Me, Myself, and I AM

You know, when you have no one to talk to because no one wants to listen to your babbling, so you talk to yourself, a lot. You'll be having a nice conversation up there in your head, and the whole time GOD is eavesdropping on the conversation. So, then one of you will bring up a topic or question, then GOD will subtly butt in and put a suggestion/answer there. So, your other self says,

"Hey where did that come from?" And yourself says,

"Not me, that's way too brilliant." Then you hear a slight,

"Duh!" because GOD has a great sense of humor.

So yeah, that's where I get all my info and wisdom and insight which is WAY over my head. Pun not intended, well, maybe intended a little.

If you find yourself isolated through no fault of you own, consider that GOD wants you to have a conversation with yourself so He can interject. That's how it works. Now mind you, anything that GOD can interject, so can the adversary's minions assigned to you to defeat you. So make sure it lines up with the Whole Counsel of GOD as well as the Character of GOD.

You may want to hold it in for a while. One thing about GOD, He absolutely confirms something He gives you one or more times, so wait it out. How do you know it's really from GOD and not something you made up or wished? It won't appeal to the flesh, your carnal nature or your ego. It will likely be something no one else would want to do, or it may seem somewhat illogical. That's GOD. He is illogical. We all have a little Spock (star trek) living in us, but we must all be Captain Kirk's and go where no man has gone before.

 RIZPAH AND OTHER UNKNOWNS (Part 1)

     As a nobody author, to which I hope to remain until the end of my days here, I think some other Biblical nobodies need some attention paid to them.  Let me give you an example of some Biblical nobodies. Well, first there's Ruth. Wait, you say she's not a nobody?  Well, my friends, she certainly was during her days on this earth.  She was an ordinary Moabite who married an ordinary Israelite man who died an ordinary death. She was married to an ordinary (disobedient)  man for ten years, and oddly enough, she never had a child nor did her sister-in-law Orpah.  How is it that neither of them had a child with their husbands those ten years?  That is the Sovereignty of GOD.  He decides who does and who does not and when and where.  I have learned the hard way in this life, we can never fight the Sovereign choice of God and win.  Ruth lived an ordinary life in the town of ordinary Bethlehem, at the time, and she died having no idea that a great grandson of hers would come to be known as the greatest king of Israel for all times and predecessor to the King of Kings.  

    I am an ordinary woman, a "slave" to my Master, and there's no getting out of His will for my life.  His Sovereign will for my life is likely to die as a nobody, to which I am grateful.  Yet, after I'm gone, if He wants to take my work and make it world famous, well that's up to His Sovereign will, not mine.  While I'm here, I hope that maybe I can inspire other nobodies on to greater works for the good of mankind and the Kingdom of GOD.  Ruth died a nobody, but now she's renowned the world over for 3,000 plus years and will for all eternity. 

     So, who is the nobody in the picture you ask? It doesn't look like anyone you know  or any story you've read?  That is because her story is seemingly so insignificant and  buried away in 2 Samuel 21, yet, she got the attention of a king and was ultimately responsible for a 450 year-old promise being fulfilled.  I spent thirty years in church, studying the Bible, and throughout all those years in women's Bible studies, not once did I learn about dear Rizpah.  It wasn't until GOD isolated me and took me out of the church, silencing all the voices and naysayers in my life that He taught me the truths of the Bible that go ignored by the majority of the Christian church.  Rizpah is surely one truth that needs a lot more publicity.  Maybe we can make her famous together.  I learned all about Rizpah listening to one of my favorite preachers, the Scottish preacher David Legge.  (Little Women: Rizpah).  There are no words strong enough in the English language that I can use to encourage you all to listen to this amazing lesson of  the most ignored woman in the Bible. I cannot do this woman justice in this short post, not like Pastor David Legge did in his amazing sermon.  This sermon/story profoundly affected me ever since I heard her story and contemplated her life. What an absolute inspiration she is and should be to all of us who know all-consuming grief. 

  

   To be brief, which a writer finds almost impossible, Rizpah was a concubine of King Saul who was impregnated by not only the king, but one of his loyal men in his administration.  The poor dear was allegedly raped and gave birth to two sons.  That's just the beginning of her sad life.  On that note, women in those days really had it bad, because they were subject to man's sexual appetite only, for the most part.  Once a man took a concubine, love was simply out of the question at that point.  They had no hope for a happy life.  Back to Rizpah, she was the victim of grief unsurpassed by most women.  The time was a famine during King David's reign.  Back then, a famine usually meant GOD's displeasure with His people.  King David sought the advice from GOD's prophet who told him that his predecessor broke a 450 year old treaty with the Gibeonites.  So, the King being the honorable man he was sought out the King of Gibeonites and asked what it was that they wanted in return, and their answer was blood for blood.  They wanted King Saul's sons be put to death, and sadly, that included two of Rizpah's sons.  You can read the story here. Gibeonites avenged to Rizphah's grief.  

   

   To understand what Rizpah did, one would have to understand that the lowest and most shameful thing that could happen to an Israelite at that time was to die and have one's remains rotting in the open air and eaten by the scavengers of the air. It was bad enough that she lost her sons, but she was not going to let them suffer the additional shame.  Honor and shame were utmost in that society, even more than life itself.  Rizpah took a sackcloth, and kept vigil for five months, never leaving her son's corpses to the birds of the air. Imagine the smell of those rotting corpses, yet, she remained devoted to their honor.  Again, I cannot do this story justice, but Pastor David Legge is the one who pointed this story out to me after thirty years of studying the Bible.  She guarded them until King David had heard of her devotion.  It was then that he remember that the bones of King Saul and Jonathan had not been given a proper burial, so he saw to it that their remains along with the other seven sons of Saul were given the proper burial due them.  I cannot stress enough how huge was the act of devotion Rizpah demonstrated, enough so a king would hear of it and be ashamed himself of his own actions.  I'm not going to get into whether David should have given over King Saul's sons or not, what I am trying to emphasize here is the devotion of one unknown Biblical figure who sat watch over her son's corpses for five months, never leaving them. 

    My point here is that there are so many Biblical heroes in the Bible that we never heard about, and so many people who as unknowns did the unthinkable and moved the hearts of the people who could do something to remedy a matter.  I understand Rizpah's devotion to a cause, as I have been "sitting on a sackcloth" for up to twelve years, waiting for the time that GOD moves on someone's heart to act in a life-changing way that will not just bring honor to their name, but build the Kingdom of GOD in the manner to which GOD has ordained for them since before the creation of the world.  That is why Rizpah is such an inspiration to me.  I will remain on my "sackcloth" until I can move the heart of the King of Kings, and hopefully my devotion will spur others on to greater heights of honor and nobility. The Bible is a treasure chest full of such unknown stories and heroes, and I hope that maybe I have inspired you to go in search of such unsung heroes.  In an earlier post, I  wrote about the jewels in the Old Testament, The Bible As a Treasure Chest because frankly, if one doesn't seek out its treasures, then one is only operating one's spiritual life on two cylinders as opposed to the eight we could be operating with, thus getting to know more about our Creator and Savior on a personal level instead of just the stories we've known and maybe misunderstood without their proper context.  

