GOD'S  Sovereignty

 vs  

Man's Sovereignty 

 Ecclesiastes 1:15

What is crooked cannot be straightened, and what is lacking cannot be counted.

Ecclesiastes 7:13

Consider the work of God, For who is able to straighten what He has bent?

The old argument of free will over GOD's selection has been something I have studied for the past ten years. I bet every prophet in the OT begged to be relieved of their duty. Jonah did, Jeremiah did, Amos did, but GOD wouldn't let them go their own way. I have begged to be let go of this path GOD has me on, and the answer has been no.

In a way there is a freedom in not having free will. I can't mess up GOD's plan with my own stubborn insistence of having things my way. If GOD has given a man the ability to choose free will over GOD's will, then that free will has become an idol, and that man never really belonged to GOD. If we choose to make good choices with our free will, then that free will of choosing the right thing can breed a pride in our heart that only GOD can see. On the other hand, the fact that I can neither choose my free will over GOD's plan or even choose to walk GOD's path, (because many times I've tried to leave). He has always pulled me back on this path against my own will. That is humbling, because He chose my path, I did not. I have not been given the free will to leave it. I didn't choose to follow GOD, He imposed Himself on me, because He has a plan that I do not know. He has a work for me to do that I cannot see. He sees the ending, I cannot see. He sees the person He will mold me into that I cannot see.

I have rested in the assurance that what GOD called me to, He WILL finish and there is no way a man's free will to say no could jeopardize that. It has been too hard of a walk, flooded with tears. If the Adonai I have worshiped, leaned on, and trusted, could leave the results into the hands of a man, there would be no use in perseverance. I have to trust that His plan and path is better than one I would have chosen. I have to trust that I will be deliriously happy in the end, because GOD had His way and I did not have mine.

David did not have a choice, Joseph did not have a choice. Saul did not have a choice on the road to Damascus. He was called, and there was no way of getting out of it. He didn't plan to go to Macedonia, but GOD put a man in his dream to beg Paul to come. GOD gave Joseph dreams of where to take Mary and Yeshua.

I have studied that OT, inside, outside, and upside down, and I see people who were called to a task, sometimes against their own will, and GOD kept them on that path. He has done that to me. He robbed me of my original dreams, and put new ones in my heart and "forced" me to want them. Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Those words "shall give" in Hebrew mean "set/put."

I have pleaded to get off this road because it was fraught with Noah's Flood's worth of tears. I wouldn't be here doing this if I could have had my own way. I couldn't resist His Grace in 1989 when I became born again. My testimony will prove that. Every child I had, GOD put that desire into my heart, until Max. After that, I did not want anymore. I even found myself pregnant at 48 years old, and I was mad. I didn't want another baby. When I found out that I miscarried, I was relieved, because I knew Max was last, because we named him Max because we reached our Max, and eight is enough! (pun intended).

Proverbs 19:21

Many plans are in a person’s heart, But the advice of the Lord will stand.

KJ21

Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.

Psalm 33:10

The Lord nullifies the plan of nations; He frustrates the plans of peoples.

I tried to quit so many times, because I stopped believing He was going to do something, because the evidence proved that, but He dragged me back in kicking and screaming. He has to be Sovereign even over a man's decisions or He wouldn't be the Almighty, Creator of the Universe. He has to have that right to be GOD. He has allowed us a certain amount of free will, but it is subject to His Sovereign plan. I have leaned on these verses to keep me going, knowing that GOD will put all the puzzle pieces where they belong when they belong there.

 Psalm 24 

The earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness, The world and those who dwell therein.

The Lord Considers the Heart

Proverbs 21:

The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord,  like the rivers of water;

He turns it wherever He wishes.

Here is how He taught me. GOD puts us on His Cruise Ship to Paradise and plans all the port stops along the way. We are free to move around the ship any place we want to go, even if that is a bad place. We will suffer the consequences, but we cannot jump ship. There are plenty of times man has thought GOD was leading him a certain way, and the end result was failure. It was the man who got it wrong, not GOD. Man's number one sin is pride, and it comes in all shapes and sizes, as well as resides in man's free will, to an extent.

