Some people just don't like some people.

     My former husband, said to me for three decades, "That's why people don't like you, Kristina." I heard it so much that I began to dislike myself to the point of self-hatred.  It took GOD several years to convince me that it wasn't me, it was the speaker who was in the wrong.  I also heard it  so often from my mother, who never liked me, my siblings, who never liked me, besides my husband of three decades, who never liked me, and I felt it from the other man I thought I wanted to marry. So, I asked GOD, "Why don't people like me?" Here is the answer I think I got from the Holy Spirit: 

     "Some people don't like passionate people. Some people don't like those who go all in when they believe in something.  Some people don't like some people who love as deeply as you do, because that kind of devoted love they think they can never match.  Take heart, dear child, here is another  list of some people that some people don't like."

     Abraham, who had the courage to confront GOD about wiping out Sodom and Gomorrah, knowing his nephew and his family lived there.

     Sarah, who wanted Abraham to get rid of the slave woman and her illegitimate son when he taunted her son, who was the son of promise.

     Rebekah, who was barren, when  she confronted her husband to demand that he demand YHWH to give her a child, Who in turn gave her two. One would be the father of many, in fact a whole tribe of them. 

    

     Jacob, who confronted Laban for the way he swindled him out of twenty years of hard labor. He also wrestled with GOD, and refused to give in, until the ANGEL OF THE LORD gave in and let him be on his way, after maiming him. 

     Moses, now there was a confrontational man. First he killed an Egyptian for beating up a Hebrew, then he had the gall to return to Egypt forty years later to demand that Pharaoh release his "free" labor force and set GOD's people free from their slavery.

     Caleb demanded the best of the best of the land in the promise land, because Moses promised it to him. Then, at eighty-five-years-old, attacked and conquered the people of that land.

     Gideon, least of the least, who was also what the angel of the LORD called a valiant warrior, who while hiding from the Midianites in a wine press, later had the courage and nerve to take down the altar of Baal as well as the Midianite's Asherah pole. He then took on an army of just 300 men to the camp of 132,000 Midianites with some lamps and pitchers to destroy that nation and force there out of the land of the Israelites, given to them by Elohim.

     Samson..., okay, let's skip that one!

     Ruth, who boldly refused to return to the land of Moab, choosing instead to remain with the mother of her dead husband to travel to a foreign land, where she knew she would be considered and "abominable" foreigner.

     Samuel, who confronted King Saul who could have had him killed by denouncing him as an illegitimate king, and that the Most High would dethrone him and give the throne to a man after GOD's own heart, which would have to be a passionate heart, as He is a passionate and jealous GOD.

     David who was a fugitive for eight plus years, because he was favored of GOD, and hated by the human King Solomon. 

 

 

     Solomon, when given a choice between riches and GOD's wisdom to rule a nation, Solomon chose wisdom, which in turn got him into much trouble, because that kind of wisdom brings on much sorrow, and a human is just not capable of carrying that which YHVH GOD carries.

     Hezekiah, who saw how far GOD's people had fallen, and he instituted reforms, taking down all the high places the people had built to sacrifice to foreign gods, which were not gods at all.

     Josiah, a young king, who when the Law was found hidden in the Temple, tore his clothes, covered himself in ashes, and insisted that the people repent of worshiping other gods, and he then re-instituted the Passover and other Levitical feast.

     Of course, there's Jeremiah, Isaiah, Amos, Micah, Zephaniah,  Obadiah, Joel, Nahum, Habakkuk, Ezekiel, Hosea, who married a prostitute, then bought her back after she strayed.  Daniel and his three friends, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who defied two kings' royal decrees.  After the exile, there was Zechariah, Malachi, Haggai.  Jonah and Job are my favorites, because both rebelled against GOD in word, and for Jonah, in deed.   

 

     Mordecai who refused to leave the kings gate, ratted out some treasonous plotters bent on killing King Ahasuerus, a Babylonian king, nonetheless, then put his cousin, the queen in her place when she refused to go to the king to save her people. Then had the gall to put the Queen in her place and remind her of her humble beginnings. 