NO LEPERS NEED APPLY

(Addendum: It's another recycled, edited blog post from my first Blog which was back in early 2017)

     I once knew this really fabulous on-line pastor. He was retired, but he speaks once in a while, does weddings and funerals. He lives in Texas. He has known me for about a year now.  He knows my entire story, because he has read every single word I have written. He said that my blogs stretched him and his faith, and cause him to think so much deeper theologically.  He is there during every dark night of the soul, when hope deferred has me so low, I can barely get out of bed. He celebrated with me when I have some kind of victory. He prays with me. He is a happily married man, several decades, a father and grandfather, and never ever once spoke or said anything inappropriate to me.

  About eight years ago,  I stopped going to church, and I have no intention of ever going back. I'm divorced now, against my will, but I might as well be a leper because no one wants me around anymore. Back when I was married and popping out babies, my husband and brewed of eight showed up we got the huge welcome hugs.  Now, even if they don't try or do deny it, church people and pastors, in general, avoid the divorced wife, the rejected abandoned ones.  Not all are like that, but tell me, is some happily married pastor who has been married 25, 40, even 60 years going to tell me how it feels to be divorced against his will, or how he recovered?  Is he going to be able to tell me what it's like to have a houseful children living below the poverty line while homeschooling and popping out five babies in ten years? Maybe he can tell me how it feels when an adult child becomes estranged, or two, or three?  Some can tell me how they got through cancer, but rare is the one who had dual cancers in their homes, well at least it was that way before the VAX!  Yes, I just said that. 

       I fought off cancer, ALONE, driving myself to my cancer treatments, even having to take a bus when I couldn't drive, anymore. This was six months after I nursed my husband through his.  Smack dab in the middle of radiation hell, which I had to travel to and bear all alone, my husband told me that when my cancer treatments were done he was going to file for divorce. The congregation which we attended until then didn't even know I had cancer, because the Sr. pastor hid it from them. He hid it from the elders and even his wife. He knew we were having marital problems and he just plain did not like me.  He even told me no pastor liked me.  He did the pastor duties when my husband had cancer surgery, but wouldn't lift a finger to even dial the phone to check on me for the three months of hell. Maybe Pastors don't like me because I know more of the Bible and church history than they do, I really don't know.   Maybe because I am a Yankee and a bit forthright and I ask questions they can't answer, because what they learned in seminary was how to run a business under the guise of evangelism. 

    Maybe because of my thirst for all things Biblical is too radical, too intimidating, or just too out of the norm for today's average church member, I don't know why. Maybe because I am an abandoned rejected wife. They claim not to treat divorced people different, but they do, they surely do. Maybe it's because I dream big and felt a great calling on my life from an extraordinary encounter with God that lit me up like never before, twelve years ago. Since my calling, around the clock, I have studied, written books prayed, and written two blogs. I've cried a Noah's flood's worth of tears, prayed and fasted while trying to raise a Godly family, for the most part all alone. We tell our congregates to shoot for the stars, but when they do, what do we secretly  think, "Who does she think she is, writing books and two blogs. God couldn't want or do anything with her, after all, even her own husband doesn't want her."  You see, the people most opposed to someone who wants to do a great work for the Lord, is her brothers and sisters sitting in the next pew.  I don't understand why people are so opposed to someone close to them who aspires to do all that the Lord had called her to do. I am assuming it's because I am not only just a woman, but a rejected one. Surely, God wouldn't use someone so broken and covered with warts as her. After, all, how is that going to make the church look to world with a spokesperson like her. We can't let the world see a "leper" as His vehicle to reach other broken lepers. It's better they have a better model to aspire to becoming.  

     May I present the notion that a "modern-day-leper" is the perfect choice for God to use to reach other disillusioned broken lepers. It's a radical idea, but I do believe Jesus was pretty radical in his approach, which went completely against the religious right. Unfortunately, the slick and well-put-together Christian church slipped right back into that model as a modern day Sanhedrin. Man tends to corrupt all of GOD's work, and just like man corrupted what Moses intended, he also corrupted what Jesus came to do, which was to teach the Torah and be the Passover Lamb. I wouldn't be surprised if GOD does something completely radical and different in His approach to getting out the Gospel in these last days' harvest. I'm not talking flashy, spot-light show, concerts disguised as church worship services. I am talking one broken heart reaching out and loving another broken heart and aiding in the heeling with the weight to their words. Gone are the days of the model family, the "lepers" are in town, and GOD is going to raise them up.  They are hidden, ignored, pushed off to the corners, welcome, but avoided, nonetheless. GOD will use a former drunk to bring in his current drunk friends, the recovering drug addicts to bring in their current friends who are addicts suffering and lost, and believe it or not, gay people who love Jesus to bring in their friends to the the good news of the Gospel.  

     Yes, the polished, refined church may find it repulsive to even suggest such a thing, but I think we have plenty of Biblical examples to prove that GOD can and does use broken people with messed up heads and hearts. Polygamy and forms or "incest" were just as repulsive in the Patriarchal system to GOD, yet, He used them. The greatest example being Tamar, the daughter-in-law of Judah who thought she was a prostitute just making her dollar a day.  She most certainly knew that a son from that line was due her, and if he was not going to give her the third son as a husband, she was going to get a son straight from the original source. Her son is in the line leading to Jesus.  Abram married his half-sister, Sarai and we get Isaac, the son of the promise. Isaac married his first cousin Rebekkah, and from them we get Israel/Jacob.  Jacob had not one but two wives and two concubines. And what of Solomon?  It was the 2nd son of two former adulterers who built GOD's holy Temple, yet with 700 concubines and 300 wives, the Bible says that when he died, he rested with his fathers.  How about that King Manasseh, one of the most evil, barbaric cruel disobedient kings, who sacrificed his children, but was later restored after he truly repented and changed his ways. Even King Ahab got a couple of extra chances when Elijah put the fear of GOD in him.  It didn't stay, but GOD relented for a few years and gave him a few more than he should have had.   

 We rejects have a powerful testimony, we've been broken, battered, bruised, and have grown some pretty tough callouses.  Compassion and Agape love are gifts from GOD, but empathy is earned, and the hurting one  needs one who hurt in the same way, rather than the model family who wants to portray a certain type of cookie-cutter Christianity. There was nothing pretty about a flogged and beaten Jesus hanging on the Cross, taking on the ugly sins of the world, so our debts could be paid in full.   Well, that's my rant for now, maybe someday I will be of some good use, I'll never stop trying to reach out to the broken, despaired, depressed, disillusioned, discouraged, and the dissident from cookie-cutter Christianity.  

