JESUS IS A CONSPIRACY THEIST

 Now, that got your attention, huh?  We  “conspiracy theorists” are so outside of the box of what is accepted by the general public, that we are seen as “trouble-makers who won’t go along with the status quo, or the narrative.  We are non-conformists, and there is nothing a Marxist government hates more than a non-conformer.  We don’t settle for “Just shut up and believe,” but we preach even louder. We become bolder, more heroic.  We have brains, some have really amazing brains to figure things out that are WAY over my sufficient-for-the task-brain.  This is very disturbing for the status quo media moguls, the ,globalists, elites, deep state, shadow government, evil Marxist, leftist, and anarchists. People with brains can spot a wolf in the sheep’s pen, no matter how sophisticated is the cover-up, and no matter how many wolves have snuck into the pen.   If you haven’t been living in a cave these past few months, you’ve probably heard of QAnon. 

So, for those of you who have been sheltering-in-place in your cave, I will tell you what QAnon is NOT. QAnon is not evil, self-seeking, violent organization, nor is it a cult.  In fact, if we Anons were accused of being in a cult, it would be the first of its kind, because Q teaches us to dig deeper, to investigate, to seek out new information, to research things out on our own until our eyes bleed.  That doesn’t sound like a mind-numbing cult to me. That sounds like the brain-child of Jesus.  Only Jesus could come up with something  so brilliant, so mind-stimulating, so far on the right that it could be called Biblical. 

Okay, for you church people who just got up on your feet, ready to condemn me, chill out and sit down, because I have some explaining to do.  You see, as some of you know, I have lived in the fiery furnace of affliction for the past decade.  I have had my heart stomped on so badly by those I love, like my  best friend of 20 year, two of them in fact, my  daughter, son, mother, husband, and another who shall remain nameless. (for now)  My heart is so torn, so damaged, barely beating, and the only way it has been kept on life-support is by having lived in the Bible, day and night, night and day, inside, outside and upside down.  I didn’t do it to accumulate a wealth of righteous knowledge or even become righteous, because that’s impossible.  I did it to stay alive.  When all this “writing” thing started for me eight years ago, I thought I was delusional, that GOD would not call me to be some kind of writer.  Yet, here I am, seven books later (eight if you count this blog) and still going, inspired by the Holy Spirit, not on the level of Scripture, but definitely through Scripture.  The Bible was my ventilator in a pandemic of abandonment.

So, having lived in the Bible, in particular the Old Testament stories, I learned everything I could about how GOD dealt with His people. I studied each major character and event.  I especially studied their mistakes.  History is played over and over, like a broken record, only the persons change.  I saw one very peculiar thing. GOD always repeats Himself, but in a bigly way the next time around. Early in my writing career, actually, I think it was summer of 2017, a particular verse jumped up off the page, and I totally did NOT understand why. It stuck there all this time, and I didn’t know why until conspiracy theorist became the next buzz word, trending in a negative way, because the devil is scared to death of us.   A few days ago, I was gently reminded, “Remember that day I showed you that verse ISAIAH 8?  Now do you get it?”   OH MY GOSH I surely did.   I LOVE how GOD works. It was what Q would call a three-year delta.  GOD will give us a dream or a verse or cause Divine Coincidences that mathematically and statistically could not be explained.  Sometimes, we don’t know for months or even years what that “clue” was or why. Then, just as Q taught me, “FUTURE PROVES THE PAST.”  

The saddest thing about the church is it’s waiting for the newspapers to match Bible prophecy, when really, it’s Bible prophecy eventually matches the trends, times and new.  We don’t see it, until AFTER it happens, then we say to GOD, “Oh, that’s what you meant by clearing Broadway in Nashville, closing ALL the bars for weeks.  Now, I get it.” Then, I couldn’t fathom it, or how He would do it, but it was clearly there in Isaiah.  I just assumed I read the wrong thing into it.

Before, Jesus,  GOD spoke through the prophets. The spirit would fall upon a prophet and he would give a message to GOD’s people who always ignored the prophet, wrote him off as a “conspiracy tin-foil-hat-wearing theorist.”   That prophet never fit in the narrative, he never fit in the Israeli box, because his prophecies were so far out there, and so “untimely.”  He was never popular, never liked, mostly all alone, and I dare say, never happy.  GOD hasn’t changed He is speaking through those very same prophets, a new message that the church has missed, because GOD hid it from them.

I’m going out on a limb here and going to assume that 90% of the people who call themselves Christians cannot  name all the major, minor, and unnamed prophets of the Old Testament, or  they couldn’t begin to tell the chronological order, to whom the prophet spoke, what were the circumstances, and what in the heck the prophecy meant, because GOD speaks in code.  Sometimes, the prophet didn’t even know what GOD meant when he had the prophet post a thread, or some crumbs!

