BECAUSE NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR A WORK FROM GOD
The Wrath of Job
In His Own Words
Edited by
Kristina L. Allen
All rights reserved.
No part of this book
may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means
without the written permission of the author.
Printed in the United
States of America
The views expressed
in this work are solely those of the author alone.
All Scripture is
taken from The Complete Jewish Bible
Copyright
© 1998 by David H. Stern. All rights reserved. No portion of this book
may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or
by any means without prior written permission of the publisher. Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)
Copyright
©1998
by David H. Stern. All rights reserved.
Dedicated to the emotionally injured people who were shamed into taking it like Job.
This is
how Job really took it.
Introduction
The church has done a
splendid job of driving people out by the pew-loads because of man’s failed
attempts at stuffing GOD in their little theology box. Church people are too quick to try and
explain GOD’s actions to hurting people based on their incorrect understanding
of the Bible. Theology is man’s way of trying to explain what GOD knows man
will never be able to comprehend, and He does not expect that of us. I’ve spoken to many people who at one time or
another, were not able to manipulate GOD into performing some kind of
miraculous act they desperately wanted when a parent, child, or sibling was not
spared from the ravishes of some insidious disease and may even have passed
away far too early in that loved one’s eyes.
In their frustration, with their loving but difficult to understand
Heavenly Father, they decided in their mind that not believing in Him was
better than believing in a cruel, uncaring GOD.
It is a lot easier to say, “I don’t believe in GOD,” than “I hate you,
GOD.” No one understands this better
than me. For decades, I’ve spent
countless tearful nights wishing I could just stop believing in GOD, rather
than accept His Sovereign choices in my life, which to me seem downright cruel. Yet, He has continued to prove His existence
and participation in my life with His chosen Sovereign will, even if it was
completely contrary to what I thought, wanted or believed it should be, based
on the principles in His Word.
The last thing this world
needs is another commentary on the Book of Job in the Bible. This is not a commentary, it just includes
this brief introduction to the true man called Job, not the fictionalized one
that has been illuminated over the centuries.
Having been targeted by GOD to live a certain amount of years in the
“fiery furnace of affliction,” I think I understand Job and his plight more
than most. While trying to explain some
of my gut-wrenching circumstances written into my life story by the Creator
Himself, many well-meaning church people, while trying to be understanding and
empathetic, would direct me to Job, exhorting me to “take it like the man,
himself.” If I tried to correct some on
how angry Job was at GOD, blaming Him for his trials, many would argue,
retreating to the fictionalized version, or worse, when shown proof by Job’s
own words would in turn block me rather than admit they may have learned it
wrong. Many of my fellow believer’s
advice, although well intended, usually did more damage than good.
After Job’s calamities, chapter
1 as well as chapter 2 do indeed say, “In all this Job did not curse GOD or
sin,” That is where the purity of Job’s character and reaction ends. From there on out, Job sinned, and he sinned
in a huge way. The version I’ve chosen to use is the Complete Jewish Bible by
David Stern, because, in my opinion, it is the most accurate Hebrew to English
translation by scholars who understand the context, culture, historical
context, and the mindset of the Jewish worshiper.
For example, Job 13:15 is
probably one of the most misquoted and misused verses in that entire book,
because most people not only have the transliteration from the Hebrew
incorrect, but they manage to omit the second half of that verse where Job
exclaims that he will defend his (righteous) ways right to YHVH GOD’s
face. Now, if that isn’t the sin of
pride, then I don’t know what is. The
correct transliteration from the Hebrew to English is.
“Look, he will kill me — I don’t expect more,
but I will still defend my ways to his face.”
It is my belief that the
incorrect way that it has been used over the centuries is the devil’s way of
shaming the believer who has fallen from the weight of a burden of unrelieved
anguish, delayed deliverance, or an answer which was not what one has hoped.
Years or even decades of hope deferred, which makes the heart sick says
Proverbs 13:12, if gone on for too long, doesn’t just make the heart sick, it
can kill it. Also, in reading the entire book with the accusations of Job’s
“friends,” I do believe that we tend to
get lost in our defense of poor Job, attacked by the devil, then again by men
who were supposed to be the comfort of friends. We tend to look too much in the
fault with their discourse to Job, and we fail to see Job’s accusatory tone
toward the GOD who targeted His “arrows” at Job for some unspecified reason, in
Job’s eyes.
One weekend, about five
years ago, when I was feeling particularly despaired, I got out a notebook and
copied down only Job’s words. For the
first time in nearly thirty years, I got an eye-opening revelation into the
real Job, not the fictional one the church likes to compare GOD’s suffering
servants to. It is for that reason that I will not be writing a commentary on
Job’s words but will just be putting them out there for your own interpretation
and the Spirit’s guide. I do not want to
guide your thinking in any of these words. All circumstances in our lives are
different, and GOD sends the Holy Spirit to us to teach us individualized
lessons based on our circumstances in our lives at any given time. In John 16:13, Yeshua (Jesus) told his
disciples that when he departed the Holy Spirit would come and remind them of
all he had taught them and tell them of things to come. In 1 John 2:27, we are told that we do not
need a man to teach us (to a certain degree, my emphasis here), but that the
Holy Spirit would guide and teach us the things YHVH GOD wants us to learn when
we are ready to learn them.
So, to the reader who has
spent a couple three years to a couple three decades walking in denial of GOD’s
existence or love for you, I hope you find Job’s wrath helps bring you back to
the Father who completely understands your pain, anguish, and lack of
understanding in His infinite ways.
GOD’s ways are not our ways, (Isaiah 55:8-9), and you can usually count
on man’s thinking to be in complete contradiction to GOD’s plan and purpose. YHVH GOD, in His infinite grace and patience,
included Job’s words of wrath in His Word, and yet still honored Job. I can assure you that GOD is not mad at
you for pretending He doesn’t exist, or believe that He is unfair, unloving, or even cruel in some
instances. He wants you to see that He
understands man’s limited ability to comprehend His Sovereign ways. That is why the scholarly religious leaders
could not understand a Divine Son, coming to die a hideous death in order to
forgive us and destroy death’s sting forever.
