LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS:

Is that why we are born?

      A while back, I remember reading about how it's human nature for everyone to seek love and happiness as our main pursuits over our lifetime. Who doesn't want to be in love, be loved, or be happy?  The sad fact of this part of the human nature is that sometimes we will pursue these things at the expense of others.  While we are pursuing love and happiness, at times, our pursuit causes grief and despair for others.  So, is it ever okay to pursue these things at the expense of another or if it causes grief to a fellow human being?  I think maybe that's why our divorce rate is just as high in the church as well as outside of the church.  If we aren't happy with our spouse, or we don't feel our needs met, well, we go looking for someone else to supply that which we need. 

     As a victim of divorce, I too sought refuge with a new and future potential spouse, until GOD denied me that lifetime happiness for nine years.  For years, I struggled with that, wrestling with the Almighty like Jacob, and finally letting Him prevail.  It finally occurred to me that my personal happiness in this life wasn't in the forefront of GOD's mind or desire for me.  That was a heavy pill to swallow.  What I did realize is that the Kingdom of GOD is the utmost importance to Him and building it was just part of my assignment, even if it meant the sacrifice of my best life now, as one popular evangelist titled his book.  Should we really pursue our best life now?  I've learned, no, we should not, especially at the expense of others. Being a single parent was GOD's will for my life whether I wanted to be one or not.  Did GOD will my divorce? I would say no, He did not, however, someone with free will did.  Free will is given to us when we are born. It's after we become children of GOD that we must decide if we are willing to give up that free will totally, partially or not at all.  

     Every time I try to make sense of something in my life that hurt me or tested my resolve to follow GOD's leading, I look for a precedent in the Bible and how GOD dealt with it with His servants. Some of our contemporary struggles can be found in the Scriptures, but some of them can only be solved through the principals taught to us in the Scriptures.  Blended families is just one of those things not mentioned in the Bible, but the principals of how to deal with them can be.  I can't find blended families with shared custody in the Bible. The ONLY reference I can come up with referring to any kind of a step-child scenario is in Genesis when Joseph told his family about his dreams.  When his father  Abraham was offended by the second dream, he referred to Leah as Joseph's mother, when in fact, Rachel was Joseph's true birth mother.  So, there's a step-parent, however, the birth mother or rather other wife was already dead.   The only other reference to divorce and a "step-child," would be in Matthew with Herod and Herodias and her daughter, who seduced her "step-father" with a dance. Herodias was called Philip's wife by John,  even though she married Herod.  Marriage and divorce is the equivalent of polygamy in Bible days.  Our courts may deem our marriages dissolved, but does GOD?  Doesn't the Scriptures say, "What GOD has brought together, let no man put asunder?"  

    Apparently, GOD doesn't have a second husband for me, and until recently, I couldn't understand why, seeing how my husband divorced me and took up with another.  It occurred to me when a friend of mine told me her back story of how when her mother took up with another man after leaving their father, the two daughters didn't exist anymore, or that was how they felt. The truth hit me like a bolt of lightning. Why it didn't occur to me before that shocks me.  I could not be an excellent, superb wife to a second husband and devoted full-time mother and father, in this instance, to the five children who needed me when their father left. Likewise, that other man couldn't be a devoted husband to a third wife while trying to maintain some stability for the three victimized children from his second wife's infidelity.  Not only did she put them through one divorce, but less than ten years later, she put them through another divorce with their step-father.  Those precious children needed a devoted father for stability, and that's what they got, because GOD denied that man any true and lasting love to fill that void in his life.  His children were more important to GOD than that man's need for a woman or wife in his life.  

     Because there are no blended families with shared custody in the Bible, I took that as a clue from GOD regarding what He is doing with me or going to do with me.  My children were His priority, and my first assignment was to be a devoted parent, not another spouse, trying to make another husband happy.  It was at that point that I realized GOD's will was best, as usual, I re-committed to sacrificing my will and pursuit of personal fulfillment and happiness and just accept His will and move on from there, asking Him how I can still be a better example or servant leaving something good behind. I usually accept my assignment and consider GOD's will better for all even if it's not what makes me happy in this life. It's never about me, but it's always going to be about what's best for the Kingdom. I can accept that and still be happy even if it's not what my heart and humanity craves.