King Saul reigned over David for thirty years and wanted him dead for nearly half those years.

I've been living here in the heart of the Bible Belt coming up on 30 years and under the "reign of a King Saul" for all those years, but he wasn't always wicked. A lot of that time he was fair to decent, but then he started going "mad" about 14 yrs ago. Each year, he's gotten progressively worse, bad enough to make me block out the good years. When I do remember the good years, I go into a tailspin of grief, because that man is dead, never to return. Right now, I'm under his "reign," and there's not a thing I can do about it. This is GOD's ordained will for my life. I just have to grin and bear it. Like Jonathan, I know GOD's hand is off this Saul and on another, but that other isn't ready to "take the throne." Like Abigail, I see the anointing on a "David" whose weakness is his flesh, but I also see his destiny is to be "king."

I'm having the hardest fight of my life keeping the faith of a Jonathan and an Abigail. I cannot escape "King Saul" because GOD wants me under his rule for now. I get so frustrated with GOD because I know "Saul's" destiny and ending, and it isn't going to be good, but I don't know when his "reign" will end. I keep getting too caught up in the debauchery, rebellion, and vindictive madness of this "King Saul," who is hunting me down, trying to destroy me from the inside out. I get lost in the pain of it, both for its evil foundations (the devil himself), and the grief over the man who used to be and will never be again. It tears away at my faith and strength, and each day/year I get weaker and weaker. I have no one to support me, no shoulder to cry on, so I am all alone in the Cave of Adullum. I don't have a Joab or a discontented army of 600 devoted to me, I only have 6 offspring, none of them who are walking with GOD. I have a few scattered friends, but they just don't get it. They cannot see what GOD has shown me.

So, the point of this blog post is if you have been under an oppressive King Saul for 15 days or 15 weeks or 15 months or 15 years, and God gave you a vision, a hope, and a dream, and you know from the bottom of your heart to the depths of your soul it came from God, the wait is hell on earth, but God understands that he gets it. It may only take one hour or so to read David's plight in 1 Samuel, however, every moment, every second of those 15 years of agony for David, GOD was with him on the mountain tops and most importantly in the valleys of despair. He is with me and you, also. I found this today and it describes in great detail the worst fifteen plus years of David's life, and I can so relate to this.

David's Horrendous run from Saul