When Jesus came here, he continued the work and practice of hiding life outside the box, the “conspiracies” as the Pharisees would have called them.  He spoke in parables. He told his disciples that the keys to the mysteries of the Kingdom of GOD was being given to them, but not to all.  They were mysteries then, and GOD hasn’t changed, He still operates in mysterious ways. Why is that?  Thousands of people who heard Jesus speak, listened to him, were affected by him in some way, were healed by him, or benefited by him in some shape or form. Yet,  after three and one half years, he only had about 120 dedicated followers, and only three at the foot of the cross at his most needy hour.   Now, if that was a contemporary church in the 21^st Century, it would have been considered a failed church plant, maybe even have closed its doors, because the church does things and expects huge results, bigly, because GOD is involved in the work, or is He? 

Actually, He really doesn’t need to be, because we’ve become so good at church planting, doing ALL the sowing and watering, weeding out those we don’t think fit the mold, ostracizing the tin-foil-hat wearers who want to know more, who want to know the inner workings and politics of the mega-church. We know how to plow the ground to get the field ready, and we’ve learned the best man-made-marketing tools to draw in the masses, spreading that seed pretty thin.  In no time, all our hard work has paid off, and we have  a harvest of thousands of converts who we refer to as sheeple,  worshiping all together. Our experiences, what we learned and farmer’s school (seminary) teaches us how to run and  build a corporation, disguised as a church or evangelicals. The church doesn’t need GOD, they have this covered. There are hundreds of theologians out there who have shared what worked for them and what didn’t, so we go on their theories, their man-made techniques.   If there’s a problem, or a national tragedy, well, then we are going to call on GOD and insist that He step in and fix what we cannot ourselves fix or heal, but other than that, we don’t need in our daily “burnt sacrifices,” at the Holy of holies. 

You know where I’m going with this, don’t you? 

 I bet you think I'm applying this church scenario to our personal lives, right? Well, NEWS FLASH, I wasn’t going there, because my readers should know by now, I never go where people expect I'm going, because if I did I wouldn't be that non-conformist, way-out-of-the-box-kind of writer, now would I? I like to give my readers credit for having a brain and being able to put that together themselves with a little thought process.  So, this is for you, the one outside the church box, the intelligent readers, the ones who dare to step out of the boat and walk on water.  Because, like I said, GOD always repeats Himself.  The difference here is it isn’t brick and mortar, it’s the Internet and the WWW.

I have to give you a brief, (yeah right), history lesson to tie QAnon in with what GOD is doing today, and how it fits in Old Testament prophecy and typology.  We are going to take a quick trip through 1 & 2 Kings in the briefest drive-by that I can give you.  Back in those days, the Jews were regular pains-in-the-butt when it came to loyalty to GOD only, doing worship, living out and offering the burnt sacrifices HIS prescribed way, only.  Those Israelites, between the period of 930 BCE and 539 BCE, thought adding a little man-made-additives to their worship, slipping it in, blending more in with the world wouldn’t hurt. GOD wouldn’t mind if we brought a few “friendly gods” into the Temple. What harm could they do, they were only statues of wood and stone. No biggie. 

To GOD, that was a biggie, and biggie NO!  He kept warning and pleading with them to return to the purity of complete dependence upon Him for everything, He did it through these dozens of prophets, not just the ones with book named after them, “DO it the way I told you, or I’m going to split you up and put you both in separate time-outs!”  That was the first warning to the last king of the united nation.  What do you think they did?  Just like regular children, when GOD counted, 1, 2, 3, (Saul, David, Solomon),  nothing. No running back to Him to learn the proper way, so a He split them up indeed, because GOD never fails to follow through on a promise.  A civil war ensued, much like the one we are in right now.  No guns, no canons, no military uniforms, no general, no military industrial complex, just a lot of infighting, uprising and anger back and forth between the twelve tribes, until finally, ten of the tribes decided to secede from the union.  

The ten tribes went north and occupied the area near Samaria, while the two remaining stuck it out in Jerusalem  where Solomon’s Temple was.  It was a grand Temple in all its splendor. It was GOD’s house, or so they thought.  It was kinda like the White House, only the high priests were sometimes terribly corrupt, and they led the people astray, because the kings who lived in the palace down the street,  were also terribly corrupt, and like the saying goes, “Where America goes, goes the world.”   Oh, I mean where king goes, goes the whole Jewish  nation.  There were some good kings in the southern kingdom called Judah, but there was nothing but corrupt politicians running the hall of congress in the Northern Kingdom which retain the name the Kingdom of America, oh, I mean Israel. 