I have removed all verse
number references, because this is how a Hebrew would have memorized and read
the writings of Job. I would rather the words come alive off the page and jump
into your heart, spilling comfort all over your jigsaw puzzled heart. This is
in no way meant to be read and consumed in one sitting. This book needs to be grazed on, one
complaint at a time. I took the liberty
of inserting page breaks where Job’s discourse was in response to what one of
his aggravating friends said in order to crush him even more.
Job did not curse GOD, but he did sin, and he did shake his fist at GOD, blame GOD, and even stop short of accusing GOD of being unfair or unjust. In His loving and patient way, YHVH allowed Job to process his pain the only way all humans know how to do, in anguish, anger, and estrangement, if that is what it takes until we can pick it up and carry it ourselves, even decades later. It was only at the end, when GOD did confront and show him just Who Job was dealing with, shaking his fist at, and nearly accusing him of being unfair, unkind, and unjust.
These words have comforted me many times, because as I listened to them
on my text-to-speech application, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me that GOD
understands my anguish, and He is not mad at me for being mad at Him. Through Job’s wrath, He made sure that we
know He knows what we are thinking, feeling, and how confused we are at His
inexplicable choices in our lives. He
is still loving, gracious, and patient while we process the pain, He Himself
ordained into our lives.
GOD put this Jubilee Dream
in my heart eleven years ago, and I had no idea that I had to live most of
those years in the fiery furnace of affliction, while He refined me and burned
off the dross in order to carry out His plan. Instead of me living for Him,
which I spent the previous twenty-one years doing with every fiber of my being,
I learned I was doing it all wrong. I
was living for Him when all He wants is to work through us. To my dismay, none of my earlier plans or
dreams came to pass, as noble as they might have been. Unbeknownst to me, GOD was heating up the
fiery furnace of affliction, getting it ready for my adversaries to throw me
into it, kicking and screaming, I might add. That verse about GOD’s grace being
sufficient in our weakness has come to mean so much to me in keeping me from
hating myself, hating on Him, and giving up all together. Please read Job’s words slowly digesting
every word, realizing Job was far from perfect, and GOD does not expect
perfection from any of us.
Job 3
Job said,
“Perish the day I was born
and the night that said, ‘A man is conceived.’
May that day be darkness,
may God on high not seek it,
may no light shine on it,
may gloom dark as death defile it,
may clouds settle on it,
may it be terrified by its own blackness.
As for that night, may thick darkness seize it,
may it not be joined to the days of the year,
may it not be numbered among the months;
may that night be desolate,
may no cry of joy be heard in it;
may those who curse days curse it,
those who[secures] could rouse Livyatan;
may the stars of its twilight be dark,
may it look for light but get none,
may it never see the shimmer of dawn —
because it didn’t shut the doors of the womb I was in
and shield my eyes from trouble.
“If I had been stillborn,
if I had died at birth,
had there been no knees to receive me
or breasts for me to suck.
Then I would be lying still and in peace,
I would have slept and been at rest,
along with kings and their earthly advisers,
who rebuilt ruins for themselves,
or with princes who had [plenty of] gold,
who filled their houses with silver.
Or I could have been like a hidden, miscarried
child that never saw light.
“There the wicked cease their raging,
there the weary are at rest,
prisoners live at peace together
without hearing a taskmaster’s yells.
Great and small alike are there,
and the slave is free of his master.
“So why must light be given to the miserable
and life to the bitter in spirit?
They long for death, but it never comes;
they search for it more than for buried treasure;
when at last they find the grave,
they are so happy they shout for joy.
[Why give light] to a man who wanders blindly,
whom God shuts in on every side?
“My sighing serves in place of my food,
and my groans pour out in a torrent;
for the thing I feared has overwhelmed me,
what I dreaded has happened to me.
I have no peace, no quiet, no rest;
and anguish keeps coming.”
Job
responded:
“I wish my frustration could be weighed,
all my calamities laid on the scales!
They would outweigh the sands of the seas!
No wonder, then, that my words come out stammered!
For the arrows of Shaddai find their mark in me,
and my spirit is drinking in their poison;
the terrors of God are arrayed against me.
“Does a wild donkey bray when it has grass?
Does an ox low when it has fodder?
Can food without flavor be eaten without salt?
Do egg whites have any taste?
I refuse to touch them;
such food makes me sick.
“If only I could have my wish granted,
and God would give me what I’m hoping for —
that God would decide to crush me,
that he would let his hand loose and cut me off!
Then I would feel consoled;
so that even in the face of unending pain,
I would be able to rejoice;
for I have not denied the words of the Holy One.
“Have I enough strength to go on waiting?
What end can I expect, that I should be patient?
Is my strength the strength of stones?
Is my flesh made of bronze?
Clearly, I have no help in myself;
common sense has been driven from me.
“A friend should be kind to an unhappy man,
even to one who abandons Shaddai.
But my brothers are as deceptive as vadis,
as vadi streams that soon run dry;
they may turn dark with ice
and be hidden by piled-up snow;
but as the weather warms up, they vanish;
when it’s hot, they disappear.
Their courses turn this way and that;
they go up into the confusing waste and are lost.
The caravans from Tema look for them,
the travelers from Sh’va hope to find them;
but they are disappointed, because they were confident;
on arrival there, they are frustrated.
“For now, you have become like that —
just seeing my calamity makes you afraid.
Did I say to you, ‘Give me something,’
or, ‘From your wealth, offer a bribe on my behalf,’
or, ‘Save me from the enemy’s grip,’
or, ‘Redeem me from the clutches of oppressors’?
“Teach me, and I will be silent.
Make me understand how I am at fault.
Honest words are forceful indeed,
but what do your arguments prove?
Do you think [your own] words constitute argument,
while the speech of a desperate man is merely wind?
I suppose you would even throw dice for an orphan
or barter away your friend!
“So now, I beg you, look at me!
Would I lie to your face?
Think it over, please; don’t let wrong be done.
Think it over again: my cause is just.
Am I saying something wrong?
Can’t I recognize trouble when I taste it?
“Human
life on earth is like serving in the army;
yes, we drudge through our days like a hired worker,
like a slave longing for shade,
like a worker thinking only of his wages.
So I am assigned months of meaninglessness;
troubled nights are my lot.
When I lie down, I ask,
‘When can I get up?’
But the night is long, and I keep tossing
to and fro until daybreak.
My flesh is clothed with worms and dirt,
my skin forms scabs that ooze pus.
My days pass more swiftly than a weaver’s shuttle
and come to their end without hope.