    

Anger, Fear, and Greatness

When people get mad at us, it's usually for one of two reasons. Usually, the person is guilty as all hell, and they can't stand the idea of getting caught in their malice. On the other hand, every once in a while, someone will get really angry at us because they know we are right about them, and we just hit a sensitive spot they can't face or won't admit. Sometimes, there is greatness in that person, and they hide from that greatness, not because they hate it, but because they are afraid of it. They are afraid of stepping out in that greatness because they are afraid of failing.

The problem with that is that they don't understand that "failure is the flour in humble pie that GOD uses for their stepping stones to success!" Yes, I made that up, or rather maybe it was inspired by God Himself. Maybe I have a lifetime's supply of that flour of failure, and GOD is using it to keep me humble, lest I think too much of myself. After all, that kind of greatness comes from GOD, and we humans tend to forget that! Then there is another reason they get angry and lash out. Sometimes, they don't know there is greatness in them, and they feel unworthy of that person who received their wrath. Sometimes, they are afraid of failing that person or worse, failing God. They don't seem to understand the conviction of the person who believes in them.

Sometimes, in their past, they were traumatized by other people who weren't honest with them. They likely manipulated them with kind words of affirmation to get from them all they could get and then dumped them. Those words of affirmation weren't sincere, they were selfish and self-serving. We can never fail a person who truly believes in us with that much conviction, a conviction and convincing that comes from GOD. There is another thing that they don't understand. There are evil forces working against them, because the devil also sees that greatness and sends his legions of minions to attempt to defeat that person. The devil can never defeat one who is made great by GOD, and we surely never fail GOD because He knows every mistake we will make. After all, He wrote those mistakes in our lives because failure is the flour in the humble pie He shoves down our throats while He takes us on the steps of success.

There is only one way to achieve that greatness, and that is by GOD's Supernatural Hand and in His Perfect timing. If we try to go out on our own, well then that greatness will be our downfall and not something GOD will use to build the Kingdom and others. The only way to understand GOD's plan for our lives and learn how to walk in that greatness is to dwell in the Secret Place of the Most High. It's there that we will find the Supernatural comfort and strength to keep going for years on end, no matter how big of a fluorescent target we have on our backs that keeps the devil and his minions aiming his arrows at us!

 Brief Introduction to LOVE'S MUSES

FOR AUDIO LINKS

A Brief Intro and History of LOVE'S MUSES

Hello, my name is Kristina, and you are listening to an Ai text-to-speech audio version of an epic story called LOVE’S MUSES.  It’s a story with a rich exquisite cast who work together over the span of twenty years to help three men pick themselves up by the bootstraps after a great fall.  I’m not a writer by trade or choice, but around 10-11 years ago, GOD turned a projector on in my head and put and epic tale in there. I was compelled to write it down, and I know from Whom that compulsion came. I spent March 2013 - May 2015 working on it day and night. I self-published them ten years ago, but the handwriting on the wall was quite telling that GOD had not intended for LOVE’S MUSES to make its debut at that time. (Pun not intended, well maybe intended a little.) I decided to shelve the three completed books and when GOD knew that I was ready He would inspire me again to complete books 4 and 5.  Little did I know that there would end up being a 6^th book to be completed at a later time.  It is more or less of an epilogue tying up all the loose ends.

I do believe that it’s time that the LOVE’S MUSES Books need to come out of their hiding place, but I choose to remain behind. I’m not a public person. The older I get the thinner my skin gets, both figuratively and literally. I never want these books to attract attention for any reason other than the message in the pages, it's Wisdom from Above. As long as I’m breathing, these books will never see the inside of a commercial publishing house. What GOD has given me for free, I want to share for free, however, they are finally available in Kindle and print format. I put a link to them in the description section. If you are anything like me, you may like to hear the text as well as read it.  I have uploaded an Ai text-to-speech version of them through book four on Rumble, and I will add those links below, also. GOD bless you, and I pray that for those who have wounded hearts, and I’m sure that covers just about everyone, I hope you find healing in these pages.

You can read the books here for free, chapter by chapter, because it's never been about money for me, but about spreading hope in hopeless circumstances.   

LOVE'S MUSES Running From Love Blog Post posted by chapter)

OR

 They are available for purchase  

LOVE'S MUSES Series

 Or you can read them here for free

Ai text to voice for listening to LOVE'S MUSES

 LOVE'S MUSES: 

Running From Love

 (Book 1)

   The following is an excerpt from the first book in the LOVE'S MUSES series. This is what I call the hook chapter as many have told me they could not put the book down after this chapter.  If you are anything like me and your prefer to hear these books, you can listen to them read to you by Ai, here: LOVE'S MUSES Running From Love Book 1 Chapter 2 The Best Meet and Greet of His Life.

The books can be purchased or listened to for free on Rumble

LOVE'S MUSES Series

LOVE'S MUSES Running From Love on Rumble

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.  Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

This book contains adult language and adult themes and is not intended for younger audiences

 

.

Copyright © May 23, 2023

Copyright © March 25, 2014

© Jubilee Publishing

Fully revised

Second edition

©Kristina L. Allen

Original Copyright © October 16 2013

Original title: LOVE’S MUSES Recognizing His Rival

 

These books are copyrighted and may not be reproduced for any purpose.

All rights reserved.

 

 

 

Chapter 2

THE BEST MEET AND GREET OF HIS LIFE

 

The fall of 2010, was the genesis of Nick Thomas’s name becoming a household word when he finally reached gold with his first number one “Takin’ a Spin with You.”  That coveted spot won him a contract with Capitol Records and lost him his girlfriend of three years. When Brittany Hillendale walked out of his life, Nick’s only main squeeze became his quest to reach the top of the charts.  A happy, goal-oriented, and focused Nick toured the country, making his obligatory radio station appearances, promoting his new releases, which usually made the top twenty. He had an intoxicating presence about him. His luminous personality was what lit up every female within a twenty-mile radius. His large perfectly round spectacular gray-green eyes invited people into his heart. When anyone spoke to him, he treated that person as if he was fascinated by every word that person was saying. Nick Thomas wasn’t book-cover perfect, but his thick wavy chocolate brown hair encompassed his square, strong-looking face perfectly, and the way he carried himself with a self-confidence, was what made him drop-dead gorgeous to many. This brawny superstar artist who had that woodsman look about him, had just enough cowboy mixed in to make the girls swoon. His sweetness and dimples drew hands to his face. His neighborly boy-next-door personality acted as a magnetic beam, reaching out to any woman with whom he was in any sort of semi-intimate contact.  His poetic verbiage could drop any woman with his first line. The creativity he used with his gifts and talents for songwriting lay attribute to his eloquence with the English language, gaining him much recognition and admiration for his craft.  Every young single female with whom he spoke would be giddy with anticipation. They usually dreamed of being that one whose presence lit a fire in his soul, making her irresistible to him and the object of his desire. Every young female artist in the industry wanted to collaborate with him, in hopes of becoming one-half of a future powerhouse conglomerate couple bound for legendary status. The hard work of staying true to his craft and building a name for himself was paying off handsomely. 