(Time out, coffee break needed. Get your coffee and come back for Part 2  ) 

Dog and Cat Followers of Christ

      Recently, I have acquired a dog.  I didn't expect this, but GOD knew I needed her.  I have always had cats, but never really had a dog for any length of time,  because I had a husband who hated dogs.  The husband left a few years ago, and GOD brought me a dog, not just for company, but to help me heal and give me some teachable moments. So, now having had both, cats and dogs, I've noticed a parallel between cats and dogs and Christians.    

      Some dogs are easily excitable and not terribly obedient.  They pull on their leashes, trying to pull their masters in the direction they want to go. They will jump all over anyone new, or bark incessantly  with the intent to scare the snot out of people who are unfamiliar to them.  Too many dog owners do not know how to train their dogs or have breeds that are not easily trainable.  

      The Lord saw fit this time that I should have a purebred German Shepherd, which is the most trainable and some would say, the most intelligent of all the species.  This type of dog will cling to one person in the household and become that person's shadow, following wherever their master goes, wanting always to please their master. All day long, she lays at my feet, patiently waiting for me to give her my attention.  Regardless of the time of day or night, when I whisper her name, the ears go up, she rises and waits to hear what is coming next with her tail wagging. 

       Although, she tends to pull a bit on her leash on our walks, when reprimanded, will slow down and walk right by my side, in step with me.  When I do let her run ahead, it's in a controlled environment, and she happily runs, free and beautiful in her stride.  The moment she gets too far ahead of me, though, she stops on her own, looks back to see where I am, and waits for me to catch up with her.  I don't have to tell her to stop, she does it automatically so that I am always in sight and close. 

Beloved, are you starting to see the parallel?  We pull on the leash that GOD has put on us, trying to rush ahead of His plan or drag Him along with the path we want to take.  He pulls back on the choker-collar, but we pull all the more, because we want what we want, and we haven't learned the self-control of just walking by His side.  The harder we pull, the more strangulated we become, and still, we insist on having our own way.

 Sometimes, we jump all over new believers or visitors in our churches or people who show even the slightest interest in learning about Jesus. Many times, we end up clawing them unintentionally, and they back off, deciding it's not for them.  Sometimes, we will bark at non-believers, with the intent to scare the "hell" out of them by being all hellfire and brimstone, letting them know all that they are doing wrong.  Many times we even attack each other and create dog fight after dog fight among the brethren, because we are "different" species. 

When we are properly trained, and that takes time, we learn to walk right by GOD's side, waiting for the go ahead to run up ahead of Him, happily making ground in a beautiful stride.  When we know that we've gone far enough, we will stop, turn back and make sure that GOD is still with us, and we will seek His permission to proceed or just walk by His side again for more instruction.  

       We are loyal to our Master, and when GOD is not moving, or so it seems, we lay quietly at his feet, until He says, "Hey, you want to go somewhere with Me?" Like my wonderful dog, day or night, regardless of the time, if I even whisper her name, she is up and ready to listen to whatever it is that I am going to do, either invite her up onto my bed for some company, or just to pet her where she is.  Those ears are up, waiting to hear from me while she patiently just lays there.       

 

JUBILEE

 Cats, well, they are a different story. They know where the food is, they know who their owner is and they will stay with their owner, but they are going to do their own thing no matter what.  They have this attitude that we are there to serve them.  My cats are extremely stubborn and when they get mad, they will do their business in  the house and not their litter box to let me know they are unhappy, stinking up my whole house and further ruining my twenty year old carpets.  

Three times my Jubilee has run away from me, staying out for weeks at a time with me having no idea where he was.  The last time, he got mad about going to the vet and he freaked and jumped out of my arms, escaping and getting lost in a neighborhood miles from home.  By the miraculous hand of GOD, almost six months later, we found him in a neighborhood very far away with the help of a friend who was delivering Chinese food.  

 I thought he was gone for good, but all that time, GOD knew he would be back, and He had a lesson for me to learn. This time, he was thrilled to be back, having had to weather the climate from December to June all alone outside.  While he was gone, he was trapped, neutered and released back in the neighborhood he was caught.  (It's a local program here to cut down on stray feral cats, without destroying the ones roaming the streets.) 