“Remember that my life is but a breath;
my eyes will never again see good times.
The eye that now sees me will see me no more;
while your eyes are on me, I will be gone.
Like a cloud dissolving and disappearing,
so he who descends to Sh’ol won’t come back up.
He will not return again to his house,
and his home will know him no more.
“Therefore I will not restrain my mouth
but will speak in my anguish of spirit
and complain in my bitterness of soul.
Am I the sea, or some sea monster,
that you put a guard over me?
When I think that my bed will comfort me,
that my couch will relieve my complaint,
then you terrify me with dreams
and frighten me with visions.
I would rather be strangled;
death would be better than these bones of mine.
I hate it! I won’t live forever,
so leave me alone, for my life means nothing.
“What are mere mortals, that you make so much of them?
Why do you keep them on your mind?
Why examine them every morning
and test them every moment?
Won’t you ever take your eyes off of me,
at least long enough for me to swallow my spit?
“Suppose I do sin — how do I harm you,
you scrutinizer of humanity?
Why have you made me your target,
so that I am a burden to you?
Why don’t you pardon my offense
and take away my guilt?
For soon I will lie down in the dust;
you will seek me, but I will be gone.”
Then Job
responded:
“Indeed, I know that this is so;
but how can a human win a case against God?
Whoever might want to argue with him
could not answer him one [question] in a thousand.
His heart is so wise, his strength so great —
who can resist him and succeed?
“He moves the mountains, although they don’t know it,
when he overturns them in his anger.
He shakes the earth from its place;
its supporting pillars tremble.
He commands the sun, and it fails to rise;
he shuts up the stars under his seal.
He alone spreads out the sky
and walks on the waves in the sea.
He made the Great Bear, Orion, the Pleiades
and the hidden constellations of the south.
He does great, unsearchable things,
wonders beyond counting.
He can go right by me, and I don’t see him;
he moves past without my being aware of him.
If he kills [people], who will ask why?
Who will say to him, ‘What are you doing?’
God will not withdraw his anger —
even Rahav’s supporters submit to him.
“How much less can I answer him
and select my arguments against him!
Even if I were right, I wouldn’t answer;
I could only ask for mercy from my judge.
If I summoned him, and he answered me,
I still can’t believe he would listen to my plea.
He could break me with a storm;
he could multiply my wounds for no reason,
to the point where I couldn’t even breathe —
with such bitterness he could fill me!
If it’s a matter of force, look how mighty he is;
if justice, who can summon him to court?
Even if I’m right, my own mouth will condemn me;
if I’m innocent, it would pronounce me guilty.
“I am innocent. Don’t I know myself?
But I’ve had enough of this life of mine!
So I say it’s all the same —
he destroys innocent and wicked alike.
When disaster brings sudden death,
he laughs at the plight of the innocent.
The earth has been given to the power of the wicked;
he covers the faces of its judges —
if it isn’t he, then who is it?
My days pass on more swiftly than a runner;
they flee without seeing anything good.
They skim by like skiffs built of reeds,
like an eagle swooping down on its prey.
“If I say, ‘I’ll forget my complaining,
I’ll put off my sad face and be cheerful,’
then I’m still afraid of all my pain,
and I know you will not hold me innocent.
I will be condemned,
so why waste my efforts?
Even if I washed myself in melted snow
and cleansed my hands with lye,
you would plunge me into the muddy pit,
till my own clothes would detest me.
“For he is not merely human like me;
there is no answer that I could give him
if we were to come together in court.
There is no arbitrator between us
who could lay his hand on us both.
If he would remove his rod from me
and not let his terrors frighten me,
then I would speak without fear of him;
for when I’m alone, I’m not afraid.
“I am
just worn out.
“By my life [I swear],
I will never abandon my complaint;
I will speak out in my soul’s bitterness.
I will say to God, ‘Don’t condemn me!
Tell me why you are contending with me.
Do you gain some advantage from oppressing,
from spurning what your own hands made,
from shining on the schemes of the wicked?
Do you have eyes of flesh?
Do you see as humans see?
Are your days like the days of mortals?
Are your years like human years,
that you have to seek my guilt
and search out my sin?
You know that I won’t be condemned,
yet no one can rescue me from your power.
Your own hands shaped me, they made me;
so why do you turn and destroy me?
Please remember that you made me, like clay;
will you return me to dust?
Didn’t you pour me out like milk,
then let me thicken like cheese?
You clothed me with skin and flesh
you knit me together with bones and sinews.
You granted me life and grace;
your careful attention preserved my spirit.
“‘Yet you hid these things in your heart;
I know what your secret purpose was —
to watch until I would sin
and then not absolve me of my guilt.
If I am wicked, woe to me! —
but if righteous, I still don’t dare raise my head,
because I am so filled with shame,
so soaked in my misery.
You rise up to hunt me like a lion,
and you keep treating me in such peculiar ways.
You keep producing fresh witnesses against me,
your anger against me keeps growing,
your troops assail me, wave after wave.
“‘Why did you bring me out of the womb?
I wish I had died there where no eye could see me.
I would have been as if I had never existed,
I would have been carried from womb to grave.
Aren’t my days few? So stop!
Leave me alone, so I can cheer up a little
before I go to the place of no return,
to the land of darkness and death-dark gloom,
a land of gloom like darkness itself,
of dense darkness and utter disorder,
where even the light is dark.’”
Job
responded:
“No doubt you are [the only] people [that matter];
and when you die, so will wisdom.
But I too have a brain, as much as you,
In no way am I inferior to you.
Besides, who doesn’t know things like these?
“Anyone who calls on God,
and he answers him,
becomes a laughingstock to his friends —
they make fun of an innocent, blameless man.
Those at ease have contempt for misfortune,
for the blow that strikes somebody already staggering.
The tents of robbers prosper,
[the homes of] those who anger God are secure,
those who carry their gods in their hands.
“But ask the animals — they will teach you —
and the birds in the air — they will tell you;
or speak to the earth — it will teach you —
and the fish in the sea will inform you:
every one of them knows
that the hand of Adonai has done this!
In his hand is the life of every living thing
and the spirit of every human being.
Shouldn’t the ear test words,
just as the palate tastes food?
Is wisdom [only] with aged men?
discernment [only] with long life?