Nick Thomas’s name was on the rise at a consistent rate with the help of one of his least favorite, yet most effective ploys, incorporating devoted, and even some obsessed fans by giving them a little more Nick Thomas, via special VIP passes and special parties as incentives. It kept them fueled in their own little “Nick Thomas” promotional campaigns on all their social media pages. One particular obsessed, nearly delusional groupie, Brooke McIntosh was a key player in getting his first release on the airways. Her dedication and hard work nearly single handedly gave Nick his first number one hit, thus giving her top groupie status and almost a star-like quality admired by Nick’s other slightly less delusional groupies.  The lofty five foot, eleven inch, long, platinum-blond-by-nature beauty had discovered and immediately fell head over heels in love with the rising artist five years prior when “Takin’ a Spin with You” hit the top twenty on the country music charts. Brooke was instrumental in promoting his first big single through all her social media contacts, spreading a viral radio station request to promote Nick’s song, which paid off when it hit number one on her birthday, sealing Nick Thomas forever in her heart. Walking around on the sober arm of Nick Thomas was her dream. She wanted to be his main squeeze, and she believed that she could be the future Mrs. Nicolas Paul Thomas. Unbeknownst to her, another had come in right under her stuffy nose, one Valentine’s night, two years ago, when she was sick in bed and stole even the tiniest hope of her ever being able to sign that coveted name as Mrs. Nick Thomas on her checkbook. 

The press kept building him up as country music’s best catch. Nick did not just play hard-to-get; he was hard-to-get. His reputation as a clean-cut, perfect catch, waiting for his Miss Right exceeded his true character, but it kept his image frequently displayed on magazine covers. This Mr. Right, most eligible bachelor, and Prince Charming was most certainly not looking for any moody female that could cause him to lose his focus and concentration. His Gramps indoctrinated him with the belief that his one true jolt-giver would come to him, catching him completely off guard, thus he did not need to look for her. He was waiting for God to bring the perfect woman to him, just as God did for his own grandfather in his Gramps’s Emma Grace.   True to form, God’s Cupid’s arrow came in the form of the thirty-four-year-old shy kindergarten teacher in the pink hat, via a fifteen-year-old somewhat obsessed teen fan, Julianna Marie Moore. At the last minute, Julianna put her meet and greet sticker on her Auntie K, when she chickened out of her long-awaited meeting with her idol.  Wishing her niece was where she was supposed to be, waiting in that line instead of herself, Katie put on her guarded aloof personality, with the intent of proving to Nick Thomas that being with him was no big deal. Twenty-seven-year-old Nicolas Paul Thomas was waiting for his next fan in line with his hands clasped and rubbing them together. Who he thought was going to be just another in the long line of worshipers, would end up becoming the one he worshiped. She was the least of his fans, and he was about to become her biggest one. Her eyes were smiling at him and warmly inviting.  The pink in her shirt and her hat made her rosy cheeks glow as she peeked around the backdrop, having no clue what to expect, and he chuckled at her apparent shyness. He returned the smile and warm glow on his face, and he let his dimples do the work they always did around the ladies.

“Hi, I’m Nick Thomas,” he said to this adorable woman with a heart-shaped face tucked under the visor of her favorite pink baseball cap. 

“Yeah, I get that, and that is why I’m here waiting in this ridiculously long line, being fumigated in a sea of fifty different perfumes.” He chuckled at her response to him and then began to study her face. She put her hand out to shake his. “I’m Ka—,” was all he remembered, as her natural beauty immediately struck him, making him lose all sense of time and space. She had on a worn, faded pink UK hat, with dangling silver earrings that matched her birthstone heart-shaped silver necklace. Her blue UK jacket brought out her beautiful light royal-blue eyes. She was not a starry-eyed kid or overdone twenty something looking like she had taken a shower in some makeup and a bath in their perfume. He put one hand in hers and the other on his chest, as a reflective move, as if guarding his heart from an aurora that was unfamiliar to him. A warm feeling overtook his whole body, unlike any other time when he had met one of his fans. He was so lost in the glow of her beautiful baby blues, that he did not hear anything she said. She pulled her hand away from his grasp, and he put one hand in his pocket while he took in her essence. She held out the CD to him, and he came halfway out of his daze and took the CD from her hand.

“You want me to sign this CD?” He asked with a half-smile, trying to figure out why this face seemed so familiar to him, as if he had known her all of his life, yet, he knew she was brand new to him.

“Yes, I thought this would make it easier.” He did not know what she meant by make it easier, as he had completely missed that part of the conversation. He took the CD from her hand, opened the case and almost forgot what to sign, as his mind was lost in her gaze.

“Sure, thanks for the compliment. An artist loves to know that his or her craft makes someone else happy, or feel better,” he said with his scripted line but added a little panache to it for her. “Now, you’ve brightened my night,” he said as he poured on the Nick Thomas charm, which usually dropped many a lady. Katie’s snorted a disbelieving laugh, while he signed the CD. His head jerked when she did that, and his mind came back to the present time, unsure whether she believed him. After he finished signing the inside liner, he flashed his pearly whites at her, assuming that would do the trick to make her swoon him, as much as he was uncontrollably and mysteriously swooning her.

“Wow! You’re easy to please,” she said with a slight shivering chuckle. 

“With a lovely lady like you, it wouldn’t take much.” He coughed a short confident chortle, handing back the CD and kept his dimples in play, working her with his eyes. He put both hands into his pockets, leaning on them and toward her aurora. He had this burning desire in him to have some sort of bodily contact with her, but knew that it would be too forward, this early in their meeting. 

“Well, then, okay in that case, I’m going to break the rules, if that’s okay?” She asked shyly with her eyebrows going north. He nodded, willing to agree to just about anything to keep her there, so he could figure out what it was about her that was so intriguing. 

“Sure, what can I do for you? Just name it, anything,” he said, as he took one hand out of his pocket and rubbed his expanded chest. 

“Anything?” she asked, tilting her head and raising her eyebrows with a mischievous smile and the pitch of her voice going much higher. 

“Up to half my kingdom, my fair lady,” he said playfully flirting with his head tilted. Katie gave him flirting eyes with a slight chuckle. She put her hand on his large bicep, and flirted back as playfully as he was doing, and then she leaned her body toward him.