Psalm 37:23 

The steps of a man are established by the LORD, and He delights in his way.

Job 42:2

 “I know that Thou canst do all things, And that no purpose of Thine can be thwarted.

Job 12:14

“To God belong wisdom and power;  counsel and understanding are his. What he tears down cannot be rebuilt;   those he imprisons cannot be released.

   Some Epics Are Hidden Away in Someone's Garage or Attic

   I found a blog post from a New York editor that said to step away from our manuscript for a while to get a fresh second look at it. I find that amusing, because GOD gave me an epic story, and I wrote it between 2013-2014. I then spent half of 2015 revising and editing. I shelved it when dual cancers became unwelcomed guests in our family, followed by divorce and a family shattered into shreds all over this country. There were other trauma's, and I just couldn't get back to it.

I know that GOD will use it mightily, however, I do not want it commercially published. I believe in what GOD gives us for free ought to be shared freely. I also do not want it to get out while I'm still breathing here, because success ruins almost everyone, and I would very easily fit into that category. Another reason is that when an epic is published and goes "viral," it then becomes about the author and not the work. I want LOVE'S MUSES to be what GOD intended it to be. I don't want myself to be here when He does it; that way, it will go wherever He planned on going by its own merit. This epic story could help people trying to recover from the traumas of their lives that set them back a few paces, and help them recover to an even better person they were before the trauma.

The story was written in 2013 and is about a country artist who inspired a kindergarten teacher to write a book about her life. She never intended it to go anywhere, because she was extremely shy, and it went viral right after a world crisis. Now, how is that for crazy. That is why I said GOD gave it to me, because I wrote about a world crisis SEVEN years before one began, and one this world has never experienced. It has humor, drama, intrigue, and love of fellow man, everything an epic should have. I take no credit for, it because there is no way I am talented enough to do such a thing. Here is my favorite quote from the series of five books:

"When you are proving to God that you want to be a success in His eyes only, then the brilliance of God will take your craft to new heights of genius you never even knew existed. You will be amazed at what He creates through you working your craft." #KatieLynnMoore.

Having had a professional tell me that it is indeed a wonderful story, verified what I already knew. It would give me peace knowing that I could have a good influence on some people, and help them in their despair, depression, and disillusionment in life, as that is how I've lived the past thirteen years.

 

Trapped Between the Past and  Hope Deferred for the Future. 

 She has created a prison for herself in her own mind, and the only key to open the prison doors, and on to freedom, is time, and yet it is this same time which is also her prison from which she cannot escape.   She lives in the natural looking back of what was, and in the Spiritual of what is to come.  The present doesn't seem to have any life of its own.  

The 80’s was the best decade, then the 90’s came and a slight slope downward had begun.  Life wasn’t just fun anymore; it was more work than fun.  It was doable, though, that was until May of 2006 when life took a deep dive downward.  She thought it was a temporary turn for the worse.  Everyone knows that good and bad times come and go, and neither is permanent.   She did not know that her partner had been dealt a fatal blow with that event of 2006.  She knew he was hit, but she never thought of it as terminal.  She tried to carry hope for both, because she knew Who was in ultimate control and He was a Benefactor, not an adversary.  She knew she had an adversary, and he was sly and brilliant, but she underestimated the damage he could do to her present and her future.  Her hopes were still high, and her trust was stable and sure. 

Hope kept getting more difficult to maintain with each hit from the adversary,  but again, she trusted in the GOD that she knew at that time.  Sadly, she was learning about Elohim from distorted sources.  Unexpectedly, the spring of 2012, was the genesis to the exodus of a life that had appeared to have no happy ending.  In an unlikely place, the true YHWH introduced himself to her in a most real, live, and burning bush way.  He gave her an assignment and promised her that she would succeed.  She had seen and come to know a completely different GOD of the universe from that day forward.  With that hope in her mind and her heart, she worked with vigor and vitality, all while the fires in the fiery furnace of affliction kept burning hotter and hotter. She knew this was God, refining the gold in her, and He gave her a road map as to the kind of woman He would build her to be.   