     Judas Maccabees, who infuriated by Antiochus IV of Epiphanes slaughtering an unclean animal in the Sacred Temple of the LORD, on the Altar, nonetheless, led a rebellion that is remembered every Hanukkah to commemorate the deliverance of GOD's people from the type and shadow of who will be the next anti-Christ.

     Shall I mention Jesus, who confronted the Pharisees for three and a half years over their hypocrisy and abandonment of the true letter of the Law, and was crucified because of that, or does that not need to be mentioned, because it's quite obvious? I did just mention it, didn't I? That crucifixion ended the devil's reign on  all those who look to Yeshua HaMashiach as their Savior from death and hades.

     Peter, a man who could not stop putting his foot in his mouth, who had the nerve to rebuke the Son of GOD who prophesied about his impending death. Then, he claimed he would defend Jesus to the death, if need be, when he told them that he would be handed over to the "authorities" to be flogged and killed. Yeah, that promise didn't go as planned.

     And last, but definitely not least, the obnoxious, Jesus-hating, Apostle Paul, who was hell-bent on killing all the followers of The Way, until Jesus stopped him cold dead in his tracks and blinded him to the lie, while opening his eyes to the truth.

     Well, after all those examples, I can see why people don't like me.  Some people just can't handle those who go all in.  Mediocre is all they want.  My former husband always said his favorite verse was about just living a quiet peaceful life, avoiding all conflicts.  (That is his whole understanding of the Whole Counsel of GOD)  

    I have heard it said that if one is really walking closely with GOD, then people will either hate you or love you.  The ones who hate you are the ones who wish they were walking the same way you were, and were as close to YHVH GOD themselves, or those who have not been chosen and remain on the road to destruction.  Yet, the ones who love you are walking that closely and can spot a fellow chosen servant with a specific duty to reach people.  Contrary to popular opinion, if people just like you, then likely you are doing it wrong!  Jesus called "liked" people, vomit.  Revelation 3:16. 

Take heart dear confrontational sister or brother, GOD made you that way, because He has a great plan for you!   

The Stepping Stones to Success Require Being Forcibly Stuffed with Humble Pie. 

     I hate that I am "growing old" alone, but it is GOD's will for me at this point in my life.  After seeing this picture of myself pop up on my app that brings the past back to light by way of my photos, I now see that these were apparently happier days.  Even though I was going through somewhat of a depressive state, I had no idea just how difficult and heartbreaking life could actually become in later years.   I remember this time in my life. I was suffering from infertility. Yes, this octomom suffered from infertility for eighteen months after child number five. Everyone told me, "Be happy with the five you have." It wasn't as if I wasn't happy, it was that I knew in my heart GOD had another one coming, and I could not get regnant. 

     I had no problem getting pregnant with the first five. I could not understand what was going wrong. I had  my first known miscarriage of the four total when I was forty years old, six months after this picture was taken.  It was difficult enough getting pregnant. So when I lost it, I went into a deep depression. A friend of mine suggested a book called The Thyroid Solution. It turned out that I had hypothyroidism, and had it for several years.  I recommend this book to everyone. 

     Never ever accept, "The lab test was fine." You need to take a proactive interest in your own body, and always investigate and research until your eyes bleed. Hypothyroidism is an undiagnosed epidemic affecting men and women,  because doctors treat lab results, not symptoms. My friend gave me the name of a doctor who treated the patient, not the lab results. He started me on thyroid medication and three weeks later, I was pregnant with number six.

     My OB had told me when I was having trouble getting pregnant, to be happy with the five GOD gave me and accept that my baby making days were over. I could not accept anyone's advice, because I knew in my heart there was another one coming.  I was forty-one when number six was born, forty-three when number seven was born and one month shy of forty-six when number eight was born.  I guess my experienced OB was wrong, because he was operating out of a textbook, while I was operating from my faith in GOD and what the Bible says.  

     Before each baby was conceived, I knew that another one was coming.  GOD has put that child and the burning desire to have another in my heart.  I can prove that because after number eight, we named Max, because we reached our Max for the first time in twenty-one years. For years, Psalm 37:4 has been my life's verse.  Now, I understand why.  

    When we delight ourselves in the LORD, the desires of your heart He gave us.  (The proper translation from the original Hebrew) The Hebrew word NATAN, means set, put, hence the reason why we desire a said thing is because GOD wants us to desire it and pray our hearts out to get it. 