“With God are wisdom and power;
he has [good] counsel and understanding.
When he breaks something down, it can’t be rebuilt;
when he imprisons someone, he can’t be released.
When he holds back water, there is drought;
when he sends it out, it overruns the land.
With him are strength and common sense;
both the misled and those who mislead are his.
He leads counselors away captive,
he makes fools of judges.
He removes authority from kings,
then binds them up [as prisoners].
He leads cohanim away captive
and overthrows those long in power.
Those who are trusted he deprives of speech,
and he removes the discernment of the aged.
He pours contempt on princes
and loosens the belt of the strong.
He discloses the deepest recesses of darkness
and brings light into shadows dark as death.
He makes nations great and destroys them;
he enlarges nations, then leads them away.
He removes understanding from a country’s leaders
and makes them wander in trackless deserts.
They grope in unlit darkness;
he makes them stagger like drunks.
“All this
I have seen with my own eyes;
with my own ears I have heard and understood it.
Whatever you know, I know too;
I am not inferior to you.
However, it’s Shaddai I want to speak with;
I want to prove my case to God.
But you, what you do is whitewash with lies;
you are all witch doctors!
I wish you would just stay silent;
for you, that would be wisdom!
“Now listen to my reasoning,
pay attention to how I present my dispute.
Is it for God’s sake that you speak so wickedly?
for him that you talk deceitfully?
Do you need to take his side
and plead God’s case for him?
If he examines you, will all go well?
Can you deceive him, as one man deceives another?
If you are secretly flattering [him],
he will surely rebuke you.
Doesn’t God’s majesty terrify you?
Aren’t you overcome with dread of him?
Your maxims are garbage-proverbs;
your answers crumble like clay.
“So be quiet! Let me be! I’ll do the talking,
come on me what may!
Why am I taking my flesh in my teeth,
taking my life in my hands?
Look, he will kill me — I don’t expect more,
but I will still defend my ways to his face.
And this is what will save me —
that a hypocrite cannot appear before him.
“Listen closely, then, to my words;
pay attention to what I am saying.
Here, now, I have prepared my case;
I know I am in the right.
If anyone can contend with me,
I will be quiet and die!
“Only grant two things to me, God;
then I won’t hide myself from your face —
take your hand away from me,
and don’t let fear of you frighten me.
Then, if you call, I will answer.
Or let me speak, and you, answer me!
How many crimes and sins have I committed?
Make me know my transgression and sin.
Why do you hide your face
and think of me as your enemy?
Do you want to harass a wind-driven leaf?
do you want to pursue a dry straw?
Is this why you draw up bitter charges against me
and punish me for the faults of my youth?
You put my feet in the stocks,
you watch me closely wherever I go,
you trace out each footprint of mine —
though [my body] decays like something rotten
or like a moth-eaten garment.
“A human
being, born from a woman,
lives a short, trouble-filled life.
He comes up like a flower and withers away,
flees like a shadow, doesn’t last.
You fix your eyes on a creature like this?
You drag him to court with you?
Who can bring what is pure from something impure?
No one!
Since his days are fixed in advance,
the number of his months is known to you,
and you have fixed the limits which he can’t cross;
look away from him, and let him be;
so that, like a hired worker,
he can finish his day in peace.
“For a tree, there is hope
that if cut down, it will sprout again,
that its shoots will continue to grow.
Even if its roots grow old in the earth
and its stump dies in the ground,
yet at the scent of water it will bud
and put forth branches like a young plant.
But when a human being grows weak and dies,
he expires; and then where is he?
Just as water in a lake disappears,
as a river shrinks and dries up;
so a person lies down and doesn’t arise —
until the sky no longer exists;
it will not awaken,
it won’t be roused from its sleep.
“I wish you would hide me in Sh’ol,
conceal me until your anger has passed,
then fix a time and remember me!
If a man dies, will he live again?
I will wait all the days of my life
for my change to come.
You will call, and I will answer you;
you will long to see what you made again.
Whereas now you count each step of mine,
then you will not keep watch for my sin.
You will seal up my crime in a bag
and cover over my iniquity.
“Just as a mountain erodes and falls away,
its rock is removed from its place,
the water wears away its stones,
and the floods wash away its soil,
so you destroy a person’s hope.
You overpower him, and he passes on;
you change his appearance and send him away.
His children earn honor, but he doesn’t know it;
or they are brought low, but he doesn’t notice.
He feels pain only for his own flesh;
he laments only for himself.”
In
response Job said:
“I have heard this stuff so often!
Such sorry comforters, all of you!
Is there no end to words of wind?
What provokes you to answer this way?
“If I were in your place,
I too could speak as you do —
I could string phrases together against you
and shake my head at you.
I could ‘strengthen’ you with my mouth,
with lip service I could ‘ease your grief.’
If I speak, my own pain isn’t eased;
and if I don’t speak, it still doesn’t leave.
“But now he has worn me out;
you have desolated this whole community of mine.
Besides, you have shriveled me up;
and this serves to witness against me.
My being so thin rises up against me
and testifies to my face.
He tears me apart in his anger;
he holds a grudge against me;
he gnashes on me with his teeth.
“My enemies look daggers at me.
Wide-mouthed, they gape at me;
with scorn, they slap my cheeks;
they gather themselves together against me.
“God delivers me to the perverse,
throws me into the hands of the wicked.
I was at peace, and he shook me apart.
Yes, he grabbed me by the neck and dashed me to pieces.
He set me up as his target —
his archers surrounded me.
He slashes my innards and shows no mercy,
he pours my gall on the ground.
He breaks in on me again and again,
attacking me like a warrior.
“I sewed sackcloth together to cover my skin
and laid my pride in the dust;
my face is red from crying,
and on my eyelids is a death-dark shadow.
Yet my hands are free from violence,
and my prayer is pure.
“Earth, don’t cover my blood;
don’t let my cry rest [without being answered].
Even now, my witness is in heaven;
my advocate is there on high.
With friends like these as intercessors,
my eyes pour out tears to God,
that he would arbitrate between a man and God,
just as one does for his fellow human being.
For I have but few years left
before I leave on the road of no return.
“My
spirit is broken, my days are quenched,
I am marked for the grave.
Mockers are all around me;
my eye meets only their hostility.
Be my guarantor, yourself!
Who else will put up a pledge for me?
