When Backed up Against the Wall, Do What GOD's Heroes Did.

     Five years ago, while serving at the local food pantry, I got served. I didn't get served food, though, I got served divorce papers. After six years of waiting this thing out, hoping that my husband would turn back to GOD, he instead, underhandedly went behind my back and retained a human divorce lawyer. He told me that I didn't need a lawyer, that he would take care of me financially, and nothing would change that. That was the case, until recently, so, I am grateful for that.  I did need a lawyer, only I wasn't going to pay a human lawyer to defend me.  I retained a Lawyer long before, when this all began, and He has been advising me through this mess. My Lawyer works pro-bono, and as the true Judge in the case, He always serves Justice where justice is due.

   My husband who used to be a dedicated man of GOD, raising our eight children with me for almost 30 years, has laid claim to a new god. and a new woman.  It's a travesty, but more than that, it's a tragedy in the making. He knows that GOD has called me to special task, and he knows better than to go after a servant who is working for the Kingdom of Heaven full-time. He has seen the mighty Hand of GOD pull off some pretty amazing feats on my behalf. This is why he is being so foolish, and I do not understand this risk he is willing to take.

   He claimed to be divorcing me after three decades, two wedding ceremonies, including a Covenant Marriage ceremony, and eight baby dedications.  I took this personal, as any faithful wife would.  I see his civil NO-FAULT divorce as his way of persecuting me.  When we are persecuted, it is not us who are being persecuted, but Jesus. In Acts 9, when Saul was stopped cold dead in his tracks on the Damascus Road on his way to arrest, persecute and put to death those Jews following the Way, Jesus took that moment to let him know just Who he was trying to oppress. When a husband divorces a faithful Covenant wife, he is also divorcing YHVH GOD.  While Saul thought he was taking ordinary men to court, he was really taking Jesus to court. Jesus was having none of that, because Saul had a destiny, one he never suspected. His destiny would change the course of the entire world, and he would go from being the church's chief opponent, to the church's chief proponent, and write 1/3 of the New Testament for all of us to benefit for these last two thousand years.

     Well, I don't have that kind of destiny, but there is a work GOD has for me to do, and my husband has known that.  By going up against me, instead of protecting me, he was really going up against GOD.  I've tried to warn him of that fact.  Let me tell you, many people have tried to go up against GOD and GOD's people, and to this date, none have won. When I got those divorce papers in front of all my volunteer friends at the food pantry, which was in a church, I did what good King Hezekiah did. I took those folded up papers straight up to the sanctuary, and laid them flat on the altar right under the Cross of Jesus. Then, I laid prostrate on the ground and cried and panicked a little.  I cried out to my GOD for help. After I did that, I put them on his car, secured by the windshield wiper, prayed it wouldn't rain, and put a verse on the back side of those un-opened papers to let my husband know just Who was fighting my battle.

      Whenever things get really bad, when my back's up against a wall, the only thing I can do is find someone in the Bible, study what they did, and do the same. The good King Jehoshaphat did the same thing. 2 Kings 19:14-37 & 2 Chronicles 20:1-30  We can't go wrong by finding  Biblical example and doing the same.  When he first left me six years prior to him filing for divorce,  I could have struck first and filed for divorce.  When  he began a relationship with another woman, I had every right to file, but I did not.  She eventually dumped him,  even after he divorced me two years later, and I was there to pick up the pieces.  He has since put a ring on another woman's finger and moved in with her.  This is a woman he describes as a good Christian woman, and they both attend church regularly and are even involved in some ministries.  This does not go over well with GOD, no matter what people tell themselves.  You cannot live in complete opposition to the Bible, attend church regularly and not expect it to cost you something dear. Again, if this relationship goes south, I've offered to pick up the pieces and be his back up plan so he doesn't end up homeless, hoping my grace toward him will lead him to sincere and serious repentance.  Usually, it's GOD's Grace which leads us to repentance, but there are occasions when our repentance will lead to Grace, however, it is usually GOD reaching out to us first with the offer of Grace.  

     In 1 Samuel, although David had every right to defend himself from a mad king hell-bent on killing him, David did not strike on those two opportunities that GOD delivered King Saul into his hands. I've had plenty of opportunity to do some serious damage to that man, and at times, I will admit, I was tempted. When he first left, I truly never believed it would come to divorce court, and I will admit, I panicked when this did happened, even after I prayed and read the Bible. I wept bitter tears, loud bitter tears for two days, so much so that my head was about to explode, and my eyes were nearly swollen shut. I had an army of social media friends praying, and what a difference that made in a couple of days. Like David in 1 Samuel 29, with their help, I was able to find strength in the LORD, and turn it all over to Him, again. I know that GOD will never leave us, even if at times if feels like He has. Eventually, GOD does come through for His servants, sometimes we have to wait it out in the fiery furnace of affliction, but GOD is never late. He is always on time, even if it's not what we consider on time. 

     I begged my husband to turn back to GOD to no avail. I begged and pleaded with him to withdraw the divorce papers, again, to no avail. When a man attacks his Godly wife in front of their children, he isn't just killing the one-flesh, but he's destroying his children in the process. The father's role in the family is so very vital and crucial, and when the head of the household goes bad, like a any creature with it's head cut off, the whole body dies.  I know that too many women have been victim to their husbands throwing them away like yesterday's newspapers, and have been dragged into divorce court, against their wills. They have been forced to fight back with their own human lawyer, causing financial devastation to the children and the home.  Although, he has kept his word and provided for the children all these years, I have been the only full-time parent, 24/7, at home taking care of their every need. Yes, he's forking over their financial needs, but children need way more from a father than money. GOD knows that, I know that, but sadly, my husband either doesn't know it, or doesn't care.

     I have not hid the truth from our children, nor have I tried to destroy their relationship with him, however, he has.   It's a husband's job to protect his wife, their mother, and when he goes after her through the civil courts, he's telling his children that he hates their mother. Also, when a man takes on a new woman, in the recesses of a child's mind, they see this as an attack on their mother, and it will affect their relationship with their father for the rest of their lives. There is no good outcome here unless he repents.  This never ends well for the father.  Children have an innate propensity to protect their mother, even if she has many faults. 

     I am hoping that this will be a life's lesson for all of us. Personally, unless you  have a really strong faith in YHVH GOD, I would not recommend going into divorce court without legal counsel.  You have to really be sure that you are in the right here, and if you are, then you can trust GOD to be your Counsel.  I guess, for me, it was a lesson in trust. I was terrified, but I did what the Biblical heroes did, and I stood on that ground.  I did not fight back, I did not try to do any damage, and I let GOD have His way, however it was going to go. It is a very scary thing, but, I did it. I had to give up all rights to everything, and understand that if it was GOD's will for me to lose everything, I was going to have to live with that, too. As it turned out, I got to keep my house, everything in the house, and the children too.  I won materially, but we all lost spiritually and emotionally. There is no getting over the damage a divorce does, ever.  Maybe that's why GOD says in Malachi 2:16, I hate divorce.  It's not over until GOD says it's over and I can only see two outcomes here.  Either he repents, or GOD ends his time here with him living in sin.  Obviously, I'm praying still for the former.  The key here is for me to keep my nose clean, because the children are watching both of us, and at least one of us has to leave a good track record if both cannot.