     Never ever accept what anyone else tells you if GOD has told you differently. Everyone tells me that my "dream/vision" is my own, that it was my own desire, and that I made up all the signs GOD has given me in my imagination.   GOD has again proven that it is His will for my life. This time, it hasn't been only 18 months, but almost ten years. 

    When I first began this work of writing for the LORD, back then, you could not have convinced me that I would go ten years without seeing any fruit from my labor for the LORD.  I'm glad He has hidden any fruit from me, because the flawed human I am, I know that I would have and still would have let success go to my head. I'm thankful that very rarely do I get a letter from a reader telling me just how much my writing has helped them. The last thing I need is praise from humans.

     It is a rare thing for any person to be able to properly handle long range and huge success in their field or craft.  That kind of "praise and worship" from the public will feed the beastly ego in all of us whether that person is a believer in Jesus or not.  Just because one believes and follows His ways, does not mean that they are not easily tripped up by the minions the devil sends in his strategy to defeat us. We are all human, and we all fail and fall.  I'm so glad that all my failures and falls were done while I was still a nobody.  Back when I first started writing, I wanted a great deal of fruit and success, however, seeing how many times I have failed at my job, I am so happy that I have more failures under my belt than successes.

Looking for GOD in all the Wrong Places!

     These are the OT prophecies the western church ignores, because they are so caught up in the rapture lie. Can anyone really believe that millions of martyrs suffered unspeakable atrocities and died for the faith, and yet the Laodicean church thinks GOD will spare them the suffering that is coming, called Jacob's Trouble?  What did Yeshua call the Laodicean church?  He equated it with vomit.  That is the western Christian church today, the wealthy incorporated church. 

 

Malachi 2:7

     “For the lips of a priest should keep knowledge, And people should seek the law from his mouth; For he is the messenger of the Lord of hosts. 8 But you have departed from the way; You have caused many to stumble at the law. You have corrupted the covenant of Levi,” Says the Lord of hosts. 9 “Therefore I also have made you contemptible and base Before all the people, Because you have not kept My ways  But have shown partiality in the law.”  

 
     11 For Judah has profaned The Lord’s holy institution which He loves: He has married the daughter of a foreign god. 12 May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob The man who does this, being awake and aware,  Yet who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts! 13 And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands.

 

   YHWH  is not revealing His truth to the western (contemporary) church anymore.  The western contemporary church has chosen the idol of free will and grace not Law.  The narrative the church teaches is that the Law is obsolete and we are under Grace to live as we believe best.  The average contemporary western Christian is so obsessed with the Rapture doctrine, that they have forsaken the true teaching of Yeshua who taught what Moses taught.  I would venture to bet that there are very few who even understand the origins of this false doctrine of the Rapture.  Most western Christians don't care to research for themselves, because if their pastor said it, then it must be true.  After all, he got a seminary degree, so he must be correct in his theology, right?  Has it ever occurred to the average Christian that the seminaries could be wrong?  

    The rapture lie began in 1830 with a lawyer who was brand new to the faith. He was a corrupt lawyer who became a recent convert and in his arrogance, he wrote his own version of the Bible called the Scofield Study Bible. Look it up. The church got it's doctrine of the rapture from the commentary notes of a corrupted new convert, who didn't know the Whole Counsel of the Law.  The devil knew that the church would cling on to this because it appeals to the flesh of avoiding suffering.

    How do I know this to be true beyond a shadow of a doubt? Because I've "Lived Like Jeremiah in Job's World."  

Jeremiah 1: “Therefore prepare yourself and arise, And speak to them all that I command you. Do not be dismayed before their faces, Lest I dismay you before them. 18 For behold, I have made you this day A fortified city and an iron pillar, And bronze walls against the whole land— Against the kings of Judah, Against its princes, Against its priests, And against the people of the land. 19 They will fight against you, But they shall not prevail against you. For I am with you,” says the Lord, “to deliver you.”
 