For you have shut their minds to common sense;
therefore you will not let them triumph.
Should people share with their friends
when their own children’s eyes are so sad?
“He has made me a byword among the peoples,
a creature in whose face they spit.
I am nearly blind with grief,
my limbs reduced to a shadow.
The upright are perplexed at this,
the innocent aroused against the hypocrites.
Yet the righteous hold on to their way,
and those with clean hands grow stronger and stronger.
“But as for you all, turn around! Come back! —
yet I won’t find a wise man among you.
My days are over, my plans cut off,
which I had cherished so;
but they [try to] turn [my] night into day,
[saying,] ‘Light is near!’ — in the face of darkness.
“If I hope for Sh’ol to be my house;
if I spread my couch in the dark;
if I say to the pit, ‘You are my father,’
and to worms, ‘You are my mother and sister,’
then where is my hope?
And that hope of mine, who will see it?
Only those who go down with me
to the bars of Sh’ol,
when we rest together in the dust.”
Then Job
answered:
“How long will you go on making me angry,
crushing me with words?
You’ve insulted me ten times already;
aren’t you ashamed to treat me so badly?
Even if it’s true that I made a mistake,
my error stays with me.
“You may take a superior attitude toward me
and cite my disgrace as proof against me;
but know that it’s God who has put me in the wrong
and closed his net around me.
If I cry, ‘Violence!’ no one hears me;
I cry aloud, but there is no justice.
“He has fenced off my way, so that I can’t pass;
he has covered my paths with darkness.
He has stripped me of my glory
and removed the crown from my head.
He tears every part of me down — I am gone;
he uproots my hope like a tree.
“Inflamed with anger against me,
he counts me as one of his foes.
His troops advance together,
they make their way against me
and encamp around my tent.
“He has made my brothers keep their distance,
those who know me are wholly estranged from me,
my kinsfolk have failed me,
and my close friends have forgotten me.
Those living in my house consider me a stranger;
my slave-girls too — in their view I’m a foreigner.
I call my servant, and he doesn’t answer,
even if I beg him for a favor!
“My wife can’t stand my breath,
I am loathsome to my own family.
Even young children despise me —
if I stand up, they start jeering at me.
All my intimate friends abhor me,
and those I loved have turned against me.
My bones stick to my skin and flesh;
I have escaped by the skin of my teeth.
“Pity me, friends of mine, pity me!
For the hand of God has struck me!
Must you pursue me as God does,
never satisfied with my flesh?
I wish my words were written down,
that they were inscribed in a scroll,
that, engraved with iron and filled with lead,
they were cut into rock forever!
“But I know that my Redeemer lives,
that in the end he will rise on the dust;
so that after my skin has been thus destroyed,
then even without my flesh, I will see God.
I will see him for myself,
my eyes, not someone else’s, will behold him.
My heart grows weak inside me!
“If you say, ‘How will we persecute him?’ —
the root of the matter is found in me.
You had best fear the sword,
for anger brings the punishment of the sword,
so that you will know there is judgment!”
Then Job
responded:
“Listen carefully to my words;
let this be the comfort you give me.
Bear with me as I speak;
then, after I have spoken, you can go on mocking.
“As for me, is my complaint merely to other people?
Don’t I have grounds for being short-tempered?
Look at me, and be appalled;
cover your mouth with your hand!
Whenever I recall it, I am in shock;
my whole body shudders.
“Why do the wicked go on living,
grow old and keep increasing their power?
They see their children settled with them,
their posterity assured.
Their houses are safe, with nothing to fear;
God’s rod is not on them.
Their bulls are fertile without fail,
their cows get pregnant and don’t miscarry.
They produce flocks of babies,
and their children dance around.
They sing with tambourines and lyres
and rejoice to the sound of the pipe.
They spend their days in prosperity
and go down to the grave in peace.
“Yet to God they said, ‘Leave us alone!
We don’t want to know about your ways.
What is Shaddai, that we should serve him?
What do we gain if we pray to him?’
Isn’t their prosperity already theirs?
The plans of the wicked are far from me.
“How often is the lamp of the wicked put out?
How often does their calamity come upon them?
How often does [God] deal out pain in his anger,
to make them like straw in the wind,
like chaff carried off by a storm?
God lays up for their children
[the punishment for their] iniquity.
He should lay it on [the wicked] themselves,
so that they can feel it!
Let their own eyes see their own destruction
and themselves drink the wrath of Shaddai.
What joy can they have in their family after them,
given that their months are numbered?
“Can anyone teach God knowledge?
After all, he judges those who are on high.
One person dies in his full strength,
completely at ease and content;
his pails are full of milk,
and the marrow in his bones is moist.
Another dies with embittered heart,
never having tasted happiness.
They lie down alike in the dust,
and the worm covers them both.
“Look, I know what you are thinking
and your plans to do me wrong.
You ask, ‘Where is the great man’s house?
Where is the tent where the wicked once lived?’
Haven’t you ever questioned travelers?
Don’t you accept their testimony
that the evil man is saved on the day of disaster,
rescued on the day of wrath?
So who will confront him with his ways?
Who will repay him for what he has done?
For he is carried off to the grave,
people keep watch over his tomb,
the clods of the valley are sweet to him;
so everyone follows his example,
just as before him were countless others.
“Why offer me such meaningless comfort?
Of your answers, only the perfidy remains.”
Then Job
answered:
“Today too my complaint is bitter;
my hand is weighed down because of my groaning.
I wish I knew where I could find him;
then I would go to where he is.
I would state my case before him
and fill my mouth with arguments.
I would know his answering words
and grasp what he would tell me.
Would he browbeat me with his great power?
No, he would pay attention to me.
There an upright person could reason with him;
thus I might be forever acquitted by my judge.
“If I head east, he isn’t there;
if I head west, I don’t detect him,
if I turn north, I don’t spot him;
in the south he is veiled, and I still don’t see him.
Yet he knows the way I take;
when he has tested me, I will come out like gold.
My feet have stayed in his footsteps;
I keep to his way without turning aside.
I don’t withdraw from his lips’ command;
I treasure his words more than my daily food.
“But he has no equal, so who can change him?
What he desires, he does.
He will accomplish what is decreed for me,
and he has many plans like this.
This is why I am terrified of him;
the more I think about it, the more afraid I am —
God has undermined my courage;
Shaddai frightens me.