She was so full of life and hope, that she failed to notice that her partner did not have that same desire and hope, as a matter of fact, his hope for the future had a terminal disease which was about to enter both of their lives in the same year.   She saw this disease as just more weight to her words to help others in the future, while it was the anchor that was sinking her partner’s ship. 

She assumed she had enough hope in her to carry both of them into a wonderful future.  She was gravely mistaken.  Again, she had no idea at the power and ability of her adversary to fatally wound her partner, where even her optimism could not resuscitate life back into him.  He was losing the will to live and hope, and in 2014, it had gone completely and permanently.

As things continued to get worse, life continued its downward slope, with each year spiraling south with greater velocity. At every years’ beginning, she still knew and trusted in the Jehovah Jireh, because He was the great provider.  She believed that one day all the different kinds and colors of threads GOD had carefully weaved into her life would eventually fall into place,  creating a masterpiece tapestry of purpose.  She wanted the weight to her words bring Glory to GOD, hope to the despaired, clarity to the confused, and directions to Paradise for the lost. 

The problem that began to take even her strength and resolution down was the hope deferred of her heart living in the spiritual and mixed signals she was getting from her mind and body living in the ugly details and damning fact of reality.   The great divide was growing an ever-widening chasm that she could not transcend.  Every day she mourns the past when she was a magnificent dreamer, and all had appeared to be going well.  All during the day, Jehovah Rapha, the  GOD who heals teaches her more about Himself, reminding her of His power and ability to change everything in her life in a flash.  Every night ends the same way, though, another day had passed, and He did not do for her what He kept forcing into her heart to hope for against her own will.

 She is, however, grateful for the short periods of coolness under the shadow of His wings as moments of  respite from the fiery flames of the furnace of affliction. Sadly, the ugly truth is He hasn’t turned down the heat from the furnace, and the burns from the flames are  beginning to severely damage not only her, but the faith and trust she had always put in her Elohim, the creator of the universe and the Playwright of her life.  Her dream is still alive, only it's on life support, but we all know the GOD who resurrects that which cannot live on it's own and calls that with is not as if it were.  (Romans 4:17b )

And Go Round and Round and Round in the Circle Game 

Ecclesiastes 7:

10 Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?”

For it is not wise to ask such questions.

11 Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing

and benefits those who see the sun.

12 Wisdom is a shelter

as money is a shelter,

but the advantage of knowledge is this:

Wisdom preserves those who have it..

       My two youngest just got on the middle-high school bus. They love being back in school, and considering my situation, it's best. I'm not gonna lie, I positively HATE how my life turned out. It isn't even remotely close to what I had dreamed and hoped. I had no idea that those would be my best days. We were young and didn't know it. We were happy and didn't know it. We were poor as dirt and did know it, and it was hard popping out 5 babies in 10 years while homeschooling.  To go back to those days, is to lose ALL the wisdom gained through the years and tears that followed. I used to sing this song when I was a teenager, having NO idea the bitter sweetness of its truth.    Get your tissue box as you click on the link and listen. 

The Circle Game

      I'd go back to those days in a heart beat, if I could live them over differently. That's not how life works, though. My life turned out so awful from my perspective, but I thought it was awful then, too.  Of course, that's what I think now, but when it's over for good, I'll say,  "Those were my treasured days when My Maker was my Husband. And, oh, what a sweet and wonderful, magnificent husband He has been." These may be the closest I ever get to GOD, I don't know, but He is in my every thought, now, and He wasn't then.  

Isaiah 54: “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.

Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.

You will forget the shame of your youth

and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

5 For your Maker is your husband—

the Lord Almighty is his name—

the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;

he is called the God of all the earth.

6 The Lord will call you back

as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—

a wife who married young,

only to be rejected,” says your God.

7 “For a brief moment I abandoned you,

but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

8 In a surge of anger

I hid my face from you for a moment,

but with everlasting kindness

I will have compassion on you,”

says the Lord your Redeemer.

 

Sometimes Insomnia is From That Dreaded Menopause, Other Times, It's Class Time with GOD.