“Only half?” she asked, feigning disappointment. Immediately, his body quaked, and he drew in a huge breath. He stepped back, as if he tripped, or a wave of her intoxicating aurora had just blown him back. The fragrance of her essence which was now permanently ingrained in his memory, lit him up in a place that never lit up that quickly before, but would later remain in that status most of the evening. All of his muscles became tense, and his pupils became dilated as he tried to regain his balance. His eyes blinked furiously, giving her the impression that he was shocked at her forwardness.  She stepped slightly back, embarrassed by his movement away from her. When he finally got his bearings, it took him only a second to recognize the feeling. He assumed that this must have been that first hormone-driven, love-addicting jolt that his Gramps had labeled all those years. It was the jolt-giver’s touch— the intoxicating touch from the woman with whom a man felt when he met his one and only for the very first time. His Gramps told him to expect it when he least expected it, and this was his unexpected moment. His eyes continued to blink rapidly as he tried to focus. He was so busy trying to gather himself that he was completely oblivious to the discomfiture he had just caused her when he backed away from her. Mortified that this man had just jumped back away from her when she touched him, she took a couple of more steps back and took in deep breaths of paranoia. Her shyness factor had now just gone into overdrive, and she wanted out of there, immediately.  She turned toward the man who was sitting on a table a few feet away, leaning forward on his hands, cracking up at his best friend, knowing exactly what was going on in his friend’s mind and body, having been there nineteen years earlier, but remembered it fresh as if it were yesterday.  This only increased her self-consciousness, and she assumed they were both poking fun at her, as a novice in a meet and greet line, and not knowing what kind of behavior was and was not acceptable.

Shawn Everett’s place in that meet and greet was as a last-minute substitution, as Joey, Nick’s road manager, had a family emergency that drew him away earlier that day. He cleared his throat to get Nick’s attention. When Nick looked over at his best friend, Shawn pointed his head and eyes toward a sheepish Katie, whose eyes were watering as if she was going to cry from embarrassment. Nick quickly caught up with himself and realized what he had just done to this beautiful woman, making her feel simply dreadful. The tension in the air was thick with humiliation on both their parts. His for falling back, and hers for causing him to step away from her presence. He needed to find a way out of this uncomfortable moment. She dropped her head when he looked down at her, still escaping eye contact with him. His tightened lips parted while he took in another quick breath. He stepped in closer and put his hand back on his chest to apologize. He placed his other giant hand on her shoulder forgoing any rules of etiquette, finally fulfilling his desire to have physical contact with her, as she had already touched him.  They both took in shallow breaths— his from infatuation, hers from humiliation. He spoke in his smooth, sensual, baritone voice, trying to calm her fears.

“Hey there, I’m sorry, umm, you kinda caught me off guard there, when you touched me. You know, you got a helluva touch there.”   She continued to avoid direct eye contact with him by rolling her eyes to and about, and she pulled back out from under his hand on her shoulder and away from his advances. He noticed her backing up, and he stepped in closer, again, to welcome her presence into his personal space. Tapping her fingers to her lips, Katie spoke in a broken tone while searching for the right words.

“Well, I’m sorry.  I umm, sometimes forget where I am, or who I am with and can tend to be a little bit too forward. Please, excuse me. Thank you for signing this,” she said while holding up the CD. “It was very nice to meet you. Take care of yourself, okay?”   She turned to walk away when in a slight panic; he took a couple of steps toward her, not wanting her to leave. He reached out to grab her arm, receiving his second jolt of the evening in just those couple of minutes. He tugged on her arm, turning her back to him and moved in closer. He put his hand back on her shoulder, while the other one kept a tight hold of her arm, as if preventing her from dodging him.

“No, really, please don’t leave. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I mean, for some reason, your touch just seemed to catch me off guard. I’m sorry.” He hesitated. “You know, there’s an essence about you,” he said trying to comfort her. He moved his head back and forth slowly, as if studying her face. He felt as if he was begging her to stay, and he was not above doing that right at that point. He had to have more time with her to find out as much as he could about this woman who just lit up his world and every nerve in his body. He had to find a way to get her backstage after the show, so he stalled. “I imagine you must hear that a lot. I mean, your eyes, your aurora. I’ll bet that you must make people smile whenever they are around you.” He smiled and breathed out a chuckle, not able to take back the smile that took over his facial muscles, nor could he turn down his dimples, even if he wanted to take it back a bit. 

“Oh yes, and then they back away from me when I touch them. It happens all the time. I should be used to it by now,” she said with disbelieving sarcasm, throwing her palms out facing upward. Nick snorted a good long laugh, until he noticed that he wasn’t making her feel any better. Shawn was enjoying watching his cocky celebrity friend with his first real case of stage fright, as he nervously twitched and reached for words that his tongue could not find. 

“Umm, ma’am, please, forgive me. I really am sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. Now, you were going to ask a favor, please tell me what it was. I’ll even give you the entire kingdom.”  He put his left hand back on his chest, while he slid his other hand off her shoulder down to her upper arm, rubbing it, thinking his touch would impress her. She took her eyes down to where his hand was rubbing her arm, and he quickly removed it. He nervously put both hands in his pockets and leaned on them. “See there, now it’s me being too forward.  I’m sorry. Now, what is it I can do to make you happy?” 

“Umm, well, first, you can stop calling me ma’am, and if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, a special young lady dared me to come out of here with my visor signed, and I never back down from a dare.” She giggled, and he chuckled, letting the air out of his chest. 

“Is that all you were going to ask?” His smile increased, feeling a bit more at ease, and he shook his head like it was no big deal. When his chest dropped, relaxing a bit, she followed suit and the tension in her shoulders lowered, as he made her feel that much more relaxed. Her timidity transformed into her nervousness and her quick wit and humor to break the ice some more. 

“Well, it was either that, or to request that you father my next child, but the last thing I could handle right now is becoming a single mother, again, and I doubt you’d want to marry me.”  She giggled with sarcasm at the absurdity of the idea. He laughed and appreciated her attempt to break the ice. It was just enough for him to gather his wits and turn back on his Prince Charming act, which usually dropped most women in his presence, until he met his match in this elder unimpressed woman.

“Well, marrying someone like you would probably be the smartest thing I could ever do. I mean to look in those eyes everyday would be a treat I would most certainly not deserve, but I’m not sure I’m ready to be a father, right now, either” he chortled. She laughed and shook her head at his attempt to exaggerate a compliment to her. “So, do you want to take your hat off, and I’ll sign it?”   Katie laughed again at his request, and he looked puzzled, oblivious to what was so funny. 

“What, and let you or anybody else see my hat hair? Oh my gosh, are you out of your friggin’ mind? Geez, man, you already backed away from me once!”  Nick held his stomach as he broke down in a long, unexpected belly laugh, caught off guard by her quick wit. Shawn, also caught off guard by her sense of humor, shook his head, cracking up at her comeback. Katie and Nick both looked over at Shawn who was having the best time watching the both of them. 