Yet I am not cut off by the darkness;
he has protected me from the deepest gloom.
“Why are
times not kept by Shaddai?
Why do those who know him not see his days?
There are those who move boundary markers;
they carry off flocks and pasture them;
they drive away the orphan’s donkey;
as collateral, they seize the widow’s ox.
They push the needy out of the way —
the poor of the land are forced into hiding;
like wild donkeys in the wilderness,
they have to go out and scavenge food,
[hoping that] the desert
will provide food for their children.
They must reap in fields that are not their own
and gather late grapes in the vineyards of the wicked.
They pass the night without clothing, naked,
uncovered in the cold,
wet with mountain rain,
and hugging the rock for lack of shelter.
“There are those who pluck orphans from the breast
and [those who] take [the clothes of] the poor in pledge,
so that they go about stripped, unclothed;
they go hungry, as they carry sheaves [of grain];
between these men’s rows [of olives], they make oil;
treading their winepresses, they suffer thirst.
Men are groaning in the city,
the mortally wounded are crying for help,
yet God finds nothing amiss!
“There are those who rebel against the light —
they don’t know its ways or stay in its paths.
The murderer rises with the light
to kill the poor and needy;
while at night he is like a thief.
The eye of the adulterer too waits for twilight;
he thinks, ‘No eye will see me’;
but [to be sure], he covers his face.
When it’s dark, they break into houses;
in the daytime, they stay out of sight.
[None of them] know the light.
For to all of them deep darkness is like morning,
for the terrors of deep darkness are familiar to them.
“May they be scum on the surface of the water,
may their share of land be cursed,
may no one turn on the way of their vineyards,
may drought and heat steal away their snow water
and Sh’ol those who have sinned.
May the womb forget them,
may worms find them sweet,
may they no longer be remembered —
thus may iniquity be snapped like a stick.
They devour childless women
and give no help to widows.
“Yet God keeps pulling the mighty along —
they get up, even when not trusting their own lives.
However, even if God lets them rest in safety,
his eyes are on their ways.
They are exalted for a little while;
and then they are gone,
brought low, gathered in like all others,
shriveled up like ears of grain.
“And even if it isn’t so now,
still no one can prove me a liar
and show that my words are worthless.”
Then Job
replied,
“What great help you bring to the powerless!
what deliverance to the arm without strength!
Such wonderful advice for a man lacking wisdom!
So much common sense you’ve expressed!
Who helped you to say these words?
Whose spirit is it, coming forth from you?
“The ghosts of the dead tremble
beneath the water, with its creatures.
Sh’ol is naked before him;
Abaddon lies uncovered.
He stretches the north over chaos
and suspends the earth on nothing.
He binds up the water in his thick clouds,
yet no cloud is torn apart by it.
He shuts off the view of his throne
by spreading his cloud across it.
He fixed a circle on the surface of the water,
defining the boundary between light and dark.
The pillars of heaven tremble,
aghast at his rebuke.
He stirs up the sea with his power,
and by his skill he strikes down Rahav.
With his Spirit he spreads the heavens;
his hand pierces the fleeing serpent.
And these are but the fringes of his ways;
how faint the echo we hear of him!
But who is able to grasp the meaning
of his thundering power?”
Job
continued his speech:
“I swear by the living God,
who is denying me justice,
and by Shaddai,
who deals with me so bitterly,
that as long my life remains in me
and God’s breath is in my nostrils,
my lips will not speak unrighteousness,
or my tongue utter deceit.
Far be it from me to say you are right;
I will keep my integrity till the day I die.
I hold to my righteousness; I won’t let it go;
my heart will not shame me as long as I live.
“May my enemy meet the doom of the wicked;
my foe the fate of the unrighteous.
For what hope does the godless have from his gain
when God takes away his life?
Will God hear his cry
when trouble comes upon him?
Will he take delight in Shaddai
and always call on God?
“I am teaching you how God uses his power,
not hiding what Shaddai is doing.
Look, you all can see for yourselves;
so why are you talking such empty nonsense?
“This is God’s reward for the wicked man,
the heritage oppressors receive from Shaddai:
if his sons become many, they go to the sword;
and his children never have enough to eat.
Those of his who remain are buried by plague,
and their widows do not weep.
Even if he piles up silver like dust
and stores away clothing [in mounds] like clay —
he may collect it, but the just will wear it,
and the upright divide up the silver.
He builds his house weak as a spider’s web,
as flimsy as a watchman’s shack.
He may lie down rich, but his wealth yields nothing;
when he opens his eyes, it isn’t there.
Terrors overtake him like a flood;
at night a whirlwind steals him away.
The east wind carries him off, and he’s gone;
it sweeps him far from his place.
Yes, it hurls itself at him, sparing nothing;
he does all he can to flee from its power.
[People] clap their hands at him in derision
and hiss him out of his home.
“There
are mines for silver
and places where gold is refined;
iron is extracted from the earth,
and copper is smelted from ore.
Miners conquer the darkness
and dig as far in as they can,
to the ore in gloom and deep darkness.
There where no one lives, they break open a shaft;
the feet passing over are oblivious to them;
far from people, suspended in space,
they swing to and fro.
“While the earth is [peacefully] yielding bread,
underneath, it is being convulsed as if by fire;
its rocks have veins of sapphire,
and there are flecks of gold.
Birds of prey don’t know that path,
no falcon’s eye has seen it,
the proud beasts have never set foot on it,
no lion has ever passed over it.
“[The miner] attacks the flint,
overturns mountains at their roots,
and cuts out galleries in the rock,
all the while watching for something of value.
He dams up streams to keep them from flooding,
and brings what was hidden out into the light.
“But where can wisdom be found?
Where is the source of understanding?
No one knows its value,
and it can’t be found in the land of the living.
The deep says, ‘It isn’t in me,’
and the sea says, ‘It isn’t with me.’
It can’t be obtained with gold,
nor can silver be weighed out to buy it.
It can’t be purchased with choice gold from Ofir,
or with precious onyx or sapphires.
Neither gold nor glass can be compared with it;
nor can it be exchanged for a bowl of fine gold,
let alone coral or crystal;
for indeed, the price of wisdom is above that of pearls.
It can’t be compared with Ethiopian topaz,
and it can’t be valued with pure gold.