CopyCat with her first PERFECT 7

 When he did come home, he was a much more docile cat, much more affectionate, and he hasn't run away since. He meows at my door when he wants attention, and is compliant when it comes to the cat box and using the great out doors to do his business. He is still somewhat impatient and stubborn, wanting his own way, but, will cower down if he knows he's in trouble for bullying his grandmother, CopyCat, or even the dog.  Sadly, since writing this, over two years ago, Jubilee's grandmother passed away in July of that year, and Jubilee disappeared again in June 2019.  My heart is broken, but it's just another of the things GOD puts us through, and we can either pull on the leach, or just give it a little slack, while the LORD shows us which way to go. 

Need I say more, beloved child of GOD?  Which kind of lover of Yeshua are we? Are we a non-neutered male cat, or a docile one, somewhat compliant, but still doing our own thing?  Or, are we an excitable dog wanting to run ahead of GOD, or scare the "hell" out of the person passing by on the sidewalk? 

        If we have been walking with GOD for long, and we are truly interested in letting GOD be our Lord, the we will become a purebred, like my precious German Shepherd, trainable, compliant and a pure joy to our Master.  

Paul's thorn in his flesh vs the knife in my back    

I think I may have won that one hand's down.  No one knows what the thorn was in Paul's flesh, but it affected his carnal nature, because whenever Paul talked about "flesh," he was always referring to our carnal nature.  He also wrote this  soon after writing Romans, and if you've read Roman chapter 7, you will find out just how human Paul was.  The church seems to forget that. So, take a moment, go read it, then come back.  ROMANS 7   

  I know pain, and I know it well, both kinds.  I don't have a thorn in my flesh, I have a knife in my back.  Life as a married widow!  It's a term I coined, defined as  married on paper only, in separate abodes, with NO hope of the marriage being resurrected. 

It's been so long, now. It was near six years ago, while going through radiation hell, having my throat burnt to a crisp since I first got stabbed in my heart through my back.  It was wedged in slowly, deeper and deeper until it reached my heart.  Once it hit my heart, I began to bleed out.  Because of Christ's cleansing, life-giving blood shed on the cross for me, I have been able to get a "transfusion" as many times as needed to survive, until the platelets built up to stop the hemorrhaging.  

 I'm not bleeding anymore, however, the knife is still there.  I've learned to adjust to it, sometimes it doesn't even hurt that much.  I've learned to sleep on my side fairly comfortably.  Most times, I can wake up enough, so that I can sit up if I have to roll over, however, there are times when I'm so worn out from trying to avoid bumping it on something, that I automatically roll over in my "sleep" and then it jabs my heart, again.  The blood trickles, and Jesus gives me more of his, but the pain is worsened for a time.  

Every once in a while, the devil will come by and twist it, just to cause me some more pain.  Sometimes, I can fight him off, but there are times when my hands are tied. I'm exhausted from the fight,  and I am defenseless on my own, until GOD sends help.  

Only GOD can remove the knife, no human can.  He has promised that one day it will be removed, and I will be stitched up good as new.  I will forever be permanently scarred though.  It's a good thing it is in my back and covered by my clothing.  It will forever be there, though, and every once in a while, I imagine I'll get an itch back there that needs scratching, and it's in a difficult area to reach.  

 I've had enough surgeries to know that when the nerve is cut into, the immediate area becomes numb permanently, so the itch will be a phantom itch, unrelieved by physical scratching, but just as itchy until the nerve settles down and it goes back to being numb. 

WHEN GOD HANGS YOU OUT TO DRY

Back in the day, before glass bottles and wine cellars, wine was kept in wine skins, animal hides.   When the wine skin was empty, it usually was hung in a corner to dry out.  The wine skins at one point held happiness in it, but now it was emptied, all used up, no longer representing glad tidings.  So, it's left hanging in a corner, forgotten, useless to man.  It's best day is over, or is it? When is the last time you have felt as if you were useless wine skins, hanging in the corner with no one paying any attention to you, as if you did not exist anymore?  Maybe right now? Your heart used to be so filled with the love of Jesus, so much so, that it spilled over and you shared it by pouring into other people.

Eventually, having poured out all the love you had in your heart, with no one is filling it back up with reciprocal love, it becomes a dried out, emptied.  Those you poured all the wine of your heart all over, gladly received it, but none wanted to return it.  Some even abused you because of it. You brought gladness, now, you have no more to give. We are left to ourselves, so alone, so isolated that we even start to think that GOD has also abandoned us.  We did as we were told.  We gave when we weren't asked to give.  We loved those who did not love us, but GOD had commanded us to love.  We did not strike back when struck by those we gave love to, we just assumed, like GOD's Word says, "It is mine to avenge."  So, we sat back and  waited, and we waited, and waited, and then we waited some more.  Time passed, more time passed, so much time that we gave up any hope of getting love back from those whom we so freely gave.  Days, weeks, months and in some cases years go by; no vengeance, no change of heart.