“Well, far be it from me, but with your face and eyes, I don’t think too many people would be looking at your hair. I know I wouldn’t. You must get told a lot that you have the most beautiful eyes,” he said in a swooning tone, causing Katie to snort a short disbelieving laugh with her knitted eyebrows. 

“Okay, I’m game. I’ll play. As a matter of fact, I do, dozens of times a day and even in the pitch black of the night.” She looked over at Shawn shaking her head and rolling her eyes, as he laughed. Nick broke up again, finding it hard to keep his response to her under control.  She was beautiful and funny, two great combinations.  She turned back to Nick, put her hand to her mouth and dropped her head, but raised her eyes to chuckle shyly. 

“Well, my fair lady, that doesn’t surprise me one bit.  They are magnificent. I’ve never seen any like yours.”

“Oh boy, you’re good. Is there a class ya’ll have to take to learn how to sweep the women off their feet who are in your meet and greet lines? I’ll bet you got an A+ in that subject.” She patted his bicep, again, then jerked her hand back, immediately, remembering what happened the last time she touched him. She assumed he did not want his fans to touch him. This time when he received the jolt, he made sure not to step back. He even leaned a bit more toward her, demonstrating how much she was welcomed in his presence, along with her touch. He rubbed his index finger down the side of her face at her hairline to her chin, lifting her face while he spoke.

“Actually, I just know how to pick’em, the lovely ladies, that is, and you are the loveliest I’ve seen, by far, my fair lady.” He said with his usual confident celebrity mode, expecting to impress her. 

“Woe, a little bit over the top, but with some style.”  She shook her head in disbelief, looked over at Shawn and pointed toward Nick with her head tilted. “Is he like this with every female in his meet and greet lines?”

“Nope, I’ve never seen him blowing it like this before.” 

“Blowing it?” She asked.  Her smile immediately left her face, and she went on the defensive from this point on, assuming he was pulling the same horse and pony show that her Michael did, when he was playing his groupies. Shawn continued to shake his head and hint to his younger friend that he was pouring it on way too much, and he needed to take it down a few notches. Nick lost in her beauty, completely missed Shawn’s advice.  The memories of watching her Michael played like an old home movie in her head. He also put his hands all over the groupies when he was intent on doing some rocking between the sheets. She put her hand on Nick’s chest, pushed him back away from her, sending another mind-bending jolt and reset the pace between them.   “Hey look, Prince Charming, if you have some absurd twisted notion of trying out an older woman beneath the sheets, you can stop right there. I’m not into one-night stands with artists. Been there, done that. I married the bum, so save it for one of the Barbie’s behind me.”  Nick sucked in a quick deep breath, shocked at the insinuation, finally caught on to the message that he was coming on way too strong, and he put his hand on hers, stepping closer toward her in another attempt to ease the tension that had resurfaced in the air around them. 

“I’m so sorry if I gave you that impression. Honestly, I’m not like that. Really, that has not been my intention. Please believe me.”  She patted his chest and pulled her hand out from under his. 

“Good, so, let’s get this hat signed, and I’ll get out of your way,” she said, showing her distaste for his pick-up lines. He started to panic. He was obviously offending her, and she was about to bolt from his life. He had to find a way to ask her backstage, but she was already doubting his intentions. Asking her backstage now would only make her more suspicious. 

“Why don’t you lower your head, and I’ll sign your hat.” Katie put her head down, while Nick tried to keep his shaking hand steady. Shawn knew exactly how Nick was feeling, fighting that natural biological response of a man at the sight of a beautiful woman, having been completely struck dead center by cupid’s arrow. Nick prayed she wasn’t looking that way, nor would notice what was happening to him below the belt, beyond his control. “There,” he said when he finished. Tongue-tied and lost in another gaze, in the beauty of her eyes, he was acting like a man completely smitten. He started studying her entire face as if to take it all in permanently, memorizing the face of his first jolt-giver.  There was an awkward silence, as she picked up on that gaze, but found it too incredulous to indulge in such a thought. 

“Yoo-hoo, where did you go? Are you okay? Are these meet and greets that boring for you that you retreat off into the last electronic game you played with your buddy, realizing where you screwed up to get your guy shot up?”   He just stood there, not hearing a word she said as Katie looked over at Shawn who was cracking up at his friend’s usual technique bombing bountifully. She shrugged her shoulders at Shawn with her palms open wide. Shawn shook with laughter. 

“Hey buddy, dude, Nick,” Shawn said jerking Nick out of his daze. 

“I’m sorry. I got lost in those beautiful eyes, again. Really, they are captivating, and I keep losing my train of thought because of them.” Katie giggled a high-pitched snicker. 

 “Oh my God, are you for real?” She looked over at Shawn with a doubting look. Shawn nodded yes, while still snickering at his friend with his chuckling. 

“Yes, I am as real as the blue in your eyes,” Nick said with a serious face, swooning and staring into those irresistible eyes that kept calling to him with the twinkle in them.   

“Geez, your come backs are as good as your lines.”   Forgetting that they had just met moments earlier, Nick stepped a half of a step closer to her and put his giant hand on her shoulder. His thumb and index finger crept up her neck. He started caressing her neck with his thumb, coming on to her as if they were already a couple.

“So, what do you do?” He asked, swooning. At this point, his come on was really starting to annoy her and she was going to drop him as best as she could. She decided to fight a little fire with her own brand of fire. She stepped in closer, and with a seductive look in her eye, she walked her fingers up his chest, sending him to jolt-giver’s heaven. She turned her head just slightly and poured on the sarcasm, showing her aggravation. 

“Okay, Mr. Smooth Talking Tower of Temptation. I’ve already told you that I’m not a groping groupie, nor am I a worshiping one. Now, besides the beautiful easy young Barbie’s behind me in line, if you can’t win over any of them, then you can always go to the east side of the city, you’re bound to find some of what you are looking for on one of those street corners.”  Shawn’s eyes opened wide as well as his mouth, and he busted out laughing, amused at how this woman was knocking his cocky, most-wanted bachelor friend on his butt, throwing him into complete confusion. Nick immediately removed his hand and backed up at that accusation. He put his hands in his pockets, knowing now that he was beginning to aggravate her. Embarrassed by what she thought, he tried to recover.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I meant, what do you do for a living?”   Katie threw her right hand up to her mouth, lowered her head and grabbed the top of her hat with embarrassment. Shaking her head back and forth, and lowering her visor, she apologized with all sincerity. 

“Shoot, there I go running off my mouth, again. It’s my past, come back to haunt me. My Michael used to work his groupies, and it drove me crazy. That was so stupid. I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”  Nick, noting that she felt terribly, stepped in closer. He put his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. He spoke soft and tenderly to her.

“There’s nothing to forgive. I’m an idiot fumbling with my words.” 

“Well, you tremendous, towering inferno, I guess I’m the one being presumptuous, so sorry. I’m a teachah,” she said in her Yankee accent. 