     First, GOD opens my spiritual eyes to a truth inside His Word but outside the church box. Second, He gives me the faith to believe it is from Him directly, because He proves that it fits historically, and how it reflex His character and tradition from the OT stories and heroes.  Hence, enter the "GOLIATH" What did Goliath do? He challenged the army of the LORD. He used his great height, might, fortitude and military training to intimidate the soldiers. 

     Here is the key, he let his "history" testify to his odds at winning in battle against any Israelite Soldier. There was another who did that and drowned Judah with fear, including the King. Who was that? What did he do? He used his historical military triumphs to invoke fear and take Judah's eyes off what the LORD had been constantly teaching them outside the "church" box for even then. Who was it? Sennacherib. 

     What did the King of Judah do? He laid prostate before the LORD and showed the threats to the LORD at the Temple. Because King  Hezekiah took his fear to the proper place, GOD answered Sennacherib and let him know just Who granted him his past victories. He also prophesied about Sennacherib future and demise at the hand of his own sons.  That's what GOD calls putting a hook in the nose of the arrogant who refuse to give credit Where credit is due. The answer came directly from GOD through the prophet Isaiah, one of GOD"s greatest.

     

     Likewise, GOD isolated David from his brothers who lived out their father's traditions. GOD watched over David while he was the rejected brother. All of that isolation taught David to hear only the voice of YHWH instead of paying more attention to tradition and history. Why was he rejected? Many Rabbinic teachings suggest that David wasn't a full bred of Jesse and his wife, and that was why he wasn't invited to the original dinner with the Seer Samuel. They teach he may have been the son of a harlot, concubine, or even adulterous affair of Jesse's wife. He was thought of as a second-hand son. He was number EIGHT. What does the number eight mean? New beginnings.

     Here's the point. GOD will choose a person. He will watch over that rejected person and open his/her eyes to teachings that surpass tradition and aren't limited to the church box. Then GOD will give that person a Supernatural faith like He gave to David to believe that GOD will do it. While that man/woman of faith is waiting for GOD to do what He showed his unspoken hero just what He can and said He will do with him/her, history, tradition, and naysayers scream into the ears of the woman or man of Supernatural faith, and that hero starts listening more to the naysayers.  He/she then will start to focus on his/her previous history and how nothing that great ever happened to or for or from them before like that, and he/she loses his or her faith that he or she was chosen for anything.

     Does this describe you? Likely, not, because most of you all are happily and soundly sleeping, while we ADHD'ers are up in the middle of the night, not able to sleep, because GOD has another lesson from His Seminary for us.  Too many people will settle for mediocre because it's comfortable, or they don't want to look like a freak  Like Terah, Abram's father, they are okay with "settling in Haran," halfway to the destination.  After that, GOD passes the torch on to another, who He knows will complete the journey.  The rest of the way is the most arduous part of the journey.  It's the road less traveled.  

     The Valley of Achor is what is between us and the promise land, and there's not a more depressing place than the Valley of Achor.  That's when GOD has to step in and give us a push.  There are very few of us fearful/doubting "Biblical" heroes out there. Time and tradition and the naysayers of the world chase us off path on to a  battlefield, and we put on Saul's Armor, until we realize, Saul's armor doesn't fit us.

Isn't  GOD  Pro-Choice?

      For as much as you are not going to agree with me on this,  as a devoted lover of Yeshua, student of the Whole Counsel of GOD, and faithful servant of the Most High, in the Abortions debate, I am most assuredly pro-choice because YHVH is pro-choice. Point number 1: GOD put the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil INSIDE the Garden of Eden and gave Adam the choice, hence GOD is pro-choice. He wants us to choose the right path. Deuteronomy 28 supports this. GOD wanted his people to choose to obey, and he gave the consequences of obedience versus disobedience. 