    How do I know this to the message to the Gentile Christian church today? It is because for 55 years, I thought I was the granddaughter of an Italian Immigrant Roman Catholic. As it turned out, I found out in 2018 that I was  the granddaughter of a JEWISH Italian Immigrant from the tribe of Judah.   It all started to make perfect sense why GOD pulled me out of the corrupt system called the incorporated church.  It has become the whore of Babylon.  

  There is a great awakening happening in the world today by the Spirit of GOD.  This great awakening is taking His True Remnant back to the Torah, not for salvation but for working out our salvation in fear and trembling.  I never thought I would say this, but there is actually more freedom in the 613 Mosaic Laws than in the thousands of new church rules established by men over the years. 

     One church teaches one that a woman can't teach or wear slacks, another teaches that Paul's Epistles are GOD new commandments.  One teaches that drinking any alcohol is a sin, yet no where can that be found in the Torah.  Far be it from me to disqualify Paul as an Apostle assigned by GOD to the Gentiles, because he was.  The only One who can create a Commandment is GOD Himself through the Torah and Yeshua who only repeated His Father's commandments.  

Leviticus 19:18You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.

     The problem with the western church  is with the gentiles reading Paul's letter incorrectly. A great teacher named David Pawson said it like this: "Imagine you are in a public place and someone next to you is on their cell phone and all you can hear is one end of the conversation.  You can only assume what the other person is saying, and yet you could be completely off base chasing rabbit trails.  Paul's letter were like that.  They were answers to questions and issues facing those particular churches.  Not all those issues and questions apply to every believer.  I can assure you that Paul never intended his letter to become equal with the Scripture from which he quoted. 

“They shall be Mine,” says the Lord of hosts, “On the day that I make them My jewels.  And I will spare them

As a man spares his own son who serves him.”   Then you shall again discern

Between the righteous and the wicked,

Between one who serves God

And one who does not serve Him.

Malachi 3:17-18

Psalm 32:8

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.

     November 2008 when my eldest child got engaged to the devil incarnate who we thought was Prince Charming, I had no idea that the next nine months would be the worst nine months of my life.  In August 2009, I heard in my spirit, GOD directly telling me that my daughter would not be back in my house or life for seven years. Of course I doubted I heard correctly; I absolutely refused to believe that the worst case scenario would happen. I thought, there was no way I could survive seven years being completely cut off from my first born.

     For the next seven years, I continued to doubt what I heard was correct. Each passing month proved it to be true, however. Graduations, stroke, dual cancers, none of those brought her home. The closer I got to the seven year mark, the more that feeling in my gut convicted me that what I heard was right.  When I found out she was divorcing the devil incarnate seven years to the month from when she got engaged to him, then I really started to believe that my gut feeling was the Holy Spirit saying, "What did I tell you?"

      August of 2016 I had all eight of my children sitting down at a wonderful family dinner for the first time since Thanksgiving 2008. When I started to get all weepy, like I always do, I went out to my deck swing where I have the best talks with GOD, and where He told me that she would not be home for seven years, it hit me like  ton of bricks. It was SEVEN years to the month exactly from when I perceived He told me and when it truly happened.

     I have had other instances, like my husband's cancer and my own that GOD gave me a heads up on years before it happened. His cancer took 18 years to manifest as the exact same cancer He told me it would be. Mine took 2 but I had no idea what kind it would be. When it turned out to be an extremely rare one, even MORE rare in women, and even more rare in women my age, then I knew I had heard from GOD two years prior.

    I've learned to really rely on that gut instinct, that voice in the back of my head, which I now know to be the Holy Spirit. What GOD puts in my head that He intends to do, He in fact does it, regardless of how many years past before He does it.

GOD'S  Sovereignty

 vs  

Man's Sovereignty 

 Ecclesiastes 1:15

What is crooked cannot be straightened, and what is lacking cannot be counted.

Ecclesiastes 7:13

Consider the work of God, For who is able to straighten what He has bent?

The old argument of free will over GOD's selection has been something I have studied for the past ten years. I bet every prophet in the OT begged to be relieved of their duty. Jonah did, Jeremiah did, Amos did, but GOD wouldn't let them go their own way. I have begged to be let go of this path GOD has me on, and the answer has been no.