“Wow! Cool! What grade?”

“Kindergahten,” she said as a true Yankee stretching out the vowel sound without the noted “R,” in typical Yankee form.  

“Wow! That’s even better. You look like a teacher.”  Katie squished her eyebrows together in a puzzled look. 

“Looking like a teacher, is that good or bad?” 

“Oh, it’s good.  You look like a woman that kids would love to be around.”

“Okay, we’re back to that. I’ll play, again,” she said putting on her playful side, again. She grabbed his hand and started swinging it as if flirting.  “Well, you look like a hunky country singer that groupies like to hang all over, offering up anything your little heart or other little part desires.”  Nick broke down embarrassed but found it extremely funny. He put his other hand on his shaking middle from the laughter and lifted her hand.

“Score one for the teacher, that was funny, but you’ve been funny the whole time, when I haven’t ticked you off, being an idiot.” 

“You’re not an idiot. I think you’re charming. It’s just that your charm isn’t going to work on me, for whatever that little part of yours desires.”  Shawn continued to crack up at her funny sense of humor. She let go of his hand. Nick, disappointed that she let go, cleared his throat. 

“So, Teach, I’ll bet you have lots of kids come back to see you.”  She smiled at his nickname for her, finding it cute, while she hoped that he could not remember her name.

“Well, I have my fair share of returns.” 

“I’ll bet you’re being modest. If you were my kindergarten teacher, I’d come back twice a year, nope, maybe three, or four, times a year, even to this day as a grown man. Ah hell, standing here makes me wish I could go back to kindergarten so I could sit at a desk and stare up at you for six hours a day.” Katie tilted her head and lifted her eyebrows. Shawn cleared his throat to indicate too strong. “I mean and listen to your funny and your accent,” he said, recovering.

“Wow, I wonder what you would have said if I told you I was a nurse. Ah— don’t go there,” she said with a facetious smile, raising and lowering her eyebrows. Nick broke up, again. 

“So, tell me, your accent, I love it. What is it New York?”  Katie’s face became serious, and she stuck her chin out as if offended. 

“New Yawhk?” She dropped her Kentucky drawl and reverted to her native tongue. Let’s put it this way, you magnificent monstrous minstrel, it would be a cold day— no a blizzuhd’s day in hell for me to ever weeah’ a Yankee’s hat.  I’m from Bawston.  Ther’ah’s a big difference, besides the seven seven ‘owahs’s’ drive ya know?  We don’t like being ‘comparehed’ to New Yawkahs, ya see? Learn the difference. I’ll let it slide this time, but don’t let it happen again.” 

“Well, I’m so sorry; I won’t make that mistake again.” Nick tightened his lips, causing Katie’s face to soften in compassion. She reached up and rubbed his arm, then put her hand on his sullen face, rubbing his shadow beard. 

“I’m so sorry, I did it again. I was just playin’ with ya.’ Please forgive me. We are like that, you know. We Yankee-northerners are a bit crass, sometimes, no matter how long we’ve been gone. I’m really sorry. I made your beautiful smile go away.” He breathed a sigh of relief and dropped the tension in his shoulders, flashing her his great big, dimpled smile showing off his pearly whites. 

“That’s okay, Teach, I’m not offended. I wasn’t following you for a minute, but I’m a big boy. I can handle a little needling from a Yankee-northerner, not a Yankee fan, though, Red Sox, I got it. I won’t forget.”  She gave a short giggle, knowing for sure now that he could not remember her first name, which was just fine with her because of her mistrust of his intentions. Realizing that she had stayed in that meet and greet far longer than any of the other fans before her, she backed up to get ready to depart.

“Seriously, I gotta go, they’re going to start a riot out there. I can hear the native groupies getting restless. So, short stuff, the comedy routine has ended. It was nice meetin’ ya. Thanks for all the, umm, compliments,” she said as if she did not believe in his sincerity.   She put her hand out to shake his, and he enveloped her tiny hand in his, putting his other hand on top, grasping and stalling, to get the nerve to ask her backstage after the concert. He pulled in his lower lip and was just about to bite the bullet and ask when she pulled her hand from his and started to walk away. She turned back, looking up and smiled at him.  “Oh, and some of these groupies are cute, but take some advice from an old lady, experienced in this. Yah nevah know what you’re getting into, with a groupie, I mean. It’s bett’ah just to stay outside, even if it’s really cold.” Katie raised her eyebrows and adjusted her hat with her left hand. His smile immediately left his face as he noted the stop sign on her left ring finger. That ring was screaming, taunting him, “taken too late.”  Nick’s sudden change in the expression on his face took Katie to a whole new level of confusion. She had gone too far, and it was time to exit stage left lickety-split.  For a brief couple of seconds, Nick looked over at Shawn and pointed to his ring finger, shrugging his shoulders. When he turned back, she had disappeared, vanished into thin air. He panicked and pointed with his head for Shawn to go after her. As the next person in line joined Nick’s presence, he did his best to focus on what that girl was saying to him, but his mind and heart had left that room to chase down his long-awaited jolt-giver. As the young fan spoke, a muffled voice was all he heard. He picked up his head to see Shawn enter back into the room. Shawn shrugged his shoulders, raised his eyebrows and opened wide his palms, indicating that he couldn’t find her.  The letdown of her disappearance dropped Nick worse than any line she gave him to stop his Prince Charming act. He looked like a kid who had just lost his best friend. For the rest of the meet and greet, he hardly heard a word anyone else said. Nick’s sunken heart kept him from thinking about anything else but his jolt-giver and that heart-stopping ring on her left hand.

Later, disappointment flooded his heart as if the Hoover Dam of despair had burst in his head, when he could not see any trace of her in the audience before the show when the lights were still up. After the concert, from backstage, Nick searched the audience as they began to file out of the arena. While Shawn and Nick walked back to the bus, Nick brought up the subject of his jolt-giver. “Bro, it may be cold outside, but I’m telling you, it was hot as all hell in that meeting room tonight. So hot, I could still feel it on stage, especially knowing she was out there somewhere.”  

“Yep buddy; she gave you that jolt thing your mom and Gramps talk about, huh? Shit, you put on one helluva show, tonight, trying to impress her, huh?” 

“I guess it was a bit obvious.” 

“Dude, when she accused you twice of trying to pick her up for a quickie, I would have thought you got the message you were coming on too strong.   She kept knocking you on your ass, yet you kept getting up right back at it. You were practically all over her. She obviously wasn’t falling for the cocky country artist routine you usually can melt women and groupies with.”   Nick stopped short and put his hand on his slightly shorter best friend.

“Shawn, the ring, she’s engaged.” 

“You don’t know that. The ring could be on to keep the creeps away. Some women do that,” Shawn said to encourage his friend as he began to walk again to the bus. Nick stood there, still dumbfounded, and let the idea of her possibly being available float around in his head with joyful anticipation. He jogged a few steps to catch up with his friend.   