     2. Every human created with a brain has a soul. As a woman who has had four miscarriages, I'm well aware that the brain is formed around week five after conception. What I lost was had no brain, because they were too early, yet there was "tissue" there. So, life does begin as conception, but it doesn't always survive. You may call that a weak argument, but thousands of processes have to occur for this to happen. That's why miscarriages are so prevalent. I birthed 8 children, but I had 4 miscarriages, so that is a 50% ratio. That's pretty high. Any abortion done before the brain forms may or may not have been a viable life anyway. (Weak argument, I know, but only GOD knows.) GOD's tests the heart, not the actions. 

    3. Who are having abortions? Is it loving Christian women? I dare say not. GOD told his servants to completely annihilate the Canaanites because of their evil practices. If those types of women had those babies, would they be loved completely? Maybe, maybe not. Would they grow up to become Christians? Maybe, maybe not. The likelihood is about 10% of them. Hence, nine out of ten of those babies born to secular mothers would likely perish. I can safely use that figure because I grew up in a secular family and out of six children, I was the only one called and born-again. I am not just talking my nuclear family but grandparents on both sides, plus aunts, uncles and cousins. I am the only lover of Jesus, and have been for 33 years. 

     This leads to point number 4. Why did GOD have His servants annihilate entire nations, including women, children and babies? 1 Samuel 15:3. Did GOD wipe out women, children, infants, and pregnant women at Sodom and Gomorrah, and at Jericho? Yes, He did. Why? Because those children would have grown up to become just like their child-sacrificing, pagan parents, because their parents did, and so on and so forth. So, when GOD wiped the children and infants out, He saved their souls. Are you following me here? Where do these babies go who are aborted who have souls? They go straight to the Father's arms, 100% of them. So, maybe GOD allows abortion in order to save souls. (Romans 8:28) 

     GOD sometimes allows sin to occur if in the end it brings about a good outcome, example, David and Bathsheba - Solomon and the Temple. He doesn't approve of it, but by His Sovereign will, He allows it. Consider the numbers. If say five people plus the mother are involved in a typical abortion, (Nurses, doctors, receptionist, office manager..,) it's likely that five out of those six people will likely end up in hell, whereas the 100% of the babies end up in the Father's arms. 

     LAST and most important point, the anti-abortion movement has become a Jericho's wall, a hill to die on, and sadly those dying are those outside of the church, because this hill and wall is nothing more than combative Christianity. It is keeping unbelievers out of the church, and church people behind their self-built anti-abortion-Jericho's wall.  Yes we are fighting for life, but that's not how the lost see it. As one who was saved at twenty-six and was very much a progressive feminist who was very much pro-choice/abortion then, I can tell you, Satan has filters on their hearts and souls to only see this as combative and hateful Christianity. I went from pro-abortion to anti-birth control.  Only GOD can change a heart that much. The Holy Spirit must come into a heart for it to be able to defeat the filter the enemy has put there to block the Gospel. How many women come to the LORD out of guilt for what they had done? There is the Holy Spirit at work. Again, GOD allowed sin to save a soul. 

     With all this said, the sale of fetus parts is abhorring and an abomination, and those who do this will be called to account. Yet, my arguments are more about the souls of these babies and where they end up, because isn't that what matters more? This life is fraught with pain, (Job 14) and those babies are being spared all that hurt.  It's not about being born, it's about where we end up when we die. Ecclesiastes 4:2. Even Solomon said, blessed are those who are never born. I was born into a horrible family and suffered emotional pain that is indescribable and still am and I am 58 years old. Even my husband bailed on our marriage after 36 years and ten times vowing to remain faithful to GOD, me, and his children. 

     You may think my arguments are weak, however, I don't think like normal people. I think in a different plane. Isaiah 55:8-9. I try to see things from GOD's point of view, and we all know that GOD's point of view is usually opposite of sinful man's point of view.

The BEST Dream I have Ever Had.

    I once had this awesome dream. I had asked God one day what it was like those last day between death waiting for New Life. It was shortly after my mother died, and I don't remember if that it was that night or shortly thereafter, but I had a dream. I was laying in a bed. My family was all around me. I was "dreaming" and in this blank space, or so I thought I was dreaming. I was attached to a bed by my sleeve. I heard myself breathing loudly. That breathing was tethering me to that bed. I heard a man whisper in my left ear. "You can go now, Kristina."