In a way there is a freedom in not having free will. I can't mess up GOD's plan with my own stubborn insistence of having things my way. If GOD has given a man the ability to choose free will over GOD's will, then that free will has become an idol, and that man never really belonged to GOD. If we choose to make good choices with our free will, then that free will of choosing the right thing can breed a pride in our heart that only GOD can see. On the other hand, the fact that I can neither choose my free will over GOD's plan or even choose to walk GOD's path, (because many times I've tried to leave). He has always pulled me back on this path against my own will. That is humbling, because He chose my path, I did not. I have not been given the free will to leave it. I didn't choose to follow GOD, He imposed Himself on me, because He has a plan that I do not know. He has a work for me to do that I cannot see. He sees the ending, I cannot see. He sees the person He will mold me into that I cannot see.

I have rested in the assurance that what GOD called me to, He WILL finish and there is no way a man's free will to say no could jeopardize that. It has been too hard of a walk, flooded with tears. If the Adonai I have worshiped, leaned on, and trusted, could leave the results into the hands of a man, there would be no use in perseverance. I have to trust that His plan and path is better than one I would have chosen. I have to trust that I will be deliriously happy in the end, because GOD had His way and I did not have mine.

David did not have a choice, Joseph did not have a choice. Saul did not have a choice on the road to Damascus. He was called, and there was no way of getting out of it. He didn't plan to go to Macedonia, but GOD put a man in his dream to beg Paul to come. GOD gave Joseph dreams of where to take Mary and Yeshua.

I have studied that OT, inside, outside, and upside down, and I see people who were called to a task, sometimes against their own will, and GOD kept them on that path. He has done that to me. He robbed me of my original dreams, and put new ones in my heart and "forced" me to want them. Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Those words "shall give" in Hebrew mean "set/put."

I have pleaded to get off this road because it was fraught with Noah's Flood's worth of tears. I wouldn't be here doing this if I could have had my own way. I couldn't resist His Grace in 1989 when I became born again. My testimony will prove that. Every child I had, GOD put that desire into my heart, until Max. After that, I did not want anymore. I even found myself pregnant at 48 years old, and I was mad. I didn't want another baby. When I found out that I miscarried, I was relieved, because I knew Max was last, because we named him Max because we reached our Max, and eight is enough! (pun intended).

Proverbs 19:21

Many plans are in a person’s heart, But the advice of the Lord will stand.

KJ21

Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.

Psalm 33:10

The Lord nullifies the plan of nations; He frustrates the plans of peoples.

I tried to quit so many times, because I stopped believing He was going to do something, because the evidence proved that, but He dragged me back in kicking and screaming. He has to be Sovereign even over a man's decisions or He wouldn't be the Almighty, Creator of the Universe. He has to have that right to be GOD. He has allowed us a certain amount of free will, but it is subject to His Sovereign plan. I have leaned on these verses to keep me going, knowing that GOD will put all the puzzle pieces where they belong when they belong there.

 Psalm 24 

The earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness, The world and those who dwell therein.

The Lord Considers the Heart

Proverbs 21:

The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord,  like the rivers of water;

He turns it wherever He wishes.

Here is how He taught me. GOD puts us on His Cruise Ship to Paradise and plans all the port stops along the way. We are free to move around the ship any place we want to go, even if that is a bad place. We will suffer the consequences, but we cannot jump ship. There are plenty of times man has thought GOD was leading him a certain way, and the end result was failure. It was the man who got it wrong, not GOD. Man's number one sin is pride, and it comes in all shapes and sizes, as well as resides in man's free will, to an extent.

Psalm 37:23 

The steps of a man are established by the LORD, and He delights in his way.

Job 42:2

 “I know that Thou canst do all things, And that no purpose of Thine can be thwarted.

Job 12:14

“To God belong wisdom and power;  counsel and understanding are his. What he tears down cannot be rebuilt;   those he imprisons cannot be released.

Isn't  GOD  Pro-Choice?

      For as much as you are not going to agree with me on this,  as a devoted lover of Yeshua, student of the Whole Counsel of GOD, and faithful servant of the Most High, in the Abortions debate, I am most assuredly pro-choice because YHVH is pro-choice. Point number 1: GOD put the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil INSIDE the Garden of Eden and gave Adam the choice, hence GOD is pro-choice. He wants us to choose the right path. Deuteronomy 28 supports this. GOD wanted his people to choose to obey, and he gave the consequences of obedience versus disobedience. 