“Hey, that’s right, she said that the last thing she needed was to become a single mother, again. So, you suppose she has at least one child? I mean what do you suppose she meant by a single mother, again?”

“I don’t know, but there’s a story there. Bro., even without the ring and the betrayal from the ex-husband, you’ve got a lot of ground to cover and make up for.” As Nick opened the door to the bus and they stepped up into it. He looked behind him at his best friend of three years. 

“She hated me, I’m sure of that.” 

“She didn’t hate you. Remember, every time she knocked you down, she picked you back up, again. Something tells me that she’s real special, and you’re going to have to be that much more special to win her over.” 

“I’m not that special, Shawn.”  Nick said plopping himself down on the couch in the front lounge stretching his legs out in front of him.  

“Nicolas Paul is, and I’d bet she’d love him,” Shawn said, reaching into the mini fridge, pulling out two beers. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  Shawn handed Nick a beer, and he opened it, guzzling a good portion of it to drown his discouragement. 

“I think that she’d love the humble Nicolas Paul, but I think she’d hate Nick Thomas the country music star. Don’t worry, pal, if she is your true jolt-giver, you’ll get another shot at it. You know what your Gramps said about that. It’s like he says, it’s only a tiny sip to get you ready for that full love cocktail in which you’ll become fully inebriated in God’s perfect time.”

“What? Do you record my Gramps?” He asked. Shawn moved on to the back of the bus and knocked on the back suite door. 

“Jeff, you ready to go get something to eat?” he asked Nick’s driver. 

“Be out in a minute,” a sleepy muffle voice called from behind the door.  Shawn returned to the front lounge. “Bro, I remember when he said at yours and your Gran’s birthday party that the first time he saw your Gran, he got that jolt thing, but it took years before he finally got her to the altar. I mean if this is the one for you, she’ll be back.”  Nick nodded, recalling the many times his grandfather retold that story of his meeting his one true love.

“Man, in all my days since I first discovered girls, no one, has done to me, what she has. I have never experienced anything like that. She turned me into a bumbling idiot.”  Nick rose and shuffled over to the cabinet to grab a towel. 

“Yep, she sure did knock you down a few pegs. I hope she comes back soon, because, dude, you need knocking down and a lot of it.” 

“Are you saying I’m full of myself?” 

“Over, pal, over full. You gotta learn to keep that in check, no matter how many groupies worship you.”

“She certainly wasn’t worshiping me, that’s for sure. I wonder why she was even in my line.” 

“Didn’t you hear? She was there to get a CD signed for a co-worker whose mother was dying. Where were you?” 

“I didn’t hear that. I kinda got lost in her eyes the minute I saw them. So, the CD was for a co-worker’s mother who was dying? Wow, how cool is that?  I’ll bet she’s something else. Generous to a fault. Hey, she didn’t like me, but she must like my music if she bought it for someone who was dying.”

“Yep, you got that going for you. She’ll be good for you, and for us, cuz man, sometimes, you get pretty hard to live with when you get too much of that idol worship,” Shawn said.

“So, are you saying I’m a jerk?” 

“That’s exactly what he’s saying,” Jeff said emerging from the bathroom. “You gonna come to the Circle City with us and grab a bite?” He asked. 

“Nah,, I’m gonna shower, then work on my album, til I have to go back out on stage for the encore. I’m lost here. I got nothing. I’ve lost my magic for sure.” 

“Bro, you just met your jolt-giver, that ought to open some channels of creativity.”  Shawn said as he patted Nick on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I suppose,” he said throwing the towel over his shoulder. “Maybe I could come up with something now. Man, she really was magic, huh?”

“What did she look like?” Jeff asked.

“Oh man, she was so cute, and tiny, and she had the most beautiful eyes, ”Nick said swooning. “She was so funny, wasn’t she? Oh, shit, Shawn, did you get her name?” 

“Nope, I wasn’t paying attention then.” 

“Great, I’ve got a jolt-giver, and I don’t even know her name, only that she’s a teacher. How cool is that, anyway, a kindergarten teacher at that.”

“Yes, and a hilarious one at that,” Shawn added. 

“Yeah, she was so funny. I could sit with her forever and never get sick of hearing that accent or her funny. I hope I see her again.” Nick rose from the sofa, took off his shirt and tossed it in a pile of dirty clothes. “She was incredible. I hope it’s soon. I could look into those eyes every day for the rest of my life, I’m sure of that.” A sudden panic rose in the forefront of his mind. “Wait a minute, I didn’t get a picture with her. She bolted before you could take a picture. Oh, man, what if I never see her again? Shawn, do you suppose that she didn’t like me so much that she didn’t even want a picture with me?”  Paranoia became the ruling emotion in that bus from the lead vocalist.

“That teacher had the jolt-giver’s touch for you, Nick.  She’ll be back. Wait it out. Be glad there’s one out there for you. You kept saying you feared that they’d never be one for you, because no woman ever gave you that jolt thing. You now have experienced it, so just chill and wait for her. Next time, don’t come on so strong and maybe you can get a picture of her.” Shawn said with a snide chuckle as he grabbed his wallet and his keys. “You sure you don’t want to come?” 

“Nah, I’m going to take advantage of the quiet time here. Where’s Jer’ and Mike?” 

“I think they’re going to meet us there. Tommy’s probably off drinking somewhere. Bro, you gotta get rid of him.” 

“He’s a good drummer. He’s got a lot of talent,” Nick said. 

“Talent ain’t good for shit, if the guy’s a shit, and he is. I think he’s giving the whack job inside information, and that’s why she’s always around. You didn’t see her tonight, did you?” Shawn asked. 

“Nope, she wasn’t in the line, but she was on the list,” Nick said. “I wasn’t looking forward to seeing her, especially tonight after my magic walked in there and into my life.” 

“Don’t you know, stupid? She’s sick. She had the flu.” Jeff said. 

“How do you know that?” Nick asked while removing his pants. 

“Any idiot can read a Facebook page,” he retorted. 

“Oh, and you follow her?” Nick asked. 

“Dude, I’m the driver. I keep my eyes open. I look for any opportunity to run her over,” he said cackling. Shawn and Nick cracked up at that comment, which was typical of Jeff and his dry sense of humor. 

“If only that were legal,” Nick said. “Well, thank God for the flu and a pass on her tonight. She’s such a pain in the ass.”  Shawn looked back right before he descended the steps.

“She works her ass off for you, so you should be thankful for that.  Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it. The last thing that delusional whack job needs, is any more encouragement.” 

“I know. I avoid her as much as I can, without making it too obvious.” 

“Well, I’ll grab you a sandwich before I leave the pub,” Shawn said as he and Jeff descended the steps. 

“Thanks bro, for everything,” he said as he disappeared into the shower.