When GOD won't let go, even if you beg Him.

     Sometimes, GOD will show you something in a person that only you can see, because GOD showed it to only you. He will give you Scripture after Scripture and Divine Coincidence after Divine Coincidence to prove it to you. You may have to wait upwards of 9 years, 7 month, and 29 days, but the LORD will strengthen you, even when you beg Him to stop teasing you with hope deferred, (Proverbs 13:12).

    He won't stop telling you to wait, to hold on, and to believe. He will give you glimpses of the heart of a man that only He sees, but He will allow you to watch the storms that will come along and submerge that man under the weight of pain and confusion. Most men don't know how to deal with devastating pain or fear. They cannot process it, so they will act out in completely opposite ways of the Godly character you saw in him. David hid behind his fear for 16 months in the land of the Philistines, working for the enemy, and also deceiving them. (1 Samuel 27) Sometimes, GOD will let you give up thousands of times, then slap another event that screams of synchronicity on you when you aren't looking for one anymore.  

   The verse Psalm 37:4, Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart, is properly translated in the Hebrew as "Delight yourself in the LORD, and He would put/set the desires of you heart. The Hebrew NATAN, for shall give really means put, set. (Philippians 2:13 Proverbs 21:1, Isaiah 46:10-11) I have a whole notebook of these types of verses on GOD’s Sovereignty. Do not believe people who will discourage you with the words, "Man has his own freewill," because in cases where GOD has already planned to do something through a man, that man’s freewill is limited to GOD’s Sovereignty. Sure, GOD will allow that man to fall below any level he thought he could, but GOD has a purpose in sin, also. GOD allows sin so we can understand His Amazing Grace. GOD will use that sin to refine the man and bring him closer to Himself. The hell is in the waiting, but you will see the Mighty Hand of GOD in ways that barely a person alive has seen. I constantly beg GOD to leave me be in my despair, because the overwhelming circumstantial evidence is just that, circumstantial. It would not hold up in court, nor will it convict a man, pun intended.

    I know that only YHVH GOD and I understand these signs and Scriptures, but isn't that just how He works, individually, communicating in ways that only His beloved will understand? That's how faith works. Sometimes the miracle GOD wants to prove to us is coming regardless a person's Godly or ungodly behavior. Sometimes,  that heart like David is hiding behind a Jericho wall-sized pain. It doesn't matter how many times we ourselves give up, if GOD has ordained it, nothing will stop it. GOD will let us fall into states of utter despair just to show us His comforting power and His faithfulness to us when no other human will be faithful.  Even if we get something completely wrong, our faithfulness to GOD will never go unnoticed or unrewarded if we just keep sticking it out to live in His perfect will, whether or not it's a happy place or a fiery furnace of affliction, still burning the dross out of us.