     2. Every human created with a brain has a soul. As a woman who has had four miscarriages, I'm well aware that the brain is formed around week five after conception. What I lost was had no brain, because they were too early, yet there was "tissue" there. So, life does begin as conception, but it doesn't always survive. You may call that a weak argument, but thousands of processes have to occur for this to happen. That's why miscarriages are so prevalent. I birthed 8 children, but I had 4 miscarriages, so that is a 50% ratio. That's pretty high. Any abortion done before the brain forms may or may not have been a viable life anyway. (Weak argument, I know, but only GOD knows.) GOD's tests the heart, not the actions. 

    3. Who are having abortions? Is it loving Christian women? I dare say not. GOD told his servants to completely annihilate the Canaanites because of their evil practices. If those types of women had those babies, would they be loved completely? Maybe, maybe not. Would they grow up to become Christians? Maybe, maybe not. The likelihood is about 10% of them. Hence, nine out of ten of those babies born to secular mothers would likely perish. I can safely use that figure because I grew up in a secular family and out of six children, I was the only one called and born-again. I am not just talking my nuclear family but grandparents on both sides, plus aunts, uncles and cousins. I am the only lover of Jesus, and have been for 33 years. 

     This leads to point number 4. Why did GOD have His servants annihilate entire nations, including women, children and babies? 1 Samuel 15:3. Did GOD wipe out women, children, infants, and pregnant women at Sodom and Gomorrah, and at Jericho? Yes, He did. Why? Because those children would have grown up to become just like their child-sacrificing, pagan parents, because their parents did, and so on and so forth. So, when GOD wiped the children and infants out, He saved their souls. Are you following me here? Where do these babies go who are aborted who have souls? They go straight to the Father's arms, 100% of them. So, maybe GOD allows abortion in order to save souls. (Romans 8:28) 

     GOD sometimes allows sin to occur if in the end it brings about a good outcome, example, David and Bathsheba - Solomon and the Temple. He doesn't approve of it, but by His Sovereign will, He allows it. Consider the numbers. If say five people plus the mother are involved in a typical abortion, (Nurses, doctors, receptionist, office manager..,) it's likely that five out of those six people will likely end up in hell, whereas the 100% of the babies end up in the Father's arms. 

     LAST and most important point, the anti-abortion movement has become a Jericho's wall, a hill to die on, and sadly those dying are those outside of the church, because this hill and wall is nothing more than combative Christianity. It is keeping unbelievers out of the church, and church people behind their self-built anti-abortion-Jericho's wall.  Yes we are fighting for life, but that's not how the lost see it. As one who was saved at twenty-six and was very much a progressive feminist who was very much pro-choice/abortion then, I can tell you, Satan has filters on their hearts and souls to only see this as combative and hateful Christianity. I went from pro-abortion to anti-birth control.  Only GOD can change a heart that much. The Holy Spirit must come into a heart for it to be able to defeat the filter the enemy has put there to block the Gospel. How many women come to the LORD out of guilt for what they had done? There is the Holy Spirit at work. Again, GOD allowed sin to save a soul. 

     With all this said, the sale of fetus parts is abhorring and an abomination, and those who do this will be called to account. Yet, my arguments are more about the souls of these babies and where they end up, because isn't that what matters more? This life is fraught with pain, (Job 14) and those babies are being spared all that hurt.  It's not about being born, it's about where we end up when we die. Ecclesiastes 4:2. Even Solomon said, blessed are those who are never born. I was born into a horrible family and suffered emotional pain that is indescribable and still am and I am 58 years old. Even my husband bailed on our marriage after 36 years and ten times vowing to remain faithful to GOD, me, and his children. 

     You may think my arguments are weak, however, I don't think like normal people. I think in a different plane. Isaiah 55:8-9. I try to see things from GOD's point of view, and we all know that GOD's point of view is usually opposite of sinful man's point of view.