“So where does wisdom come from?
where is the source of understanding,
inasmuch as it is hidden from the eyes of all living
and kept secret from the birds flying around in the sky?
Destruction and Death say,
‘We have heard a rumor about it with our ears.’
“God understands its way,
and he knows its place.
For he can see to the ends of the earth
and view everything under heaven.
When he determined the force of the wind
and parceled out water by measure,
when he made a law for the rain
and cleared a path for the thunderbolts;
then he saw [wisdom] and declared it,
yes, he set it up and searched it out.
And to human beings he said,
‘Look, fear of Adonai is wisdom!
Shunning evil is understanding!’”
Job went
on speaking:
“I wish I were as in the old days,
back in the times when God watched over me;
when his lamp shone over my head,
and I walked through the dark by its light;
as I was when I was young,
and God’s counsel graced my tent.
Then Shaddai was still with me,
my children were around me;
my steps were awash in butter,
and the rocks poured out for me streams of olive oil.
I would go out to the city gate
and set up my seat in the open space;
when young men saw me they would hide themselves,
while the aged arose and stood;
leaders refrained from speaking —
they would lay their hands on their mouths;
the voices of nobles were silenced;
their tongues stuck to their palates.
Any ear that heard me blessed me,
any eye that saw me gave witness to me,
for I delivered the poor when they cried for assistance,
the orphan too, who had no one to help him.
Those who had been about to die would bless me,
and I made widows sing in their hearts for joy.
I clothed myself with righteousness, and it clothed itself
with me;
my justice was like a robe and a crown.
I was eyes for the blind,
and I was feet for the lame.
I was a father to the needy,
and I investigated the problems of those I didn’t know.
I broke the jaws of the unrighteous
and snatched the prey from his teeth.
“I said, ‘I will die with my nest,
and I will live as long as a phoenix;
my root will spread till it reaches water,
and dew will stay all night on my branch;
my glory will always be fresh,
my bow always new in my hand.’
“People would listen to me;
they waited and were silent when I gave advice.
After I spoke, they didn’t talk back;
my words were like drops [of dew] on them.
They waited for me as if for rain,
as if for spring rain, with their mouths open wide.
When I joked with them, they couldn’t believe it;
and they never darkened the light on my face.
I chose their way [for them], sitting as chief;
I lived like a king in the army,
like one who comforts mourners.
“But now
those younger than I
hold me in derision,
men whose fathers I wouldn’t even
have put with the dogs that guarded my sheep.
What use to me was the strength in their hands?
All their vigor had left them.
Worn out by want and hunger,
they gnaw the dry ground in the gloom
of waste and desolation.
They pluck saltwort and bitter leaves;
these, with broom tree roots, are their food.
They are driven away from society,
with men shouting after them as after a thief,
to live in gullies and vadis,
in holes in the ground and caves in the rocks.
Among the bushes they howl like beasts
and huddle among the nettles,
irresponsible nobodies
driven from the land.
“Now I have become their song;
yes, I am a byword with them.
They loathe me, they stand aloof from me;
they don’t hesitate to spit in my face!
For God has loosened my bowstring and humbled me;
they throw off restraint in my presence.
At my right the street urchins attack,
pushing me from place to place,
besieging me with their ways of destruction,
breaking up my path,
furthering my calamity —
even those who have no one to help them.
They move in as through a wide gap;
amid the ruin they roll on in waves.
Terrors tumble over me,
chasing my honor away like the wind;
my [hope of] salvation passes like a cloud.
“So now my life is ebbing away,
days of grief have seized me.
At night pain pierces me to the bone,
so that I never rest.
My clothes are disfigured by the force [of my disease];
they choke me like the collar of my coat.
[God] has thrown me into the mud;
I have become like dust and ashes.
“I call out to you [God], but you don’t answer me;
I stand up to plead, but you just look at me.
You have turned cruelly against me;
with your powerful hand you keep persecuting me.
You snatch me up on the wind and make me ride it;
you toss me about in the tempest.
For I know that you will bring me to death,
the house assigned to everyone living.
“Surely [God] wouldn’t strike at a ruin,
if in one’s calamity one cried out to him for help.
Didn’t I weep for those who were in trouble?
Didn’t I grieve for the needy?
Yet when I hoped for good, what came was bad;
when I expected light, what came was darkness.
My insides are in turmoil; they can’t find rest;
days of misery confront me.
I go about in sunless gloom,
I rise in the assembly and cry for help.
I have become a brother to jackals
and a companion of ostriches.
My skin is black and falling off me,
and my bones are burning with heat.
So my lyre is tuned for mourning,
my pipe to the voice of those who weep.
“I made a
covenant with my eyes
not to let them lust after any girl.
“What share does God give from above?
What is the heritage from Shaddai on high?
Isn’t it calamity to the unrighteous?
disaster to those who do evil?
Doesn’t he see my ways
and count all my steps?
“If I have gone along with falsehood,
if my feet have hurried to deceit;
then let me be weighed on an honest scale,
so that God will know my integrity.
“If my steps have wandered from the way,
if my heart has followed my eyes,
if the least dirt has stuck to my hands;
then let me sow and someone else eat,
let what grows from my fields be uprooted.
“If my heart has been enticed toward a woman,
and I have lain in wait at my neighbor’s door;
then let my wife grind for another man,
and let others kneel on her.
For that would be a heinous act,
a criminal offense,
a fire that would burn to the depths of Abaddon,
uprooting all I produce.
“If I ever rejected my slave or slave-girl’s cause,
when they brought legal action against me;
then what would I do if God stood up?
Were he to intervene, what answer could I give?
Didn’t he who made me in the womb make them too?
Didn’t the same one shape us both before our birth?
“If I held back anything needed by the poor
or made a widow’s eye grow dim [with tears],
or ate my portion of food by myself,
without letting the orphan eat any of it —
No! From my youth he grew up
with me as if with a father,
and I have been her guide
from my mother’s womb! —
or if I saw a traveler needing clothing,
someone in need who had no covering,
who didn’t bless me from his heart
for being warmed with the fleece from my sheep,
or if I lifted my hand against an orphan,
knowing that no one would dare charge me in court;
then let my arm fall from its socket,
and let my forearm be broken at the elbow!
For calamity from God has always terrified me;
before his majesty I could never do a thing [like that].