    Then, a man started walking to me in this empty space where I was anchored to the bed. We didn't speak, but our spirits spoke to each other. I asked him, "Is it time to go now?" He nodded his head. I knew that total peace awaited me, and I was excited to go. Then, I looked up at the bed because I did not know how to detach myself. I asked him "What do I do?"

    He said, "You just stop breathing, because you aren't going to need that where we are going."

    I said, "Okay, but how do I do that?"

    He said, "Any way you want."

    I understood and I looked up at the people around my bed. I thought about it. I took one long deep breath. Everyone sat up and looked at me, and I saw them, and felt so sorry for them, because they didn't know it was my last breath, that there would not be another one coming. So, I let the air out really slow. They all stared at me me waiting to see if there was another one coming. I was sad for them, because I knew the crying would begin then. I looked at the man in front of me, and he turned and started walking away, so I gave them one last glance, and then I followed after him.

    Immediately, I woke up from that dream. It was so real, and I thought, We won't be breathing in heaven. We won't need our lungs. It was then that I knew God sent me that dream. Ever since then, I have wanted to go. I can't though, I have to finish my work here.

    As a cancer survivor from a very rare cancer, I know cancer lies dormant in my body, waiting to make its reappearance. My days are winding down, and I quite look forward to the end, because, the only scars in heaven are the ones holding me right now as I keep breathing here with the scars on my face; and on my heart.

I hope you enjoy this song, as it is so true. We don't have enough time with the ones we love, and we only know that after they are gone.

The Only Scars in Heaven

By Casting Crowns

 “Just Because” LOVE

    As some of you all know, I’ve been through the wringer all my life. It’s been one trial after another. I’ve had an experience where I got a tiny sip of the pure overwhelming love that comes from GOD in heaven. I’ve tasted that joy that can’t be described in words. I’ve felt every cell in my body light up just in His Presence, the couple of times that it has happened to me. I want it, and I want it, now.

    All my life, I’ve been the little girl who nobody loved, or so I saw that in myself. I was the black sheep of the family, the one they always blamed. I was the controversial one, the troublemaker, they said. I grew up in a very secular home where Jesus was surely NOT present, so of all six of us, who did Jesus pick to be the first to experience his encompassing love? Why me, of course. My mother was rougher around the edges than I am, if you can believe that. She did some horrible things because she was not in control of all her faculties. She had a mean streak, and a tongue that could slice leather if she was mad at the leather. 

    She loved me because I was her daughter, and that’s it. There was nothing about me that she loved, and she made that evident. My father loved me because I was his daughter, and the only one of the six who maintained contact with him all my life. The others have been estranged for over forty years. So, his is a grateful love. My siblings love me, because my mother drilled it into us that friends come and go, but your family is for life. So, theirs is an obligatory love because my mother told them they had to love me. She told them a lot of other things, that were counterintuitive, but she stressed obligatory love for family.

    My children love me because I’m their mother and I take care of their needs. My husband only loved what I could do for him during our thirty-year marriage. Whenever I asked him why he loved me, he couldn’t come up with a good reason except, “Because you’re a good woman.” In thirty years, that was the only nice thing my husband ever said to or about me. Most of the time, he drilled it into my head all the reasons why people did NOT like me. There is a love that is so pure that it can only come from One Place. 

    There was one person however, who loved me just because. It was pure, it was wonderful, and it had no other reason then just because. That was my Nana. That love died when she did sixteen years ago. Hence, I’ve lived without that “just because love” all these years, and let me tell you, life isn’t worth living unless there is someone who loves you “just because.” Yet, in all that, I’ve loved everyone in my life just because. I never understood why, because many were so mean to me, but I could never stop loving them just because. GOD put that love in my heart, I take no credit.

    As a cancer survivor, I am always on the lookout for my “ticket Home,” as I call it. I can’t take life loving just because and not having any “just because” love back. Someone asked me if all I needed was "just because" love to fight cancer for a second time, and why just that: 

   My answer was unequivocally. “Yes, "JUST BECAUSE.”