  Heaven's Walk of Fame

Just like there are celebrities in the world, music stars and all that, well in heaven there is also a group that are celebrities. Like all the heroes of the Bible, they are on Heaven's Walk of Fame. Well, I'm on it, also. I know this for sure, because GOD sees in us who He will make us, and that's who we already are in Heaven, regardless of who we are here.

Let's take Gideon for an example. 11 The angel of the Lord came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites. 12 When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” The ANGEL of the LORD came down, sat w/the weakest runt in the weakest family in the weakest tribe and called him "Mighty Warrior." I love Gideon's response.

13 “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied,

His reaction was like total unbelief. He had no idea that he was going to be in the Biblical Walk of Fame, but GOD did, because GOD chose him and wrote his story ahead of time. THAT's how GOD sees us.

He sees us like He saw Gideon, not how Gideon saw himself.

15 “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.”

When GOD chose me to write LOVE'S MUSES, I said to Him, regarding myself, "Pardon me Lord, but do you know who I am? I am a total screw up." Yet, my name is on the Red Carpet of Fame in Heaven. I'm not delusional, I'm finally accepting the truth. The thing about being on that Red Carpet in Heaven, we don't get to walk on it until the work is done, and we are already gone from this earth and are in Heaven. Most of the time, people think we are crazy and they dismiss us or are mean to us.

One thing about us famous future heavenly dwellers is that while we are here on earth, in order to keep us humble, GOD will prevent our work from bearing much fruit, and no one recognizes us while we are still down here. Just as I wrote in an earlier blog post: CANCER, DEATH, AND GOOD HUMBLE PIE, AMONG OTHERS, there will always be a thorn in the flesh for anyone chosen to be walk on Heaven's Walk of Fame. A thorn in the flesh can be anything from a physical limitation to an emotional handicap. I can assure you, GOD will keep you humble by whatever means He needs.

GOD has graciously given me a vision for two other of His heavenly superstars already on the Walk of Fame up there but nobodies down here, like me. That is both a gift and a burden, because it's my job to show them this truth about themselves. Who are you in the Kingdom of Heaven? Are you are a superstar in the making, or are you just happy to be among those chosen to be heaven bound. You are chosen, you realize that, I hope. You did NOT find GOD, He came for you.

The BEST Dream I have Ever Had.

    I once had this awesome dream. I had asked God one day what it was like those last day between death waiting for New Life. It was shortly after my mother died, and I don't remember if that it was that night or shortly thereafter, but I had a dream. I was laying in a bed. My family was all around me. I was "dreaming" and in this blank space, or so I thought I was dreaming. I was attached to a bed by my sleeve. I heard myself breathing loudly. That breathing was tethering me to that bed. I heard a man whisper in my left ear. "You can go now, Kristina."

    Then, a man started walking to me in this empty space where I was anchored to the bed. We didn't speak, but our spirits spoke to each other. I asked him, "Is it time to go now?" He nodded his head. I knew that total peace awaited me, and I was excited to go. Then, I looked up at the bed because I did not know how to detach myself. I asked him "What do I do?"

    He said, "You just stop breathing, because you aren't going to need that where we are going."

    I said, "Okay, but how do I do that?"

    He said, "Any way you want."

    I understood and I looked up at the people around my bed. I thought about it. I took one long deep breath. Everyone sat up and looked at me, and I saw them, and felt so sorry for them, because they didn't know it was my last breath, that there would not be another one coming. So, I let the air out really slow. They all stared at me me waiting to see if there was another one coming. I was sad for them, because I knew the crying would begin then. I looked at the man in front of me, and he turned and started walking away, so I gave them one last glance, and then I followed after him.

    Immediately, I woke up from that dream. It was so real, and I thought, We won't be breathing in heaven. We won't need our lungs. It was then that I knew God sent me that dream. Ever since then, I have wanted to go. I can't though, I have to finish my work here.

    As a cancer survivor from a very rare cancer, I know cancer lies dormant in my body, waiting to make its reappearance. My days are winding down, and I quite look forward to the end, because, the only scars in heaven are the ones holding me right now as I keep breathing here with the scars on my face; and on my heart.

I hope you enjoy this song, as it is so true. We don't have enough time with the ones we love, and we only know that after they are gone.

The Only Scars in Heaven

By Casting Crowns