IS THE MOTHER OF ABORTION, so you Christians practicing birth control, in those anti-abortion protest, or calling those people murderers have no right to be there or flap your gums.