Next step is the obvious, that we  must have got it wrong.  GOD didn't really tell us to give love to that person, it must have been the enemy of GOD.  He must have set a trap for us, knowing a fall was imminent.  Total confusion sets in. We can't seem to hear correctly from GOD.  We question everything we did for the last few years, until we come to the conclusion that our purpose, our dream, our goal was completely wrong, all this time. We just wasted six years doing what we thought GOD led us to do, and now we have no goal, no dream, no real purpose, and definitely are of no use in the Kingdom of GOD, because we can't discern GOD's instructions from the devil's traps.

Now we have two choices, bolt and turn away from GOD, or cower in the corner, hoping GOD will see our bruises and heal them. Bolting is not an option, because we know that there is no life outside of GOD.  We cower, we cry, we plead, we beg, so much so that our eyes sting and become so swollen it changes our appearance, not just for a few minutes, but for days at a time.  GOD still hasn't noticed or healed our bruises, and we are bewildered. Sometimes, even reading the Bible is like pouring salt on our wounds.  We've read all the promises. We’ve written them, memorized them, taken them to heart, but yet to have seen them fulfilled. Now, they are just words, words that actually hurt, now, because you waited and waited and waited.

You know every crevice and corner and every promise that reside in the safe places of those beloved pages. Still, after a while, those familiar words are just that, just words. They don't carry any weight, anymore, because you never saw them come to pass as you hoped.  Now, that hope which used to bring joy, now just brings pain, because that hope, you now realize only led to disappointment, night after night after pillow-soaking night.   

No healing comes. Now what? Stop breathing? That's not an option.  Stop living? That's not an option. Start hating back? That's not an option.  Ah, numb the pain with some authentic mind-numbing medicinal wine of our own.  That works, for a while, until GOD says, "That wasn't an option, either, so Stop!"  Getting angry at GOD didn't work, and you surely did shake your fist way too many times. Then guilt sets in, especially when someone lays that You-have-no-right-to-be-angry-at-GOD, guilt trip on you. 

With no warning, when you aren't expecting it, when you've decided in your mind to give up, walk away from everything and everyone, after you've erased all your social media and decided to accept your fate as is, hoping the few years you may have left will pass quickly, one moment in time, one thing leads to another, and suddenly, you just happen upon a sermon on You Tube, and you discover that there is a corner you missed.  Even though you have read that Bible from cover to cover several dozens of times, GOD still has a surprise for you. There is a corner you missed, a stanza, a plea from a psalmist who has just lived your life, and is dying inside just like you are, right now.  You're exhausted, and you think you've exhausted the Word of GOD, until you realize, refreshment is where you weren't looking. Psalm 119 and Psalm 88 both have what I call a “Job’s Princess life.”  It’s a life of sorrow from start to what we think will be finish.

That's all it took.  Someone, knows what you feel like. GOD made sure that someone made it into His Word, because of this day.  He was going to refresh you and refill your wine skin with new wine.  It's just enough to draw you back to His Word to find more corners you didn't know were there. Then you realize, GOD not only saw your bruises, but He felt them, and He was just waiting for you to stop doing that mind-numbing activity that blocked His work in your life, and you are back.  At least until the next time, and you know there will be a next time, but like this time, next time He will again, bring you to a corner in His Word you didn't know existed.  Each time you learn to trust more and more, until such a time that you are ready to help those other dried out wine skins who feel left abandoned in the corners of their lives. 

Psalm 88

May my prayer come before you;
    turn your ear to my cry.

³ I am overwhelmed with troubles
    and my life draws near to death.
⁴ I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
    I am like one without strength.
⁵ I am set apart with the dead,
    like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
    who are cut off from your care.

⁶ You have put me in the lowest pit,
    in the darkest depths.
⁷ Your wrath lies heavily on me;
    you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.^[d]
8 You have taken from me my closest friends
    and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
⁹     my eyes are dim with grief.

I call to you, Lord, every day;
    I spread out my hands to you.
¹⁰ Do you show your wonders to the dead?
    Do their spirits rise up and praise you?
¹¹ Is your love declared in the grave,
    your faithfulness in Destruction^[e]?
¹² Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
    or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?

¹³ But I cry to you for help, Lord;
    in the morning my prayer comes before you.
¹⁴ Why, Lord, do you reject me
    and hide your face from me?

¹⁵ From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;
    I have borne your terrors and am in despair.
¹⁶ Your wrath has swept over me;
    your terrors have destroyed me.
¹⁷ All day long they surround me like a flood;
    they have completely engulfed me.
¹⁸ You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
    darkness is my closest friend.