“If I made gold my hope,
if I said to fine gold, ‘You are my security,’
if I took joy in my great wealth,
in my having acquired so much;
or if, on seeing the shining sun
or the full moon as it moved through the sky,
my heart was secretly seduced,
so that I would wave them a kiss with my hand;
then this too would be a criminal offense,
for I would have been lying to God on high.
“Did I rejoice at the destruction of him who hated me?
Was I filled with glee when disaster overtook him?
No, I did not allow my mouth to sin
by asking for his life with a curse.
“Was there anyone in my tent who didn’t say,
‘No one can find a single person
whom he has not filled with his meat’?
No stranger had to sleep in the street;
I kept my house open to the traveler.
“If I concealed my sins, as most people do,
by hiding my wrongdoing in my heart,
from fear of general gossip
or dread of some family’s contempt.
keeping silent and not going outdoors —
I wish I had someone who would listen to me!
Here is my signature; let Shaddai answer me!
I wish I had the indictment my adversary has written!
I would carry it on my shoulder;
I would bind it on me like a crown.
I would declare to him every one of my steps;
I would approach him like a prince.
“If my land cried out against me,
if its furrows wept together,
if I ate its produce without paying
or made its owners despair;
then let thistles grow instead of wheat
and noxious weeds instead of barley!
“The words of Job are finished.”
CHAPTER 42
Then [at
last,] Job gave Adonai this
answer:
“I know that you can do everything,
that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
“[You asked,] ‘Who is this, hiding counsel,
without having knowledge?’
Yes, I spoke, without understanding,
of wonders far beyond me, which I didn’t know.
“Please listen, and I will speak.
[You said,] ‘I will ask questions; and you, give me
answers’ —
I had heard about you with my ears,
but now my eye sees you;
therefore I detest [myself]
and repent in dust and ashes.”
EPILOGUE
As a mother of eight children, I’ve
seen the human brain develop from seconds out of the womb to the ripe old age
of thirty-five, as that is my oldest child’s age. YHVH GOD is our Parent, and the best way I
know to describe our relationship to Him would be to compare us to a typical
two-year-old with their parents. We take
things from our toddlers that are not good for them, that will cause them harm,
or things they are just not ready for yet, and they don’t understand why. Our
toddlers will pitch a mighty fit, and it is impossible to reason with them,
because they have not developed that part in their brain that makes them
capable of reasoning or understanding complex matters. We cannot explain why something is bad, and
all they can go on is their senses, it ether feels good or it doesn’t. Our
Father in Heaven does the same to us, and we cannot understand His reasons,
because we cannot see the big picture, while He can.
Likewise, when they become teenagers,
we can reason with them to a degree, but they still haven’t lived enough years
of experiences to have gained the wisdom we have. A great example of this was
when my 18-year-old son wanted to go camping and canoeing with his fellow high
school graduates at the end of the summer, before they all started
college. He asked me if he could go, and
he knew, legally I could not stop him. My response to him was, “I wish you
would not go, because 18-year-olds drown every day on camping and canoeing
trips. I can’t stop you, but I can ask
you not to go.” Surprisingly, he did not
argue with me, and told his friends that he was not going with them. He stayed home, I think to honor me and give
me peace of mind. I’m sure he was steaming inside, as his friends were posting
how much fun they were having on Facebook and Instagram for all to see.
On the second day of the trip, he came into my
room to tell me that one of the friends was missing, and it was feared that he
may have drowned. A few hours later they found his body, and to this day, no
one knows what happened. They were all
swimming, and he cut his foot. He went up toward the campsite to tend to his
cut, and he told them he would meet them down river as the other boys were
getting back into the canoe. He was
never seen, again. My son may have
thought I was being foolish or paranoid, and was even a bit angry with me when
I pleaded with him not to go, but my years of living and the wisdom gained is
what kept my son from experiencing a life-alternating trauma that would have
had a devastating effect on him, or may have even kept him from drowning
himself. It was difficult enough for him to lose a friend, but to have actually
been there would have been far worse. .
Just as my toddlers got angry with me,
and my 18-year-old thought I was being unreasonable, I did not stop loving
them. Throughout all their different stages of childhood into adulthood there
were many times when my children took fits, said terrible things to me, got
very angry with me, lost their patience with me, and even at times, “hated” me
in their hears for doing what parents are supposed to do. Some as adult even estranged themselves from
me for years, it devastated me, but I did not stop loving them. I waited patiently for them to come back,
some have, some haven’t.. It is the same way with us and GOD. When we get angry and take fits, GOD does not
get angry at us or stop loving us for being “toddlers” to Him. When we walk away from Him, because we don’t
understand Him or His Sovereign choice that may have devastated us, He
patiently waits for us to come back. In the meantime, He has left us with a
great many flawed human examples in the Bible from which we can draw
comfort.
This book is not for a scholarly
debate, it’s for hurting, broken, desperate and very confused hearts to find
their way back home where they belong. I
sincerely hope that you found comfort in our Infinitely, Understanding, and
Gracious Heavenly Father, who knows how you feel, and knows all about your
limited capacity to understand His Sovereignty.
Believe me, no matter the fit, the words, the actions or the years and
decades away from him, I assure you that He is not mad at you, and He is
patiently waiting for you to experience His Grace just for you.
About the Author
Kristina has a different take on life, love, loss, and GOD, because she's lived a life that has been extraordinarily painful. She tells it like it is, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and last, but not least, the funny! She is the author of nine books, most of which are unavailable until after she leaves this planet, because to Kristina, her writings should never be about her, but to point people to the One who wrote it through her.
She is the mother of eight children, ages thirty-five to fourteen. She spent thirty years as a wife, devoted to
her husband, who in turn decided to walk away from every vow he made ten times
to the LORD. The past eight years have
been excruciating for Kristina, from cancer to adult estrangement to two lost
loves. She has spent many nights falling
asleep on tear-soaked pillows, hoping beyond hope that her life’s verse and her
death’s verse succeed in accomplishing what GOD Himself ordained. GOD puts His
desires in our hearts, then makes us wear out our knees, crying an ocean’s
worth of tears, while waiting for Him to carry out what He ordained before the
creation of the world.
LIFE VERSE:
A verse that epitomizes one's life here
Psalm 37:4
DEATH VERSE
A verse that epitomizes the end of one's life here
Psalm 126:5-6
